LAFOLOT

Did you know there is a ‘Law of Average’ or Standards? It applies in Interior Design, when drafting and indicating counter heights, seat heights, ceiling heights, etc. It applies in school systems, noting whether we fall above or below average on a grading scale. It applies when a child is born, relating to their height, weight or mental/emotional capacity.

I write in my book, ‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’, that we may tend to unknowingly show bias or prejudice, and the best way to deal with it is talk openly. I suggest asking questions and becoming more familiar with cultures, non-average folks so that we may educate ourselves and break down barriers.

Yesterday, I had another ‘OOOPS I DID IT AGAIN!’ moment relating to making an ‘Assumption’ about another human being. Luckily, I was able to talk openly and educate myself, thank goodness!

I was sat at a booth at a local restaurant. About 6 feet across from me, in another booth, was a family consisting of the mom, dad, and two young boys. I already knew what I wanted, so I was just staring off into space. I suddenly noticed ‘more movement’ out of my left eye. The one boy was ‘playing peek-a-boo’ with me! I LOVE playing with kids when they initiate play out in public, being bored with their families. Babies do this a lot, by looking away from their parents and observiing with big, wide eyed looks as they absorb all the ‘new stuff’ they are seeing and experiencing.

So, my first thought was: ‘this boy seems too old to be playing peek-a-boo, but I’ll go along since he is having fun!’ So I put some silly grins on my face, he ducks and hides behind his daddy.
He pops his head out again, and I give him a wide open-eyed look! He ducks and hides.
He makes another appearance and I hide my face with the menu. He is giggling, hiding, popping up, and smiling.
Life gets too serious, too fast – so I love doing my part to allow kids to be kids and have fun!

All the while, I’m thinking – FOR THIS KID’S HEIGHT (here I go with my assumption and LAW OF AVERAGE), he seems to be a 7 or 8 year old playing PEEK-A-BOO like a little two year old!

Well, I’ve had many opportunities to assist parents with crying toddlers by offering them one of my SMILEY Face bookmarks. When the child sees it, their face lights up and they get curious. It usually stops them from crying.
So, in this case, even though this was a happy BOBBING, PEEK-A-BOO child, I offered him a SMILEY Face bookmark (actually my business card), and gave him an extra for his brother. The parents thanked me, and we went back to our own table space.

A little later, I asked the boy (who I ASSUMED was about 7 or 8 years old), ‘did you READ the back of the bookmark?’
[It has wonderful positive statements about having a fun, healthy outlook on life.]
The mother looked over and said:

HE’S ONLY 4, HE DOESN’T READ YET. [There's the LAW OF AVERAGE!] I ASSUMED he was older, even though I thought his behavior a bit juvenile! This child was almost 4 feet tall and was 4 years old!

I could have smacked myself. I said to the mother: ‘My he’s tall for his age!’ [COULD SOMEONE STUFF A SOCK IN MY MOUTH!]

We are all so unique and beautiful, but we have this LAW OF AVERAGE on which everything is based. I got treated differently because I was short, fat and female – when I worked in a technological environment. My age also came into play due to the field in which I worked. I talk a lot about this LAW OF AVERAGE in my book, by giving examples of scenarios experienced by friends.

I am making a judgement about myself. My book is about AWARENESS and Appreciating Life in All its Forms of Expression. I just had another dose of, ’step out of your Law of Average awareness and open your mind to other possibilities’ Helen. I’m glad the mother was comfortable enough to talk with me. I’m glad the boy was COMFORTABLE enough with himself to feel free to PLAY LIKE A FOUR YEAR OLD even though people may see him as a seven or eight year old.

Like Forest Gump said, ‘Life is like a box of chocolates’ – there’s a wide variety, full of wonderful flavors. Life is a Song in the Key of Love, full of wonderful variations on musical themes, with a wonderful mix of musical notes.

I got to HEAR THE SOUND of a TALL FOUR YEAR OLD while he MOVED FREELY in life, BOBBING up and down, around his daddy, feeling free to play PEEK A BOO with an over 50, menopausal women.

He held no bias towards me! He just saw a PLAY PAL – not a short, fat, 51 year old, menopausal woman!

Thank you beautiful four year old boy for accepting me as I am and showing me how to do the same. Angels come in ALL SHAPES AND SIZES!

Highlighted Helen of LAFOLOT
Be in AWE of it ALL!
Make Life a Song!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog may also be seen at Vibrant Nation under blogger name: Helenoflafolot]

I had the pleasure of being sat in a dining area filled with over 20 chirping cheerleaders, yesterday!

