Why the whispers?
Why the whispers?
I wrote a book called: “Life is a Song in the Key of Love OR Growing Up With the Embarrassment of Prejudice” ISBN 978-0-578-00690-1 (LCCN 2009901580). It is an autobiographical/philosophical discussion about acting out in prejudice or bias ways without actually FEELING the prejudice and bias. The book is meant to make us self-aware of whether our actions truly reflect our feelings; or are we just mimicking learned behavior? The book evolves into seeing the beauty of ALL life in ALL its forms of expression. To become in AWE of it ALL!
I see and hear continued comments of hate and confusion in regards to prejudice and bias. I felt the need to share the following to note that we can’t fight hate WITH hate. I feel the need to become AWARE of the SOURCE of our feelings; love ourselves and get to know one another in an open, honest way to remove pre-conceived notions learned and passed on. Below is an example of the confusing actions we show due to our lack of awareness in day to day life, relating to bias, prejudice and stereotype.
I was sitting in a restaurant having lunch, yesterday. There were two women and two men having lunch at a round table just behind me and to the right. At one point, discussion came to the cost of an Assisted Living Center where the one woman worked. She noted that the rate was so high priced she didn’t know how people could afford it. Then, she noted, even though it isn’t a Jewish (whispered) home, there are mainly Jewish (whispered) people there. I guess they are the only ones that can afford it? What assumptions was she making? I’m not Jewish, but I heard her clearly as well as others in the restaurant did, even though she whispered.
Years ago, I was on a bus with some co-workers, during our lunch period. There was a shuttle that took us from our downtown workplace to city restaurants. At one point, my one friend was telling a story about a black (whispered) woman at work. It was just a basic story with no emotion, about a basic work experience. The racial reference didn’t need to be made, it just was, with no malice.
Why do we WHISPER when talking about Cultures, Religious Creeds, Races, Lifestyle Choices, etc? The ridiculous thing is that the WHISPERING can actually be heard louder than a normal vocal tone. Plus, if the whisper isn’t heard, it leaves such a LOUD GAP in the conversation, that anyone around can tell there is a SECRET occurring!
Are we carrying guilt, fear, confusion? Why does pointing out a person’s physical attributes in a crowd, to make it easier to point out a friend, cause a whisper of their nature or preference? I had this discussion with an African-American friend of mine.
I recall a story of an Aunt of mine being referred to as ‘that fat girl over there’ by her mother, when someone at a picnic asked where her daughter was in the crowd. Depending on how a physical attribute is used or reference, can be quite hurtful.
I was watching one of the first episodes of SURVIVOR, a television show. The contestants are diverse. At first meeting, they are placed on the beach and asked to write down who they feel should be the leader of each tribe. I was curious to see how they would describe one another, not knowing each other’s names. Not one person noted race or culture as they described who they chose. Even though there was a dark skinned man, woman, Asian-looking woman, etc. – descriptions were made of clothes or hairstyles, etc. It was interesting to watch. As the show progressed, there was an issue that arose with a question of bias.
I’m not judging; I’m throwing this out there for discussion. It seems when we talk about a group that is in the minority or questioned by society, we whisper. In my book, I talk about educating ourselves, learning about racial, cultural, religious, and other groups so that we don’t have to whisper; and can feel comfortable with one another.
Education is the key! I suggest reading, talking to friends of different backgrounds, cultures, beliefs, etc rather than having to make assumptions or be fearful or questioning. Staying in the DARK breeds fear; fear breeds hate. Hating hate groups only perpetuates the cycle.
I felt inspired to write this when I hear and saw hate being spewed over the internet. Education and Awareness are the keys! Stop the ignorance and the hate; become aware and educated and share LOVE and UNDERSTANDING.
Thank you for allowing me to share. Again, my intent is to prompt awareness and promote healthy discussion. I wish blessings of peace, love and awareness to the world!
May we all reach the point of being in AWE of it ALL!
Motivational-Inspirational Speaker, Writer and Author
Helen Marie Szollosy
Live Life! Laugh Often!
Live life in amazement, be in Awe of it All!
www.lafolot.com
Tags: Bias, Camp Hill, Carlisle PA, Connecting, Harrisburg, health and wellness, Hershey, Prejudice, Racism, stereotype, Wellness, Women
