LAFOLOT

SUNSET & EVENING Star – I was showing my mom the beautiful sunset outside her Rehab/Hospice room window last evening. She said: ‘Sunset and Morning Star … a good time to die’ … I searched the words on the net and found this Alfred, Lord Tennyson poem. I think this is what she was referencing.

Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,
But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;
For tho’ from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.

MEMORIZED Childhood memories carry with us into our twilight years. I’ve found this when doing laughter wellness programs for dimentia units. I just focus on their MEMORIZED Childhood rhymes and they ‘flow and glow’ right along with me! NO STRESS!

A doctor told my mom she had 3 hours to 3 days to live, A YEAR AND A MONTH ago. Gotta laugh! It all worked out, because she was clearheaded and able to make all her requests and plans – one being that she go into Hospice. She tends to ask – what am I doing in here? When I refresh her memory – we have a good chuckle over DOCTORS! *What do THEY know! EveryBODY doesn’t follow what is ‘BOOK-LEARNED’. LOL!

She can chuckle, because she was a nurse trained around World War 2. A tough cookie, with a sense of humor, who always wanted to be the next Shirley Temple! She always talked about the fact that ‘others would stay away’ from the hospital residents that were dying … but she chose to sit with them. She wasn’t afraid of death.

So it’s easy to visit, because she knows and feels death is a part of life – and in the end – you JUST GOTTA LAUGH at the way it flirts with you and says … nope – NOT YET! … you’ve got another SUNSET!

Ha Ha Helen of LAFOLOT.com
Outlook Shift Engineer! Hear! Here!
… looking at LIFE and DEATH … as ALL A PART OF LIFE! … same thing … just like the tides … in and out …a process…

I think we need to find a LESS MESSY way to BIRTH into this world and MAKE OUR STAGE EXIT … maybe if we put the question out on Facebook? *ba dump bump …

When visiting with my mom, in hospice, Monday evening – one of the nurses stopped in to chat and noted that HEARING is the last sense to go. We talked about that a bit, re: comas, awareness of other physical presence etc. We also talked about ‘empathy response’ in the brain.

My mom, being a highly intellectual woman, likes sitting and listening to the discussion. Being exhausted, worrying, not physically able to get out of bed – it’s more fun for her to JUST LISTEN to STIMULATING conversation. She says she enjoys it.

There’s also a roommate who has been in a coma due to a brain bleed, but who had started to open her eyes and IRONICALLY – RESPONDS TO SOUND – able to turn her head quickly and look. Last evening, I noticed her tracheotomy tube had been removed! YEAH! Her daughter and grandson are happy about that!

I talk to ‘her’ when I go in to see my mom, to help stimulate her brain – having had an older sister in a coma when I was 8 years old.

So – last evening (Tuesday) – I went through my usual 10 minutes of RE-ORIENTING my mom, when I first showed. The HUMOR? It’s like the movie 101 proposals with Drew Barrymore and is it Ben Stiller? … any hoo ..

After going over where my mom is, why she is there and noting it was her decision and all is well … she gets out of WORRY mode and GETS READY TO EAT DINNER! Yes! LOL!

A hospice worker stopped in for a brief visit and while we were chatting about Chicago (her place of birth), Reiki and other fun stuff – my mom had gotten tired of waiting for her dinner.

She HOLLERED out into the hall: WHERE’S MY FOOD? (Laugh out loud)

A wonderful, young, male Nursing Assistant/Aide – originally from East Africa – named PETER – came into the room (he is one of her buddies) … but her MEMORY was gone at the moment … she repeats: WHERE’S MY FOOD? I said: Mom, this is one of your buddies, you like him!

She responds: I’m so HUNGRY – I’M EATING MY FINGERS OFF! (she was making an off sort of joke – and mimicking what she was saying) …

Peter says: GIVE ME A HIGH FIVE! and he starts to purposely miss her high five hands in a joking manner … then he LAUGHS!

My mom says, eyes wide: I ‘KNOW’ THAT LAUGH! I ‘KNOW’ that LAUGH!