I like going out to eat on my own, which allows me to be open to meeting new people, and getting involved in interesting discussions. The Olive Garden Restaurant where I dine, has a complex design with 3 more intimate dining rooms vs the open seating area. I’ve been sat in one of those rooms, when it has been totally quiet, with just me BEing there. I’ve loved it because of the wide-high windows with the flowering trees outside. It’s fun to watch the birds fly in and out of the trees doing their ‘bird stuff’.

Well, yesterday, when I got sat in one of those dining areas, there was a couple at the table to my right and 20 or more beautiful young women excitedly talking about LIFE! I smiled as I started to review the menu. I had to look over at the couple to my right and smile – they smiled back. The room sounded FULL of CHIRPING BIRDS! I LOVED IT! It was abuzz with excited chatter!

It was wonderful to be amidst the beautiful, high energy of youth! I was so thrilled to be able to recognize that and soak it up! Around age 49, I had a big ‘Ah HA!’ moment which allowed me to let go of my fear of bears, spiders and other insects. I can now allow a bee to walk on my hand or face; explore this ‘interesting find’ and then buzz away without feeling threatened.

As a result, I was able to sit amidst the BUZZ of chatter from these lovely souls! I had to get up and walk over to the couple’s table and joke, ‘IT SOUNDS LIKE A BUNCH OF CHIRPING BIRDS!’ They nodded in agreement as they laughed.

Then, a wonderful thing happened; one of the girls a couple tables away LAUGHED OUT LOUD! It was so loud she actually followed with a giggle and put her hand over her mouth. It had FILLED the room! Well! I WAS GOING TO HAVE NONE OF THAT!

I quickly pulled an ‘appropriate’ LAFOLOT Smiley Face/Postive Statement bookmark out of my purse; jumped up out of my seat with a sly grin and ran it over to give to the girl. She looked up questioningly and accepted the bookmark with her friends looking on.

‘What does it say?’ they excitedly asked as I hurried back to my seat with my smile on my face. ‘YOU’VE GOT A GREAT LAUGH!’ the young woman announced! They smiled and laughed with her. Then, a wonderful thing happened; another girl at a table farther back LAUGHED OUT LOUD! Well! I dutifully jumped up out of my seat and ran a bookmark over to her! She smiled with pride as she graciously accepted the reward!

There was an adult woman with the Chirping Birds, so I quickly introduced myself and gave her one of my cards so she could feel safe knowing who had sprung into her flock of twittering birds, for whom she was responsible. She thanked me a couple times.
A couple other young women politely asked for a Smiley Bookmark, then we resumed our previous positions.

So often, young women are told to: SIT, LOOK PRETTY, DON’T WRINKLE YOUR DRESS, AND SPEAK SOFTLY. This type of behavior is carried into womanhood, into higher education, into the workplace and into their roles in relationships. Have we forgotten the song by Helen Reddy: ‘I am woman hear me roar, see me standing ‘cross the floor…’?

I am not into ROARING, but I AM into letting young women know it is OK TO LAUGH OUT LOUD! It’s OK to have a great idea and share it BOLDLY! It’s OK to EXPRESS your soul’s purpose that is yearning to get out and present itself to the world!

So to ALL the beautiful, spirited CHIRPING, BUZZING, LAUGHING OUT LOUD birds (I mean young women) out there in the world: LAUGH OUT LOUD and there’s no need to cover your mouth and shush, afterwards! Associate and mingle with Peers who embrace your passionate ideas; and SOAR TO THE SKY LIKE A BIRD spreading your ideas and laughter like SEEDS spread around by bustling chirping birds.

BE

Ha Ha Helen of LAFOLOT
Living in AWE of it ALL! Living Life in A-MAZE-Ment!
Live Life! Laugh Often!
LAUGH OUT LOUD!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog can also be seen at Vibrant Nation under Blog Cirlcle name: Helenoflafolot]
Motivational-Inspirational video by Helen of LAFOLOT can be seen on You Tube at Channel: Helenoflafolot

Friends and family have been encouraging me to put my creative characters and motivational/inspirational messages out on You Tube.

I talk about appreciating life in ALL its forms of expression; being in AWE of it ALL!

I have been hearing back from women, men and teens all over the world about their appreciation of my self-expression in video and blog form.

It’s funny, because I look at the videos and photos and see a short, fat, woman with no lips, a big menopausal abdomen, large forearms and gobble gobble neck –

BUT! When folks see me they say: YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!

