LAFOLOT

Did you know there is a ‘Law of Average’ or Standards? It applies in Interior Design, when drafting and indicating counter heights, seat heights, ceiling heights, etc. It applies in school systems, noting whether we fall above or below average on a grading scale. It applies when a child is born, relating to their height, weight or mental/emotional capacity.

I write in my book, ‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’, that we may tend to unknowingly show bias or prejudice, and the best way to deal with it is talk openly. I suggest asking questions and becoming more familiar with cultures, non-average folks so that we may educate ourselves and break down barriers.

Yesterday, I had another ‘OOOPS I DID IT AGAIN!’ moment relating to making an ‘Assumption’ about another human being. Luckily, I was able to talk openly and educate myself, thank goodness!

I was sat at a booth at a local restaurant. About 6 feet across from me, in another booth, was a family consisting of the mom, dad, and two young boys. I already knew what I wanted, so I was just staring off into space. I suddenly noticed ‘more movement’ out of my left eye. The one boy was ‘playing peek-a-boo’ with me! I LOVE playing with kids when they initiate play out in public, being bored with their families. Babies do this a lot, by looking away from their parents and observiing with big, wide eyed looks as they absorb all the ‘new stuff’ they are seeing and experiencing.

So, my first thought was: ‘this boy seems too old to be playing peek-a-boo, but I’ll go along since he is having fun!’ So I put some silly grins on my face, he ducks and hides behind his daddy.
He pops his head out again, and I give him a wide open-eyed look! He ducks and hides.
He makes another appearance and I hide my face with the menu. He is giggling, hiding, popping up, and smiling.
Life gets too serious, too fast – so I love doing my part to allow kids to be kids and have fun!

All the while, I’m thinking – FOR THIS KID’S HEIGHT (here I go with my assumption and LAW OF AVERAGE), he seems to be a 7 or 8 year old playing PEEK-A-BOO like a little two year old!

Well, I’ve had many opportunities to assist parents with crying toddlers by offering them one of my SMILEY Face bookmarks. When the child sees it, their face lights up and they get curious. It usually stops them from crying.
So, in this case, even though this was a happy BOBBING, PEEK-A-BOO child, I offered him a SMILEY Face bookmark (actually my business card), and gave him an extra for his brother. The parents thanked me, and we went back to our own table space.

A little later, I asked the boy (who I ASSUMED was about 7 or 8 years old), ‘did you READ the back of the bookmark?’
[It has wonderful positive statements about having a fun, healthy outlook on life.]
The mother looked over and said:

HE’S ONLY 4, HE DOESN’T READ YET. [There's the LAW OF AVERAGE!] I ASSUMED he was older, even though I thought his behavior a bit juvenile! This child was almost 4 feet tall and was 4 years old!

I could have smacked myself. I said to the mother: ‘My he’s tall for his age!’ [COULD SOMEONE STUFF A SOCK IN MY MOUTH!]

We are all so unique and beautiful, but we have this LAW OF AVERAGE on which everything is based. I got treated differently because I was short, fat and female – when I worked in a technological environment. My age also came into play due to the field in which I worked. I talk a lot about this LAW OF AVERAGE in my book, by giving examples of scenarios experienced by friends.

I am making a judgement about myself. My book is about AWARENESS and Appreciating Life in All its Forms of Expression. I just had another dose of, ‘step out of your Law of Average awareness and open your mind to other possibilities’ Helen. I’m glad the mother was comfortable enough to talk with me. I’m glad the boy was COMFORTABLE enough with himself to feel free to PLAY LIKE A FOUR YEAR OLD even though people may see him as a seven or eight year old.

Like Forest Gump said, ‘Life is like a box of chocolates’ – there’s a wide variety, full of wonderful flavors. Life is a Song in the Key of Love, full of wonderful variations on musical themes, with a wonderful mix of musical notes.

I got to HEAR THE SOUND of a TALL FOUR YEAR OLD while he MOVED FREELY in life, BOBBING up and down, around his daddy, feeling free to play PEEK A BOO with an over 50, menopausal women.