*smile … she couldn’t quite remember Peter … but the SOUND of HIS LAUGH – triggered her memory!

So she starts singing an old Silver Screen Era Song to him: I REMEMBER YOUUUUUU……. and doing the broad arm opening movements as she swung her hand out from her heart – sweeping it out.

ENOUGH SAID: SOUND is the SENSE that helps persons in comas or On Their Way Out … Exiting Stage Left in life … to REMEMBER.

The SOUND of his LAUGHTER was the memory key!

Interesting, isn’t it?

Ha Ha Helen of LAFOLOT.COM
LIVING and LEARNING as I go …
Outlook Shift Engineer! Hear! Here!

I had to smile and shake my head as I responded: ‘STAY FOCUSED ON THE PRESENT, IT’S A GIFT!’

It’s the middle of winter 2011-12 in Central PA, USA. It is 56 degrees fahrenheit! That’s SPRING weather in my neck of the woods!

I stepped away from my home office computer, and stepped out of the house to SOAK UP THE SUN!
Get my blood flowing through my veins.
Get some exercise.
Take in the fresh air, blue skies and JUST BE!

I encountered a Bush-full of Birdies TOYING with a nearby black cat. He (I’m assuming due to the size) caught my eye, meowed and I invited him over by calling out HELLO! KITTY! He came bounding over to me, greeting me ‘CAT STYLE’ and rolled over for me to pet him! He appeared very healthy, and to belong to a nearby home. He even let out a few MEOWS to chat a bit.

I continued on my walk, smiling and singing in my head ‘WALKING ‘in’ SUNSHINE … oh yeah … and DON’T IT FEEL GOOD!’ .. to paraphrase Katrina and the Waves.

As I came around the bend in my housing community, I saw the school bus dropping off some kids. I eventually encountered them and HAD TO SMILE, as the two pre-teen girls had on shorts, a sleeveless top and had taken off their lightweight jackets.

I said: ‘HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS SPRING WEATHER! I’M 52 AND DON’T RECALL A WINTER SO MILD AS THIS IN ALL MY YEARS!’

The one girl responded as they passed: ‘YEAHBUT, IT’S SUPPOSED TO GET COLD IN FEBRUARY!’

‘STAY FOCUSED ON THE PRESENT, IT’S A GIFT!’ I just had to call back to them, as I shook my head side-to-side. They were only teens and had picked up the familiar follow-up phrase of doom and gloom and dread …. ‘THINGS MAY BE OKAY NOW – BUT JUST YOU WAIT!’

‘YEAHBUT’ isn’t a word. How about RELEARNING and RETEACHING our children: IT’S OKAY TO ENJOY THE PRESENT! IT’S A GIFT!

Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT.COM
OUTLOOK SHIFT ENGINEER! Hear! Here!
Live Life! Laugh Often!
rePHRESHing your thinking with HEALTHY OUTLOOKS!

It’s AH! MAZING! that I studied Interior Design ‘PH’resh out of Highschool at the Art Institute of Pittsburgh PA … and at age 52 I’m helping people re-DESIGN their physical interiors to achieve a PHresh, Healthy Outlook on Life!

As an interior design student, my focus was on ‘Design your rooms the way YOU want to use them – NOT the way Society tells you to use them!’ For example, if you want a pool table in what others would call the ‘Living Room’ – DO IT! I’ll ‘make it work for you’ in a functional, aesthetically pleasing way! In one of my homes, I created a MUSIC and MOVEMENT room in what would ‘NORMALLY’ (according to society) have been the DINING ROOM. I had no need for a dining room – so I designed a room to practice my clarinet, my singing, and exercise!

As a STUDENT OF LIFE, I now see how re-DESIGNING, re-LOOKING, re-PHRESHING how I see life experiences gives me a HEALTHY OUTLOOK! It allows me to MOVE FORWARD rather than STAGNATE!