So I KEEP ON spreading my message of ACCEPT LIFE in ALL its forms of expression –

don’t crawl into a hole because you don’t FIT THE NORM.

GET OUT THERE AND BE THE ‘ME’ YOU WERE MEANT TO BE!

Here’s my Creative, Menopausal Woman over 50 video I submitted to The ELLEN Show for her: Write a World Domination Theme Song contest.

Not bad for a White Hungarian Rapper? My darker complected friends get a kick out of my rhythm and rapping abilities! I get it from my HUNGARIAN ANCESTORS!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2Gm37ku7zw

I hope you can get to the video link, above! If not, my channel on You Tube is HELENOFLAFOLOT – just type it in the search box and look for the video called: DomEducate

I’M VERY PROUD OF IT!

Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Live Life! Laugh Often! (Live in AWE of it ALL! and Make Life a Song!)
www.lafolot.com
This blog can also be seen at Vibrant Nation under blog circle name: Helenoflafolot

I had my second book signing (‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’), last evening. I strategically scheduled it at Lily Cafe’ in the heart of downtown Carlisle, PA (USA) near Dickinson College. Besides college staff and students, the area is very diverse. There is the Army War College as well as people from all cultures and backgrounds. I placed advertising in two different newpapers, information on my website, out on Facebook, distributed fliers around Dickinson Campus and elsewhere. I felt good about this location.

My first book signing was the previous Friday, Easter weekend. I looked at it like a test run for me, since I hadn’t realized the Holiday weekend when I scheduled the advertising. So I was READY FOR THE CROWDS last evening.

Once I set up ‘my space’, a slew of Emergency Response vehicles went flying by the Cafe’! I thought, Deja Vu, since an emergency vehicle had flown by last Friday when I was setting up. I immediately thought the worst. I went to the owner and said: ‘This is like the movie Ground Hog Day! Does this mean I’ll get no interest again, this week? I hope you’re not superstitious!’

Since the book signing was scheduled from 3:00-8:00pm (to allow time for students getting out of classes to stop in), I relaxed at my book signing sofa, watching passers by. I also had my daily meditation magazine with me. I re-read the line that had interested me earlier that day: ‘NEVER LIMIT YOUR VIEW OF LIFE BY ANY PAST EXPERIENCES.’ Ernest Holmes

I had to SMILE, I was EXPECTING the worst based on a previous experience! I then allowed my gaze to fall on the businesses across the street. First business: Emporium CONCEPTS; Second business: … Life Cafe’; Third business: UNIFORMLY Yours

I had to SMILE and LAUGH to myself! Never limit my view from past experiences … here’s a new CONCEPT … (switch the letters in Cafe around and get FACE) Life – FACE it! … it’s UNIFORMLY YOURS … to make of what you will!

So, once again, I was learning my lesson to: ‘See With New Eyes’, ‘Shift my Awareness’, ‘Shift my Perception’, move forward with my thinking in a new direction!

I step away from my book signing area to talk to the owner; and when I return a woman walking in the door stops to look at me. She asks: ‘Are you Helen?’ I respond affirmatively. She gives me her name and I realize she is the wife of a former coworker and friend whom I haven’t seen for about 10 years! OH, THE SYNCRONICITY! They saw my AD in the Carlisle Sentinel and clipped it for the book signing and 20% off Cafe’ dining purchase offer!

SHIFTING my awareness and perception of the event was now starting the Life Experience Dominoes falling in a different direction! I shared with my two friends, all the synchronicity that had been happening up until ‘Muriel’ had walked in the door. Her husband Rich had introduced me to the movie ‘Baghdad Cafe’ way back in the early 1990s. I referenced ‘Baghdad Cafe’ as a comparison to Lily Cafe’ in a blog I wrote a couple weeks ago! I had been thinking about Rich and Muriel and had even moved near their ‘neighborhood’ over 2 years ago!

So, here I am, waiting for folks to show at Lily Cafe’ (Baghdad Cafe’) and they arrive! I end up having a wonderful conversation about my book topic with Muriel as well as an artistic young man who had stopped in with his brother. The young man told me he grew up in a farming family, was expected to stay in the ‘family business’, when in his heart and soul, he knew he was an artist! The conversation was priceless!

When Muriel’s husband Rich arrived, we caught up on 10 years of stuff, discussed the book and they stayed to dine at the Thai Cafe’. Antonio Anacan, the master jazz musician and featured performer, allowed me to sing for Muriel and Rich. They got to dance while I sang and Tony took a break.