He held no bias towards me! He just saw a PLAY PAL – not a short, fat, 51 year old, menopausal woman!

Thank you beautiful four year old boy for accepting me as I am and showing me how to do the same. Angels come in ALL SHAPES AND SIZES!

Highlighted Helen of LAFOLOT
Be in AWE of it ALL!
Make Life a Song!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog may also be seen at Vibrant Nation under blogger name: Helenoflafolot]

I headed out to a Coffee House Open MIC night last Wednesday. On the way, I stopped by a local discount store to pick up some potting soil. At the shopping plaza, I saw about 7 baby geese being attended to by 3 adult geese! I thought this odd, since I had heard that geese mate for life. I was wondering if the mate to the new mother had died, and two other geese stepped in to help. Either way, the support and mothering going on for the 7 baby geese was endearing.

As I headed down the road to the Coffee House, I had to pass some ongoing major roadwork construction. There was a huge, 20 feet high crane next to a highway overpass. Traffic was being managed by the usual STOP/SLOW road construction workers. As I approached, I had a SLOW sign being held by the roadworker in front of me. So, I slowed down to let ‘HER’ know I saw it and wouldn’t run her down. Because I had stopped pretty far back, I gradually allowed my vehicle to creep closer to the worker, with plenty of room to spare.

Then, SHE held up 3 fingers and mouthed something to me. It looked like she was saying 3 Minutes and holding up 3 fingers. I appreciate road work managers/sign holders and had no problem with waiting. We had an incident where a local woman was killed due to having a steel highway support beam dropped on her car as she drove under an overpass. I wasn’t in any hurry and was just waiting.

Well, the female roadworker continued to hold up the 3 fingers and mouthed 3 minutes. I started to think there was a concern, so I rolled down my window and poked my head out the window with a questioning look. The female roadworker came over to my window and said: ‘It will just be 3 minutes.’ I said: ‘That’s fine.’ She started to tell me more about why I and the other traffic behind me had to wait. I smiled and said, ‘I’m okay with it, really!’ She said: ‘Well it looked like you were mad.’ I laughed and said: ‘That’s just my face, my mouth turns down at the corners, naturally.’ I said: ‘Don’t read people’s faces, their faces don’t always show what’s going on inside.’ She said: ‘Yes! I have that problem, too! People always think I’m mad!’ I laughed out loud and said ‘Hold on a minute!’ I pulled a SMILEY Face LAFOLOT bookmark out of my purse and handed it to her. She looked at it LAUGHED/SMILED and said: ‘THANKS!’

I had to laugh. If it would have been a man holding that sign, he would have just held the STOP/SLOW sign and not worried.

Put a CARING, NURTURING WOMAN behind the sign and she makes sure the folks in the cars in front of her understand WHY they are being inconvenienced and is concered about THEIR FEELINGS!

I had a nice time at the Coffee House Open MIC night. When I headed back home in the same direction, the same woman was there holding the STOP/SLOW sign. As I S L O W L Y drove by on the opposite side of the road, I rolled my car window down and waved S L O W L Y back and forth so she could see me. My car has LAFOLOT.COM advertising on the side, so she new it was me. She gave me a big SMILE, LAUGH, and a WAVE!

I’m sure she had CARINGLY told her next group of WAIT-EES that it would only be 3 minutes and not to worry!

Interesting ….

Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Live Life! Laugh Often!
www.lafolot.com

I had the pleasure of being sat in a dining area filled with over 20 chirping cheerleaders, yesterday!

I like going out to eat on my own, which allows me to be open to meeting new people, and getting involved in interesting discussions. The Olive Garden Restaurant where I dine, has a complex design with 3 more intimate dining rooms vs the open seating area. I’ve been sat in one of those rooms, when it has been totally quiet, with just me BEing there. I’ve loved it because of the wide-high windows with the flowering trees outside. It’s fun to watch the birds fly in and out of the trees doing their ‘bird stuff’.