My final project as an interior design student, was a living environment for Family Units with VARIED PHYSICAL NEEDS AND ABILITIES! I designed an aesthetically pleasing, functional living space with MOBILITY space and height varying work surfaces! Make the SPACE fit the USERS – not the USERS having to ADJUST to fit and use the space!

It’s AH! MAZING! because my book: LIFE IS A SONG IN THE KEY OF LOVE talks about this exact thing! My motivational/inspirational talks: PEER POSITIVE, WHY vs WOW!, REFLECTIONS, and WHO ARE YOU? all focus on this same theme – BEing who you are without judgment, and FLOWING easily through life with EASE of movement forward.

Who is NORM? anyway? There is NO NORM – only CREATIVITY to make physical spaces work for everyone! Let go of the PEER pressure and be PEER POSITIVE! Create POSSIBILITIES and not IMPROBABILITES!

I’m LIVING MY LIFE THEME of MAKING LIFE A SONG! DISing the disability falsehood and saying: LOOK OUT! IT’S LIFE! WITH A PHresh OUTLOOK! In Star Trek ‘The Next Generation’ the common phrase of FEAR from the crew, regarding THE BORG, was: THEY’VE ADAPTED! Make it a positive! HUMANS have the ABILITY to ADAPT!

Ha Ha Helen Szollosy, Interior re-DESIGNER
Outlook Shift Engineer! Hear! Here!
Live Life! Laugh Often!
www.lafolot.com

I had a wonderful PRESENT SELF-DISCOVERY moment, today! While I was driving down the road, a SPIRITUAL RIDDLE unraveled its CLUES on Personalized License Plates driving to the right of me!

The first one read: GO2 ZERO
The 2nd one read: ZAPP

AH! HA! and AH! MAZING! Go BACK to the Beginning, RESET my views and perceptions and LOOK OUT! IT’S LIFE! WITH A PHresh Outlook!

I LEARN by my Judgements and Perceptions of others! How interesting is THAT? Ah! Yes! The OLD MIRROR TRICK! It’s ALL done with MIRRORS! What PEOPLE MIRROR back at ME!

I’ve been laughing lately, at how people respond with a NEGATIVE or WORRY statement when I shared a happy or excited thought about the PRESENT MOMENT.

For example:

I say: ‘Isn’t it a BEAUTIFUL, unusually mild, pleasant winter day?’
They say: ‘Yes, but it’s supposed to get COLD tomorrow!’

I say: ‘Wow! Look at that beautiful sky! Look at those Interesting Cloud Patterns!’
They say: ‘Sure – BUT IT’S COLD!’

I received these two responses in the past two weeks. I have to smile and chuckle when I get the response OUT OF THE PRESENT MOMENT – projecting into a more dismal, negative future.

The GIFT of the PRESENT – AH! YES!
The GIFT of BEING in the MOMENT!

I’ve been stating two affirmations on a regular basis, the past week:

“I HAVE IT SO GOOD!” “I AM SO BLESSED!”

Then, while DRIVING MYSELF HAPPY in my car, I realized all these WONDERFUL TEACHERS have been walking across my path – giving me OPPOSITE ANSWERS – AFFIRMING MY AFFIRMATIONS!

YES! I ‘do’ have it so good! YES! I ‘am’ blessed!

I am SEEING the beautiful sky.
I am FEELING the beautiful weather.
I am AWARE of and GRATEFUL for these things!

I HAVE IT SO GOOD! I AM SO BLESSED!

I had been reviewing the PAST, a lot, lately! For some reason, recalling A LOT of life occurrences from my childhood, teens, early adulthood. I even had PEOPLE with who I worked in my early adulthood – SHOWING UP IN MY LIFE! I thought this ALL SO ODD! SO AMAZING!

Today, with two license plates: GO2 ZERO and ZAPP it all came together into the PRESENT MOMENT! What a GIFT!

Go back – rePHRESH my views – and FOCUS ON THE PRESENT, it’s a GIFT!

W.O.W.! World of Wonder!
Have to LAUGH!

Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT.COM
Live Life! Laugh Often!
Live in AH! MAZEMENT!