I also got the chance to sell my book (way below cost) to a wonderful young couple I had met at the Cafe’ on another occassion. They are always ALL SMILES, having eachother, and a positive outlook; even though life hasn’t graced them with more than limited income. They WANTED to pay for the book, so I talked with Danielle who shyly negotiated the price they could handle. I gave them a couple ‘Life is a Song’ canvas shopping bags, a couple Pinback buttons and they promised they would help me advertise! They were ALL SMILES as they left the Cafe’!

I sold two books! YES! What a priceless evening! I left exhausted and found a UPS package on my doorstep when I arrived at home. I was so tired, I placed all my stuff in the living room and prepared for bed. After I awakened this morning, had a healthy breakfast and started to go through my items left in the living room, I RE-discovered the package. WHAT A SURPRISE!

I start to dig through all the foam peanuts. What did I find? A YELLOW SMILEY SPATULA! I was ALL SMILES! My laughter leader buddy, Barb G. had sent me a SMILE spatula! I read the card, the beautiful note as well as the check donation she sent me for helping with Marketing/Advertising bookmarks. I SMILED even broader, as I felt the WARMTH of HAVING BEEN THOUGHT OF in a kind way!

I laughed when she noted in the card that she knew I didn’t cook, but perhaps I could display it in my kitchen to bring me smiles! I immediately used the chain to hang it on my plant rack at my kitchen window. My cat Buddy, was enjoying the open window, the sun shining in, and the smile spatula! I took a photo.

 
Then, as I continued preparing for a health faire at a local Senior Center, today; I started to find Smiles ALL OVER MY HOME! If you read my blog about having to bring my birdbath into my home; it now reflects rainbows all over my ceiling! I took a photo of the RAINBOW SPOTS smile created by the sun reflecting through the glass votive candles sitting in the water. I went into my living room to find a SHADOW SMILE peaking at me from the Cathedral ceiling; as a result of the sun going through the SMILE SPATULA! I walked out of my home office, looking up to find a WINKING SMILE on my smoke alarm mounted on the wall. I entered my bathroom to find a ‘Pearl Necklace’ SMILE made by having hung the necklace on a bathroom shelf!

I was ALL SMILES! I was SURROUNDED by SMILES! My home was filled with SMILES BY THE MILES!

It’s the THOUGHT that counts – friends from years past THINKING of me and supporting me at my book signing.
New friends, Danielle and David, RICH in love and friendship but not in money, showing me support!
Master Jazz musicians allowing me to share my gift of song with friends while they dance.
A distant laughter / Virtual Buddy thinking of me and sending me a smile; and
ALL THESE SMILES being REFLECTED back at me to warm my home space, heart and soul.

Highlighted Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Live Life! Laugh Often!
Live Life in Amazement!
Share your SMILES by the MILES!
www.lafolot.com

[this blog can also be seen at Vibrant Nation under blog circle name: Helenoflafolot ]

As I was growing up, I had an unwarranted fear of spiders, bees, lightening bugs and just about any other flying or crawling insect. It was frustrating, because I didn’t have as much fun as other kids, due to always running into the house!

If a bee, or other flying or crawling insect was on or near me, and anyone was standing next to me – WHACK! I would involuntarily hit the other person in trying to rescue myself from this small creature.

If I was in a car, it would get dangerous! I would either scream and hit the person next to me, or have to pull to the side of the road and get out of the car.

At age 49, I had a major enlightening moment! This is the time I MOVED FORWARD, took early retirement, started my LAFOLOT business, and developed an appreciation for LIFE in ALL its forms of expression. HA HA HA!

I was now able to sit or stand or just BE next to a spider and admire it.
I was now able to allow a Bee to BE. I could allow a bee to fly around me, walk on me, buzz near my ear, dive into my salad as I sat at my LAFOLOT display table, at an outdoor event. IT WAS A WONDERFUL, NEW FEELING!

I have shared this NEW ME with many others, when I am promoting myself, my business, my book etc. I give others HOPE in achieving the same FREEDOM!

So, last evening was rough. For some reason, my Alpha Male cat ‘Buddy’ was restless. As a result, I couldn’t get to sleep. He kept fussing and whining and wanting attention. I never figured out what was bothering him. When I finally got to sleep, I was AWAKENED at 4:00 or 5:00am by my Omega cat, ‘Fonzie’. Meowing and Meowing and running around to get my attention; wanting his the bathtub spigot turned on, since THAT is the way he insists on having his water!