Well, yesterday, when I got sat in one of those dining areas, there was a couple at the table to my right and 20 or more beautiful young women excitedly talking about LIFE! I smiled as I started to review the menu. I had to look over at the couple to my right and smile – they smiled back. The room sounded FULL of CHIRPING BIRDS! I LOVED IT! It was abuzz with excited chatter!

It was wonderful to be amidst the beautiful, high energy of youth! I was so thrilled to be able to recognize that and soak it up! Around age 49, I had a big ‘Ah HA!’ moment which allowed me to let go of my fear of bears, spiders and other insects. I can now allow a bee to walk on my hand or face; explore this ‘interesting find’ and then buzz away without feeling threatened.

As a result, I was able to sit amidst the BUZZ of chatter from these lovely souls! I had to get up and walk over to the couple’s table and joke, ‘IT SOUNDS LIKE A BUNCH OF CHIRPING BIRDS!’ They nodded in agreement as they laughed.

Then, a wonderful thing happened; one of the girls a couple tables away LAUGHED OUT LOUD! It was so loud she actually followed with a giggle and put her hand over her mouth. It had FILLED the room! Well! I WAS GOING TO HAVE NONE OF THAT!

I quickly pulled an ‘appropriate’ LAFOLOT Smiley Face/Postive Statement bookmark out of my purse; jumped up out of my seat with a sly grin and ran it over to give to the girl. She looked up questioningly and accepted the bookmark with her friends looking on.

‘What does it say?’ they excitedly asked as I hurried back to my seat with my smile on my face. ‘YOU’VE GOT A GREAT LAUGH!’ the young woman announced! They smiled and laughed with her. Then, a wonderful thing happened; another girl at a table farther back LAUGHED OUT LOUD! Well! I dutifully jumped up out of my seat and ran a bookmark over to her! She smiled with pride as she graciously accepted the reward!

There was an adult woman with the Chirping Birds, so I quickly introduced myself and gave her one of my cards so she could feel safe knowing who had sprung into her flock of twittering birds, for whom she was responsible. She thanked me a couple times.
A couple other young women politely asked for a Smiley Bookmark, then we resumed our previous positions.

So often, young women are told to: SIT, LOOK PRETTY, DON’T WRINKLE YOUR DRESS, AND SPEAK SOFTLY. This type of behavior is carried into womanhood, into higher education, into the workplace and into their roles in relationships. Have we forgotten the song by Helen Reddy: ‘I am woman hear me roar, see me standing ‘cross the floor…’?

I am not into ROARING, but I AM into letting young women know it is OK TO LAUGH OUT LOUD! It’s OK to have a great idea and share it BOLDLY! It’s OK to EXPRESS your soul’s purpose that is yearning to get out and present itself to the world!

So to ALL the beautiful, spirited CHIRPING, BUZZING, LAUGHING OUT LOUD birds (I mean young women) out there in the world: LAUGH OUT LOUD and there’s no need to cover your mouth and shush, afterwards! Associate and mingle with Peers who embrace your passionate ideas; and SOAR TO THE SKY LIKE A BIRD spreading your ideas and laughter like SEEDS spread around by bustling chirping birds.

BE

Ha Ha Helen of LAFOLOT
Living in AWE of it ALL! Living Life in A-MAZE-Ment!
Live Life! Laugh Often!
LAUGH OUT LOUD!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog can also be seen at Vibrant Nation under Blog Cirlcle name: Helenoflafolot]
Motivational-Inspirational video by Helen of LAFOLOT can be seen on You Tube at Channel: Helenoflafolot

Friends and family have been encouraging me to put my creative characters and motivational/inspirational messages out on You Tube.

I talk about appreciating life in ALL its forms of expression; being in AWE of it ALL!

I have been hearing back from women, men and teens all over the world about their appreciation of my self-expression in video and blog form.

It’s funny, because I look at the videos and photos and see a short, fat, woman with no lips, a big menopausal abdomen, large forearms and gobble gobble neck –

BUT! When folks see me they say: YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!