In honor of all the amazing work and awareness brought by MARTIN LUTHER KING, his family and others of his time period –

I wanted to Honor this day by bringing awareness of my book: LIFE IS A SONG IN THE KEY OF LOVE or Growing Up With the Embarrassment of Prejudice

The ‘thought’ for the book came to me back in 1999 during a New Year’s Church Service – ‘Start the New Year Fresh’ – church prayer/meditation regarding – our New Year focus. I was sitting quietly when the thought: ‘Growing Up With the Embarrassment of Prejudice’ came to mind.

I progressively started to write thoughts, notes, and quotes, etc. as I planned the book. It took me 9 years to write the book – because I wanted it to come from a POSITIVE space and not seem whiny nor negative. In my own growth and awareness – I found MY SINGING VOICE! In the process of finding my voice – I discovered the song from the 30′s: LIFE IS A SONG

There is a line in the song: Let’s Take Our Hearts and Dip them in Rhyme

THAT WAS IT! I thought! THAT’s how I can TURN THIS AROUND!

I wrote this book based on comparing LIFE to SHEET MUSIC! That a prejudiced/biased world would sound MONOTONE!

By Appreciating Life in ALL its forms of EXPRESSION (as well as showing RESPECT) – we can MAKE LIFE A SONG!

My book is available at: www.lulu.com/hszollosy or locally from me at: www.lafolot.com/books/
It is also available on www.AMAZON.COM – books – search on Helen Marie Szollosy.

I know some of you have already read it and given me WONDERFUL feedback! Thank you so much!

The book deals HEALTHILY and CREATIVELY with treating ALL LIFE Expression with respect … noting my oldest sister with brain damage as a result of being hit by a drunk driver … or think of a child from a challenged household – with hygiene issues – being bullied at school for BEING DIFFERENT… or a person with dimentia – not aware of the present … it’s more than just religion, culture, skin color, gender bias …

IF YOU FEEL SO MOVED – PLEASE SHARE MY BLOG … it’s OPTIONAL …

I have seen so much in the news about racist comments, bullying, brain damage, and other bias. I feel there is a stronger need for me to promote my book – and I don’t currently have the funds.

Thank you for any support. Again, it’s OPTIONAL … whatever works for you! IN ACCEPTANCE AND PEACE …

Highlighted Helen Marie Szollosy
Living BOLD and in ITALICS!
Make LIFE a SONG!
Be in AWE of it ALL!

WORLD CHALLENGE! I DOUBLE-DARE ‘YA!

LIGHT THE WORLD WITH SMILE POWER!

Ha Ha Helen of LAFOLOT.com

OUTLOOK SHIFT ENGINEER! Hear! Here!

Live Life! Laugh Often!

‘Your Bill is Paid’ said the server at FRIENDLY’s, once I had finished my meal. It just happens to be CHRISTMAS EVE as I write this.

I said: “WHAT!?” I looked around, thinking it was the Manager, or the server, or another server – since they know me from dining there frequently.

Then the server indicated towards an empty booth near the window. She said: “It was the family who had been dining over there.” She was smiling.

I said: ‘WOW! My heart is TOUCHED!’ … ‘I wish I could have thanked them! … I’ll have to BLOG about it!’ She smiled and nodded, a warmth in her eyes as they twinkled.

WOW! I told her: ‘I have to laugh! People see me dining alone and sometimes feel sorry for me. I LOVE to go places on my own! I like meeting people! I’ve gone on a cruise and other vacations on my own; because I enjoy meeting people and am a free spirit!’ She agreed, and said she is the same way.

I had been ‘playing’ with customers with kids as they came in the door of the restaurant, by putting on my clown nose as they walked in.

I had to laugh! I had ordered a SENIOR menu item (they allow it at this restaurant, even though I’m 52). The cost is less and I don’t eat a lot. I had just ordered a FISHAMAJIG! But, I have to tell you – it’s the MOST PRICELESS Fishamajig I’ve ever had!