So, I get up at 8:00am and make my healthy, ENLIGHTENED PERSON, breakfast. I am very exhausted from lack of sleep, but I need to be up since a Handyman is supposed to call and stop by my house to fix some items.

I make my Herbal tea -
Pour my cranberry/pomegranate juice -
Make my Romaine Lettuce Salad with Lite Zesty Italian Dressing – Slivered Almonds, Chopped Apples and Cranberries.

I sit on my sofa with my breakfast items on a side accent table.

I’m enjoying the beautiful sky, the bright shining sun, the birds, my pets FINALLY calming down and resting, Steve Halpern Healing Music CD…

I hold my salad bowl in front of me while sitting on the sofa.
As I finish my salad, put the bowl on the side table; I move to lean forward to get off the sofa:

SCREAM, WHACK!, FALLING BACK ONTO THE SOFA!

WHAT WAS ‘T H A T T H I N G!!!!!’ that plopped onto my lap that I just WHACKED! towards the sliding glass door window – that fell behind the curtain?

My Alpha cat Buddy is now in FROZEN, EMOTIONALLY AWARE, HEIGHTENED SENSES mode – obeying his owner’s reaction!

I start to LAUGH OUT LOUD! I realized I had dropped a cranberry on my shirt as I was eating the salad, and it fell on my lap when I went to get up! When I saw the dark THING my tired brain immediately reacted!

I’m LAUGHING and LAUGHING and LAUGHING! My poor cat Buddy is slowly staling the curtain at the window. I talk to him and let him know IT’S OK! It’s JUST A CRANBERRY!

I continue to laugh, due to FATIGUE, EXHAUSTION AND LACK OF SLEEP as well as JUST LAUGHING AT MYSELF!

I’m thinking – OH YES! ENLIGHTENED ONE! Whacking a cranberry!

So – per the RULES OF ENLIGHTENMENT . . .

repeat Step 1. – Release Ego.

Highlighted – er uh – Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Live Life! Laugh Often! and keep an eye out for killer cranberries!
Live Life in A-Maze-Ment!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog may also be viewed at Vibrant Nation under blog circle name: Helenoflafolot]

I conduct laughter wellness programs and am often complimented on the ’safe/comfortable’ environment that is created.

I was trained to create a non-perfectionistic, optional participation, non-physically invasive environment. A man shared openly: ‘I really appreciate the guidelines you stated at the beginning of the program, about respecting people’s space!’

I just tried to pick up my Alpha Male cat and give him a hug, he squirmed and jumped away. I respected that he didn’t want interaction at this time; he had just wanted a little recognition and a rub around the ears. I appreciated that he let me know, in a gentle way, his wishes at this time.

In my book, ‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’, I talk about respecting life in ALL its forms of expression. We all have our own wishes and comfort levels when interacting with one another on a daily basis. Watch how animals approach one another. Dogs, cats, birds, insects; they all have a system of approach. They use site, physical movement, and sense of smell to gently approach and ask: ‘Is it OK for me to enter your space?’ They have a way of letting echother know: ‘This is what I am allowing and accepting at this time.’

For example, try hugging a beehive! But, you may say, I LOVE that bee hive!; I want to give it a hug! Well, listen to the agitated buzzing of the bees, observe, sense and LET THE BEES GO!

Try picking up a cat after it has ‘gently’ let you know that it doesn’t want to be held. The signal will get stronger with an open claw or gentle nip of the teeth. Watch an Alpha cat with an Omega cat when the Omega isn’t listening to ‘I don’t want to be bothered at the moment;’ you will hear a quick NYEH! signal sometimes followed by a quick touch of the paw to the pestering Omega cat.

We need to learn from animals, insects. People have this same system of letting one another what they will allow or not allow as far as ‘getting into their space.’ We need to be aware of the subtle signals, that sometimes have to grow to stronger signals.

I am grateful that I got to attend a variety of 12-Step programs as well as one-on-one and group counseling. I loved learning about:

1) Respecting a person’s space
2) Using ‘I’ statements or ‘I feel’ statements when discussing a personal need or wish
3) The word ‘NO’, without an explanation, is acceptable and should be acknowledged and respected.
4) My body is MY personal space and I have a right to allow or not allow permission to enter my personal zone.

I am blessed to have learned these social skills; but the frustration comes from daily interactions where they are not respected.