So I KEEP ON spreading my message of ACCEPT LIFE in ALL its forms of expression –

don’t crawl into a hole because you don’t FIT THE NORM.

GET OUT THERE AND BE THE ‘ME’ YOU WERE MEANT TO BE!

Here’s my Creative, Menopausal Woman over 50 video I submitted to The ELLEN Show for her: Write a World Domination Theme Song contest.

Not bad for a White Hungarian Rapper? My darker complected friends get a kick out of my rhythm and rapping abilities! I get it from my HUNGARIAN ANCESTORS!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2Gm37ku7zw

I hope you can get to the video link, above! If not, my channel on You Tube is HELENOFLAFOLOT – just type it in the search box and look for the video called: DomEducate

I’M VERY PROUD OF IT!

Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Live Life! Laugh Often! (Live in AWE of it ALL! and Make Life a Song!)
www.lafolot.com
This blog can also be seen at Vibrant Nation under blog circle name: Helenoflafolot

It’s April 18, 2010 and I’m having a SILLY SUNDAY!

The first clue about this Sunday being SILLY and SPECIAL was the fact that BOTH my Alpha female cat ‘Kitty’ and my Alpha male cat, ‘Buddy’ decided it was OK for both to come and sleep on the bed with me at the same time! Is the world coming to an end? What a miracle!

I spent the morning relaxing and listening to the Sunday morning jazz stations ‘mellow music’ show. Ahhhhhhh -
While listening to the music, I opened Facebook and checked on my ‘Life is a Song‘ coupon special, book AD. I was getting ‘clicks’ and all was well. I hone my marketing and advertising skills by making general observations about Facebook activity, so I spent some time doing that.

Then it was time to get out of the house and make use of my A.C. Moore Craft store, fifty percent off coupon, that so diligently gets e-mailed to me every Sunday morning! I’m a VALUED A.C. Moore club card holder, you know! I AM SPECIAL! But first, lunch at Olive Garden! Going out to eat works well for visibility in my marketing and advertising.

I like to park farther out in the parking lot when I make the trip to these two places so I get some exercise. So I treck over to the restaurant which has a 15 minute wait; but that’s okay because I get ‘face time’ and unexpected advertising when I sit in the lobby and wait with the crowd. Marketing marketing marketing! While waiting, we heard ‘CRASH’! I announced: ‘YEAH!’ The one host looked at me. I said: ‘Well, it’s done, why get worked up? Just sweep up the glass! He revealed to me that it is such a common occurrent, when he is waiting on tables and entire trays go crashing to the floor, he doesn’t miss a beat with his order taking!

I had been given one of those beeper disks that is supposed to light up and buzz when it is your turn to be seated. One of the friendly hosts called over to me: ‘Helen, you should have ‘GONE OFF’.” I looked up and laughed! I pulled the device out of my pocket, it wasn’t flashing or buzzing. I respond: ‘Well, I’m in a good mood at the moment, I don’t have any need to GO OFF on anyone!’ (insert smile or laugh here) When I handed it to her, THEN it started it’s commotion! Too late buzzer-lightup thingy, I’m already getting seated!

I got one of the young, handsome, great smile, servers and had a nice lunch. Over the half-wall from the niche where I was seated (containing 3 other tables) was a family with toddlers. You could hear the fun, giggling, and squeels of the kids. A new couple got sat when I was almost finished. At one point, the little girl let out such a squeal of GLEE that it shreeked through the area. I just laughed out loud, because I thought it was fun. The lady across from me winced. My handsome, friendly, great smile server brought me my check along with a ‘Comment Card’. This was new. ‘OOOOOOH! A CHANCE TO WRITE SOMETHING SILLY’, I SAID! He just laughed, not being worried.

I had my daily meditation magazine with me, so I joked I was going to pull a profound quote out of the periodical and write it on the card. I was laughing and chuckling as I wrote on the back: ‘THE OBSTACLE IS THE PATH.” Tao Then I noted he was a friendly server and had a great smile! ha ha ha Enough SILLINESS there, I left and headed over to A.C. Moore Crafts to use my coupon!
woo hoo!