I am truly heart-warmed by THE THOUGHT that went through this family’s mind and heart as they MADE THAT DECISION. I noticed they had a little boy with them, around age 6 to 8 years. What a WONDERFUL lesson, a priceless lesson they taught that child!

What a WONDERFUL gift of WARMTH and GOOD-HEALTH they gave themselves by this PRICELESS act!

I was ‘where I wanted to be’, ‘doing what I wanted to do’, ‘being, where I wanted to be’ …freely being me – and I GOT MY MEAL FOR FREE! TEE HEE HEE!

I’m sending out a positive thought, positive prayer and gratitude and warmth towards this beautiful, kind family.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT.COM
Outlook Shift Engineer! Hear! Here!

I have a beautifully witty, creative, kind friend who has shared the following story with me:

As a young child, in school, there was a holiday gift exchange. After the class picked their gift packages, another girl in the glass announced to the teacher: ‘I GOT MY OWN GIFT! THE ONE THAT I BROUGHT!’ Without ‘skipping a beat’, ‘without asking’ – the teacher told the girl to ‘JUST TRADE YOUR GIFT WITH (my friend’s name omitted). My friend noted she opened her gift to find A FRUIT CAKE! The girl who had FREELY given up the gift she brought in, got a wonderful, creative kit to play with and have fun!

My friend notes that THAT moment (jokingly) defined her life. My friend has a HIGHLY CREATIVE mind and EXCELLENT WIT!

OUTLOOK SHIFT ENGINEERING, now starts …

As an adult – we wonder WHAT the teacher was thinking!? I often note, just because a person is of a certain age, doesn’t mean they are able to ‘act as an adult’. Not always because of mental/emotional ability. Was the teacher Frazzled? Exhausted? Just wasn’t thinking… ??? who knows? Too bad we can’t ask “WHO” … BECAUSE “WHO” seems to be the one WHO knows the answers … now that I think about it! *smile Wonder where ‘WHO’ lives? Gonna have to look into that. Seems just like SANTA – maybe WHO lives at the South Pole?

As an adult – we look back and see that the ‘Other Girl’ might have known that her gift WAS the FRUITCAKE, and in no way wanted it! Maybe not, maybe her parent didn’t tell her what had been wrapped and she was trying to BE HONEST? Who knows … (I’m being fair in my outlook shift engineering view.)

So we fast forward in life, you have the girl that gave up the fruitcake …
you have my Creative-Minded, Beautiful, Witty ACTRESS friend who is GREAT with seeing life from an INTERESTING perspective, and being able to write and chuckle about it.

We all play these roles in impacting one another’s lives. I had MY instances, as a child, where ‘the other girl’ got the good stuff. I could share many stories. One of those girls in MY childhood, who seemed to ‘have it all’, lost her older brother to drugs in College – so even though she was an Honors student, she went into a clerical field seeing that College does bad things to people. Interesting how life turns out.

These FRUITCAKE Life Lessons – give us the opportunity to look back at this time of year and be GRATEFUL. Even if we are FULL of FRUITCAKE and sick of it.

I’m thinking my friend DIDN’T NEED the CREATIVE FUN KIT – because she was already Witty, and Beautifully Creative! Maybe the other girl needed the kit to boost her creativity? Maybe it helped her parent to see a different take on a gift versus a cake for a kid. Then again there are all the other scenarios that could come into play. I can think of MANY coming from a challenged family, with a mom who couldn’t drive, money being an issue, etc.

Another way of looking at it – it’s not always so bad to KNOW what’s in the package! This applies if you are the type to PREFER A SURPRISE be unwrapped!

Here’s to a new year, a new you and FRUITCAKE LIFE LESSONS! No matter WHAT you GET in LIFE; I think when you are able to do an OUTLOOK SHIFT ENGINEERING process on it all – in the end – you see it actually worked out perfectly!

Ha Ha Helen of LAFOLOT.com
Outlook Shift Engineer! Hear! Here!
Live Life! Laugh Often!