In my laughter programs, people are told if they don’t want to shake a person’s hand (for whatever reason: cold/flu season for example) they can just keep their hands at their side as an idicator.

Another example is, if a person does not want a hug, they can put their hand forward to indicate a handshake is acceptable. Another suggestion is to ASK. Openly ask a person, ‘would you like a hug?’ If the recipient extends a hand or says, no – then that request needs to be honored. Think again, about the animal and insect kingdoms. Learn from their examples.

I CRINGE when an adult ORDERS or INSTRUCTS a child to: GIVE HER A HUG! What if the child isn’t COMFORTABLE with the adult they are being TOLD to hug? What if the adult they are telling to hug, isn’t comfortable?

Here’s a suggestion: ASK the child IF they would LIKE a hug? Respect the body space of one another.

I recall, as a child, how SCARY or DIFFERENT the adults around me seemed. Just the HEIGHT and EXPRESSIONS could be very scary and intimidating. Children are in the mode of Learning, Experiencing, Discovering the world. I recall being told to ‘Go Say Hello to your Grandfather!’ Now my grandfather was a kind man, but he was big, stocky, dark hair and blurry eyeglasses. I recall being very fearful, taking the quarter he offered and running away. *pfew!

I recall having being dropped off at a woman’s home so I could be safely watched during the day. My mom was a nurse, my dad worked and an older sister was STUCK with the duty of dropping me off to be baby sat. I Screamed and Kicked and Yelled at the doorway, refusing to let go of my sister’s hand. I didn’t want to go into this STRANGE home with the PERSON I didn’t know. I screamed and cried and yelled. I recall sitting at the kitchen table ALL day until I got retrieved by my sister. No matter what the woman did, I sat there with my head down. She was a scary, strange adult. (As I got older, I got to know this kind, smiling woman who ran the library at my school – Marie M.)

Think from the mind of a child. Think from your own mind. Would you want to be pushed to get physically, full body close to a person you weren’t comfortable with?

Because I am so AWARE of respecting my own personal space and other’s personal space, I CRINGE when I go to church and am told ‘IT’S TIME FOR HUGS AND HANDSHAKES!’. With everyone being seated in the pews, there’s no escape!

I have nicknamed this time: INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS! The FULL-BODY INVASIVE huggers start their SLOW – ARMS WIDE OPEN ascent on any body they find! I start to practice all the healthy social skills I’ve been taught.

1) I give a smile and wave! – didn’t work… they’re still approaching!
2) I extend my hand! – didn’t work … they GRAB my hand and PULLLLL me into THEIR ZONE – invading my ZONE!
3) I verbally express – I DON’T WANT A HUG! – didn’t work, they respond: BUT I LIKE HUGS! (I guess I don’t count?)
4) NO turns out to NOT be an acceptable answer! I guess the 12-Step programs and psychologists were wrong after all! I am then PUMPED FOR INFORMATION … “but WHY? but WHY?” – I feel like I’m talking to a 2 year old with the why? why? why?
Then the ultimate: There must be something wrong with you, I’m going to FIX you! YOU WILL SUBMIT, YOU WILL COMPLY!

Ohhhh Noooooo! The body snatchers are going to ASSIMILATE me! Ahhhhhhhhh!

So, ASK if the person wants a handshake or a hug
RESPECT the person’s personal space
ACCEPT the answer
and, maybe – like the LEARNED cats, dogs, bees, birds, etc. You will WIN OVER their trust and respect and they’ll step over the line into your zone, one day and FREELY offer the hug or handshake you have expressed that you like. Just like the Alpha cat that eventually allows the Omega cat into its space. Just like the bee that realizes you aren’t going to harm it.

Let people BE – approach them with ACCEPTANCE and RESPECT of their PERSONAL SPACE.
START with a SMILE
ADD a WAVE and see where it FLOWs.

This has been a Highlighted, Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT moment.
Live Life! Laugh Often!
LIVE and LET LIVE!
Be in AWE of it ALL and Make Life a Song!
www.lafolot.com/books
[this blog can also be seen at VIBRANT NATION under blog circle name: Helenoflafolot]

This is not a whiny blog about pity me childhood stuff; but a discussion on personal-awareness of views placed on new lives/souls being born into this world. ‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’ – be in AWE of it all, respect life in all its forms of expression; and make life a song!