While getting my walking exercise in, returning my periodical to my car so I wouldn’t have to take it into the store; I heard a vibrating, rumbling noise. I looked up. I saw a truck with an appliance in the truck bed, with bubble wrap all around it. The bubble wrap was making a buzzing noise like when you put a baseball card clipped to a bycycle tire spoke as a kid.

I waited for the man to get out of his truck and hollered: ‘Sir! You ought to drive your truck all around more and have some fun with the bubble wrap making that buzzing noise!’ He smiled and laughed, agreeing with me. He said he had heard it and it reminded him of the baseball card bit on bycycle tires, too!

As I got to the A.C. Moore store entrance, a husband was DUTIFULLY leaning against the stone pillar in front of the store. His wife was shopping in the bins outside the store. I called out: ‘Sir! Just keep holding that column up for me while I shop in the store!” He smiled and said he’d do his best!

I got the chance to give a plug for my book, when I went to the checkout! I forgot I was wearing my AD button: ‘LIFE IS A SONG IN THE KEY OF LOVE’ by Helen Marie Szollosy, www.lafolot.com. The cashier was looking at it with a quizzical look on her face.

[an aside: When I was in a woman's clothing store the day before, the sales clerk said, as she prepared a changing room for me: 'Your name's Helen?' 'Yes.' I answered. Wondering how she knew? Then, last evening, I went to an art gallery showing. An artist I was talking to said: 'I know I've seen your name in an e-mail I received recently.' I laughed and said: 'Oh! You're reading my book advertising button!' I forgot my name was on it! Plus, I was thrilled someone had forwarded and e-mail or youtube video of mine to her!]

I said, ‘OH! That advertises my book.’ She was excited, ‘You wrote a book?’ ‘Yes!’ I was thrilled for the opportunity to toot my own horn! It ‘just so happened’ – tee hee – that I had my mini-marketing tools for my book in my purse! I whipped one out and gave it to her; explaining it was about ‘appreciating life in ALL its forms of expression.’ I mentioned it was an autobiographical/philospophical discussion on learned but not felt, bias and prejudice. Her face lit up! She was a caucasian woman and told me her husband is African-American. I let her know that book was about ALL types of bias. I gave her a couple more marketing cards and told her to feel free to pass it on.

She asked if the book was in stores, and I let her know it was self-published, it could be gotten at my website, that I had had a book signing in Carlisle, PA , recently, etc. She thanked me and I left.

When I made my next trip to the grocery store, I got to have more fun. When I got to the dairy section to pick up eggs, an employee had a HUGE cart filled with eggs, as he was stocking the area. I walked around the cart, he was sitting on the floor. I said: ‘I SEE YOU ARE UP TO YOUR ARMS AND LEGS IN EGGS!’ He started to laugh and said: ‘Hey! I like that! That’s egg-actly what I am!’

So, finished with my SILLINESS, I headed home, with a smile and a chuckle.

MAY YOU ENJOY A SILLY DAY IN THE NEAR FUTURE!

Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Live Life! Laugh Often!
and let your silly side out and keep your sunny side up!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog can also be seen at VIBRANT NATION under blog circle name: Helenoflafolot]

A friend of mine sent me this ‘daily inspiration’ message yesterday:

I once spoke to my friend, an old squirrel,
about the Sacraments -
he got so excited
and ran into a hollow in his tree and came
back holding some acorns, an owl feather
and a ribbon he found.
And I just smiled and said, “Yes, dear,
you understand
everything imparts
His grace.” –St. Francis of Assisi

No matter WHERE you get your inspiration or place your beliefs; I have personally observed how animals and insects can teach us wonderful life and spiritual lessons!

This morning I was awakened by my cats to; meow! meow! get up and seize the day! (They don’t speak latin, so it wasn’t Carpe’ Diem!) It was 5:55 when I looked at the clock! I like turning on the patio light so my cats can watch any critters going by the sliding glass doors. I noticed a brown rabbit sitting 10 feet out from the patio. I immediately shut off the light; allowing the rabbit its peace.