I teach what I need to learn, I share because I care. I don’t DO Christmas. At least not just ‘once during the year’ – I believe in LIVING LIFE in the SPIRIT of the SEASON.

I don’t believe in the once-a-year stress, mega-shopping, mega-debt, shock of seeing family members where one can’t relate and adjust, where addicts get into their mega-use to avoid it all, etc.
NOW for my OUTLOOK SHIFT ENGINEERING approach … AH! HA! HA HA!

I BELIEVE in LIVING LIFE! LAUGHING OFTEN!
I BELIEVE in LIVING in the SEASON and SPIRIT of Christmas year round! How does THAT SOUND?

My laughter leader trainer, Dr. Steve Wilson, wrote a wonderful book called: ‘GOOD-HEARTED LIVING’. We’ve seen these values and traits written and spoken about many times over: COMPLIMENTS, FLEXIBILITY, GRATITUDE, KINDNESS, FORGIVESS, and having fun and relaxing (CHOCOLATE).

I don’t DO Christmas … but I did awake this morning to the EXPECTATION, APPRECIATION of a BEAUTIFUL NEW DAY! I didn’t run out to find a tree with wrapped packages… I found the SUN streaming through my bedroom window! YES! A new PHresh Day! A new, PHresh Outlook on Life!

What a GIFT, this NEW day, this NEW start to a NEW outlook. ‘Pick myself up, dust myself off, start all over again!’ as the song says.

I get to LIVE LIFE! in AH! MAZEMENT! Each day I get to practice GOOD-HEARTED LIVING! I can awake to realize a NEW FORGIVENESS!

I look out my window as I prepare my healthy breakfast filled with GRATITUDE and see the MIRACLE OF LIFE as BIRDS flitter from branch to branch.

I get to PRACTICE this SPIRIT OF THE SEASON on a MOMENT to MOMENT basis … living in the GIFT of the PRESENT … constantly seeing a NEW SURPRISE … a NEW LESSON … a REASON to be GRATEFUL!

I get to EXCUSE, FORGIVE, RELEASE a minor irritation by a fellow DRIVER or SHOPPER when I am out-and-about.

I get to PRACTICE ‘A Little Kindness…’ and live in AH! MAZING! EXPECTATION of each new occurrence and miracle in my life!

Why only do this for a brief time each year? LIVE LIFE IN AH! MAZEMENT! LIVE LIFE! with EXPECTATION! on a moment to moment basis. LIVE, LIVE, LIVE IN the SPIRIT of the SEASON!

No need to wait for ‘once a year’ to SPEND TIME WITH THE KIDS, or a MISSED family member to BAKE SOME COOKIES or make some Ginger Bread Houses. It’s all about the SPECIAL QUALITY TIME … be creative! This translates to sandcastles and group gardening projects.

No need to wait for the ‘HOLIDAY SEASON’ to make donations or take food to a needy family.

No need to wait for the Holiday Season to take some time for YOURSELF, to ‘take a ME-DAY’ from work and CELEBRATE THE GIFT OF LIFE!

As MAME said: ‘We need a Little Christmas, right this very minute …’ – in life, on a moment to moment basis … living in the moment, in the MIRACLE of each new day and minute … seeing the JOY, LOVE, MAGNIFICENCE around us.

The SPIRIT of the SEASON is about:
EXPECTANCY,
BEING IN THE MOMENT
GRATITUDE and THANKS
FORGIVING
Being a little KIND, a little FLEXIBLE
Enjoying those TREATS
Spending time with someone
SHARING those GIFTS …

Play the HA HA HELEN SMILE CAMPAIGN - GAME!, DRIVE YOURSELF HAPPY!, take TIME 2 LAUGH … LIVE LIFE LIKE IT’S The Christmas Season!

THAT’S THE SPIRIT! L I V E IT! and share a Healthy Laugh or Smile while you’re at it!

Ha Ha Helen of LAFOLOT.com – OUTLOOK SHIFT ENGINEER, Hear! Here!
Live Life! Laugh Often!
A little kindness goes a long way …