Labels I’ve heard:

Your head is BIG! – You can’t wear your hair short – Your eyes are too close set. [I felt bad about my looks.]
You’re big boned – you wear a size X. [When I see my childhood photos, I look very thin?]
You have a Wide foot, D-width. [I picked clunky, boring shoes.]
You don’t want to dress like those snobby girls. [when given the chance to pick a flower print or plain-striped dress - I chose the plain-striped dress - which I really disliked.]
Oh! You got placed in those honors classes – that’s where all the snobby kids are. [As a result, I asked to be placed in the next lower level, so I wouldn't be seen as snobby - rather than challenging my mind.]
You’re too quiet, cat got your tongue? [as a result, I talked less!]

I CRINGE when I hear new parents tell me:
My child or my grandchild is in the Such-and-Such National Percentile.
The ‘Doctor’ says he/she is TOO short, TOO tall, TOO small etc COMPARED TO other children at that age.

I hear these labels announced loudly and clearly in FRONT OF toddlers (I remember comments made about me at age 4!)

I understand the need to be aware of certain physical and mental development issues in order to provide treatment or education at an early age, where it is available; to improve the quality of life.

At WHAT point do we let the child know: YOU’RE OKAY JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!

When we keep hearing, as children, everything that is WRONG with us; that we don’t fit the NORM – our self-esteem goes crashing into the ground or never gets developed.

Someone sent me an e-mail of groups of people from all over the world. I think it had to do with wealth. What I noticed. The people I was taught appeared to be poorest and lacking; HAD THE BIGGEST SMILES AND BRIGHTEST LIGHT in their eyes!

I am not saying to not get your teeth straightened or eyes or hearing corrected, or anything else that may improve the quality of your life! Good hygiene makes for a happier, healthier life. Just don’t do this because you want to FIT IN with the NORM, the AVERAGE.

I went to a hairstylist about 10 years ago and said: ‘I was told I can’t wear my hair short with my ears cut out; because my head is big and my ears are too big.’ She said: ‘I don’t think that’s true at all, let’s try it.’ Well, check out my photo on my website, I think she was right! My head is just PERFECT as well as my ears!

DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY and tell a beautiful new soul that’s recently arrived in this world; YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL, YOU’RE PERFECT – JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! Children observe, hear and hold onto what they are told from a very early age – fill them with thoughtful words not of judgement, but of acceptance. Share this philosophy with their siblings. Compliment them on their uniqueness, and perhaps we’ll start growing some healthy, self-loved teens and adults.

There’s no need for a world of clones. I’m 5 feet 2 inches; when I go grocery shopping, I openly ask anyone taller than me for help with reaching items on the top shelves. After the kindness is done for me, I tell them to come and get me if they need anything from the lower grocery shelves, since I don’t have to reach down as far!

VARIETY is the SPICE of Life! Don’t LABEL and JUDGE rather APPRECIATE the DIVERSITY! This allows us to be of more HELP to one another, due to our differences in mental, physical, and emotional ability.

There’s a story of the difference between heaven and hell. Hell is a bunch of people with very long arms with spoons as hands, all sitting around a bowl of soup, starving; because they can’t put the soup in their mouths due to the long arms.

Heaven is a bunch of people with very long arms with spoons as hands, all sitting around a bowl of soup, healthy and happy; because they are feeding one another.

Let’s feed one another with appreciation, acceptance, tolerance, respect and Make Life a Song!

Highlighted Helen of LAFOLOT
Live life in a-MAZE-ment!
Make Life a Song!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog may also be read at Vibrant Nation under Blog Circle name: Helenoflafolot]

Meet my alter ego and distant distant Hungarian cousin: Ilonka Szollosi (pronounced: Szeu-leu-shee)

I didn’t start singing until age 40. I have a lower, torch singing voice. When I would go to church or other events; the key of the music didn’t fit my voice. I thought I sounded odd when I heard the higher female voices around me. One day, my church announced they were performing GODSPELL and needed ‘players’. I got brave and showed up! Due to a fluke, I got the role of Sonia. LUCKY ME! Sonia sings a saloon-style, lower range song called: Turn Back Oh Man!

A star was born! The song range fit my voice perfectly! My vocals came out clearly, without strain! WOW! I thought, I can sing! The rest is history! I got fellow, piano playing church members to use the electronic keyboard to adjust the key to fit my voice. These folks played and recorded to tape, music I could learn in MY KEY! I eventually performed a torch singing show at our church coffee house.