As dawn broke and I sat at my office computer, I saw the brown rabbit continued to ‘just sit’ in the grass. I put on my distance glasses (being over 50 and now wearing tri-focals), and noticed it was just BEing. I went about my BUSY-ness, and occassionally noticed the rabbit was still there. I avoided eating my healthy breakfast; being too caught up in wondering why the updates on my computer were taking so long! Again, the rabbit was JUST BEing. I noticed it decided to take a little ‘munch’ out of the grass.

I took the rabbits advice around 6:00 AM and started my healthy breakfast. I sat in my comfy sofa with my accent table containing my healthy breakfast items; and had breakfast while just BEing with the rabbit. When I was done, and continued to sit as the rabbit was, it started to twitch its nose. I realized I was tapping my finger on the sofa in time with the rabbit.

Was the next clue to ‘get moving now’ since I had finished my breakfast? I went back to my computer to see if the updates were completed, so I could access my e-mail; it was now about 7:09 AM. The rabbit stretched its legs by going into a partial sit-up position then went back into resting mode. It took a few more nibbles out of the grass; and at 7:11 AM it hopped off to its right, across the back lawn.

I wished the rabbit a HOPPY day and thanked it for inviting me into its EARLY MORNING RABBITATION (meditation/prayers).

I have a ferrel cat named Fonzie; who was rescued from under a local playhouse, after its mother had been hit by a car. The meows were heard by actors in rehearsal at the theatre. I got Fonzie (so named for his softness and survivor abilities), to be a ‘playmate’ to my Alpha Male cat Buddy. Fonzie wasn’t more than 4 inches long and high, and STOOD UP to Buddy (arching his back) when he first met him. What a brave cat! I thought! Fonzie saw himself BIGGER than his body gave him credit for! (John Maher)

It has taken 4 years, but Fonzie has taught me a lot. Be Brave, Be Cautious, Be Bold and Be a good friend to Alpha characters; you never know when you’ll need their help! Fonzie went from constantly hiding in the closets, under the bed, to finally showing himself. He then went from jumping, running and hiding EVERY time he saw me, to now ALLOWING me to sit near him on the sofa without running away. He now comes to me to ALLOW me to pet him! (ha ha ha) I watch the way he slowly approaches Buddy and then gets groomed and allowed to cuddle with Buddy for a nap. I got to watch how GENTLY Buddy introduced Fonzie into the family. Buddy would gently give ‘fake nips/bites at Fonzie and then follow with gentle licking’. I saw the message he was giving Fonzie, ‘it’s OK, don’t stress, relax’. I saw how he could calm Fonzie with his Alpha Male Cat wisdom and gentleness.

I saw a duck ‘just sitting’ out in our parking lot yesterday. It was raining, and puddles were forming. We RUN from the rain; this duck said ‘bring it on!’ – YES! I’ve got more puddles!

When I’m spending too much time at my computer, my Alpha femal cat ‘Kitty’ jumps up on the desk and insists I pet her. Not only that, she plops down and insists I scratch behind her head and also gently rub her belly. She then, shows me TOTAL TRUST, closes her eyes and goes into a sleep. ‘Enough of that computer!’ she is gently telling me; time to take a break and rest. She has total trust while she allows me to cradle her; since she would surely slip off the desk if I wasn’t supporting her while she rests.

I am grateful for all the creatures and insects that present themselves to me, each day, to teach me life and spiritual lessons.

Allow me to give a SHOUT OUT to the mammal and insect world: Meow! Woof! Buzzz! Rabbit Nose Twitch! Tweet! Chirp! etc.
Thank you for taking the time to allow me to attend your classes. Where can I sign up for the next lesson?

Highlighted Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Living Life in A-Maze-Ment!
Live Life! Laugh Often!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog can also be seen at Vibrant Nation under Blog Circle name: Helenoflafolot]

These are my “personal thoughts and observations” on SMILING.

What I’ve come across in my training and research is that SMILING has many wonderful health benefits. One of them is opening communication between the left and right hemispheres of the brain! A smile naturally UPLIFTS and LIGHTENS not only the face, but the heart, soul, spirit, health, and demeanor of a person!

Before I became a Certified Laughter Leader, WLT; people would pass me and ORDER … SMILE! I would wonder why they were doing this? It instantly made me ‘irritable’, having the opposite effect of the intention of the sender. I would say, ‘What? This is my face, I’m just thinking, what’s wrong?” I have one of those ‘small mouths that naturally turns down’. I would say: ‘This is my God-given face, what’s wrong with it?’

Then, I figured: ‘Well, If they WANT me to walk around with a smile all the time, I will!’ So, whenever I passed someone, I would INSTANTLY put a frozen GRIN on my face, then close it. Some people started to say: ‘WHAT’S WRONG?’ ‘Gheesh! I thought. They’re never happy!’ Some people would say: ‘DO YOU HAVE GAS?’ I couldn’t win! Nothing seemed to make people happy with the look on my face!

So, once I learned more about the mental, spiritual, physical health benefits of smiling, I started an experiment! EVERYONE I met at work, or grocery shopping or at Stop Lights while waiting at a busy intersection got a close-mouthed smile from me. SOMETHING MAGICAL HAPPENED! I started to get automatic, mirrored smiles in return! “Wow! I thought! This is amazing!” I started to make a game of it. If I gave a close-mouthed smile and received an automatic one in return from whomever I was passing, I gave myself ONE POINT! Something MORE MAGICAL started to happen! I realized I not only got a REFLECTED smile back at me; but I would sometimes receive a verbal ‘Hi! or How Are You?’ “WOW! I once again thought, now I’m going to give myself TWO POINTS!

So, I started totalling my points whenever I went out anywhere. I started to notice something even MORE magical! Total strangers would be walking with their head down, look up, see my closed-mouth smile, and 1) Smile Back at Me 2) Say Hello, and ask how I was doing, 3) START TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH ME! Besides the previous three reactions, I would VISIBLY NOTICE 1) Their posture got taller, 2) Their face lit up, and 3) They were still smiling when they passed me!

I went from: Irritible, to Faking a Smile, to Experimenting and Playing a Game with Receiving a Smile to, seeing the VISIBLE WARMTH and ENLIGHTENMENT that was produced by acknowledging a person with a look and smile!

I started to get a warm, fuzzy feeling and couldn’t wait to go out and share smiles! I started to call this my: HA HA HELEN’S SMILE CAMPAIGN and posted it on my website! I made buttons that read: ‘I JOINED HA HA HELEN’S SMILE CAMPAIGN!’ I started to incorporate the observations and experiment in my: ‘Laughter? Let’s Get Serious!’ talks and programs!

I started to notice more and more, how our bodies NATURALLY use SMILING and LAUGHING as natural responses to:

HAPPINESS
EXCITEMENT ABOUT LEARNING and DISCOVERING
FEAR
HESITATION, etc.

For example, watch a baby when it first smiles or giggles; they don’t understand language but they smile and giggle with EXCITEMENT at NEW things seen or NEW self-discoveries. I started to realize; if smiling opens communication between the left and right brain hemispheres, then this act of a baby must be helping the child to learn, about these new discoveries!

I met a young girl in a Sunday School class who talked to me about a fear of riding a roller coaster, but her friends were insisting. In relaying the story, she sucked in her breath to show me hesitation and fear; made a frozen grimmace or grin, released the sucked in breath, letting all the air out and released the frozen grin or grimmace. I WAS AMAZED as I OBSERVED this! The girl was using NATURAL body functions of DEEP BREATHING, pulling the mouth back and up to OPEN THE MIND AND RECEIVE and then RELEASE THE FEAR!