Yes, I was ‘rusty’, and the audience was loving and forgiving. I went on to take voice lessons to hone my skills. I also started to collect songs that fit my voice. Thank goodness for karaoke machines with key/pitch adjustments, I was able to start singing a wider variety of music! Thanks to a friend named, Vicki, I got to practice my singing by going to nursing homes and singing! The folks loved my voice and ERA of music that fit my voice. I found the silver screen era music fit beautifully!

I evolved into singing on stage in the role of DOMINA (A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum). The music for this character fit my voice! I got to sing: Dirty Old Man (what a thrill!)

So if anyone has ever told you, YOU CAN’T SING! Step away from the PEER PRESSURE and JUDGEMENT. Step away from that label. Tell your friends to be: PEER POSITIVES and be supportive.

As my friend Ilonka Szollosi says in her youtube video: REPEAT ME! YOU, TOO, CAN SING! LET ME HEAR YOU!

Seriously! Make your soul happy! ‘Sing out loud, sing out strong – don’t worry that it’s not good enough, for anyone else to hear, just sing, sing a song!) Neil Diamond

In laughter clubs, we PURPOSELY SING BADLY because it’s more fun. So sing along – BADLY IF YOU WISH – with Ilonka Szollosi as she encourages you to make your soul happy and SING!

http://www.youtube.com/Helenoflafolot#p/a/u/0/ByEz_H3uUR0

Have a beautiful, song filled day!
Put a song in your heart, a smile on your face and a glimmer in your eye!
Live Life! Laugh Often!
Live Life in Amazement! and be a PEER POSITIVE not a PEER PRESSURE NEGATIVE
ENCOURAGE YOUR FRIENDS TO BE ALL THEY CAN BE – WITHOUT JUDGEMENT!
Highlighted Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
www.lafolot.com
[this blog can also be viewed at Vibrant Nation under blog circle name: Helenoflafolot]

Allow me to introduce a character I created called: Bea Gaude’ (pronounced Gaw-day), Fashion Consultant.
Bea was created when Ha Ha Helen was invited to a Halloween party and she didn’t have a costume. Helen threw together mismatched items from her closet, put on cat glasses, created business cards went to the party. Bea was a big hit!

Perhaps it was her floral print skirt, with her plaid jacket and woven tapestry print purse. Either way, Bea came to BE!

Bea is PURE PERFECTION!

What IS perfect, anyway? Bea is here, in my latest video blog, to set you on the path to BEing the YOU, you were meant to be.

If someone approaches and tells you, ‘You Don’t Fit In!’ respond: THANK YOU!

Be a trend setter, be yourself! P-E-R-F-E-C-T, perfect is what it means to ME, says BEA!

If needed, copy and paste this web link: http://www.youtube.com/Helenoflafolot#p/a/u/0/SRmvc6RtxoY
Otherwise, just click HERE to watch it!

BE with BEA and BE FREE…
“STAY SWEET!” Mary C. [one empowered business woman of integrity with a free spirit!]

Ha Ha Helen of LAFOLOT
Live Life! Laugh Often!
Living Life in a-MAZE-ment!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog can also be seen at Vibrant Nation under Blog Circle name: Helenoflafolot ]

Coming from a background of social awkwardness; to learning how to socialize in a healthy way through 12 Step Programs and counseling; evolving into a strong, independent, self-assured, motivational speaker, business owner, etc. – I was thrilled, when I offered one of my ‘marketing stress reliever pinwheels’ to a woman and she chose to say ‘no’.

Not that it matters, she appeared to be from mid-Eastern background. Being a 3rd generation Hungarian-American, I can understand cultural guidelines.

So, when she responded ‘no’, I smiled – withdrew the offer. I said, ‘I’m a laughter yoga’ instructor – I use these to teach people how to take a deep breath and release it – while having fun with the pinwheel.’ I said, ‘It’s actually not a toy.’ She smiled.

I went to pay my bill, the woman’s food was ready. She saw me laughing and joking with the owner, since I know them well. She looked to me and ‘APOLOGIZED!’ I said: ‘Oh No! It’s quite alright to say ‘no’!’ It’s a very HEALTHY thing to do! [I learned that 'no' is an okay announce, and NO explanation is needed as a follow-up!]
I’m glad you felt comfortable telling me ‘no’. She smiled and thanked me. I said: ‘There is NO GUILT involved in not accepting an offer from me!’ She laughed!

So, KUDOS, to this wonderful, self-assured woman who felt comfortable in responding with a ‘healthy no’ – with no explanation, needed.

HOORAY!
Ha Ha Helen of LAFOLOT
WWW.LAFOLOT.COM