I started to realize another action when a person is entering a SCARY situation in a horror movie. I noticed they would walk low, stealthily and PULL THEIR MOUTH OPEN AND UPWARD in a FEAR / CAUTION produced GRIN or GRIMMACE! What was happening? I thought. Well, from what I’ve learned, they were in HIGHTENED reaction mode and they were INCREASING the communication between their left and right brain hemispheres with this action, to be READY TO RECEIVE THE INFORMATION and REACT!

Think about the Holiday story ‘The Grinch That Stole Christmas’. Did you notice whenever the Grinch had a clever idea; he PULLED THE CORNERS UP on his face into that GRINCH CLASSIC SMILE! How appropriate! Did you notice how Dr. Evil (Austin Powers), or Vincent Price would LAUGH DIABOLICALLY when they had an EVIL idea? Isn’t it interesting how laughing and smiling would apply to THE CREATION OF AN IDEA – in opening communication between the left and right brain hemispheres?

The health benefits of laughing and smiling are NEUTRAL when it comes to causing many physical, mental, emotional reactions in the body in order for us to develop an idea, deal with fear, deal with stress or express excitement and joy!

I invite you to continue your own research and continue your own observations with how smiling and laughing are used in your own, daily interactions. I invite my workshop attendees to prove me right or wrong by going out and SMILING to see what they observe. I am a natural, nervous laugher and use it to deal with life situations. I have become an AUTOMATIC SMILER.

I now use SMILING before I answer the phone or door. I use smiling to CAUSE me to PAUSE; so I don’t over react, and allow myself time to be OPEN and PROCESS what I am ABOUT TO RECEIVE.

Try it and let me know what you think or observe… you may like it and find it fascinating. Either way, join my smile campaign and see how many points you earn! It makes shopping and other chores go a lot faster; and brings in the FUN!

Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Live Life! Laugh Often! … and SMILE, too!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog can also be found at Vibrant Nation under Blog Circle Name: Helenoflafolot]

I had my second book signing (‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’), last evening. I strategically scheduled it at Lily Cafe’ in the heart of downtown Carlisle, PA (USA) near Dickinson College. Besides college staff and students, the area is very diverse. There is the Army War College as well as people from all cultures and backgrounds. I placed advertising in two different newpapers, information on my website, out on Facebook, distributed fliers around Dickinson Campus and elsewhere. I felt good about this location.

My first book signing was the previous Friday, Easter weekend. I looked at it like a test run for me, since I hadn’t realized the Holiday weekend when I scheduled the advertising. So I was READY FOR THE CROWDS last evening.

Once I set up ‘my space’, a slew of Emergency Response vehicles went flying by the Cafe’! I thought, Deja Vu, since an emergency vehicle had flown by last Friday when I was setting up. I immediately thought the worst. I went to the owner and said: ‘This is like the movie Ground Hog Day! Does this mean I’ll get no interest again, this week? I hope you’re not superstitious!’

Since the book signing was scheduled from 3:00-8:00pm (to allow time for students getting out of classes to stop in), I relaxed at my book signing sofa, watching passers by. I also had my daily meditation magazine with me. I re-read the line that had interested me earlier that day: ‘NEVER LIMIT YOUR VIEW OF LIFE BY ANY PAST EXPERIENCES.’ Ernest Holmes

I had to SMILE, I was EXPECTING the worst based on a previous experience! I then allowed my gaze to fall on the businesses across the street. First business: Emporium CONCEPTS; Second business: … Life Cafe’; Third business: UNIFORMLY Yours

I had to SMILE and LAUGH to myself! Never limit my view from past experiences … here’s a new CONCEPT … (switch the letters in Cafe around and get FACE) Life – FACE it! … it’s UNIFORMLY YOURS … to make of what you will!

So, once again, I was learning my lesson to: ‘See With New Eyes’, ‘Shift my Awareness’, ‘Shift my Perception’, move forward with my thinking in a new direction!

I step away from my book signing area to talk to the owner; and when I return a woman walking in the door stops to look at me. She asks: ‘Are you Helen?’ I respond affirmatively. She gives me her name and I realize she is the wife of a former coworker and friend whom I haven’t seen for about 10 years! OH, THE SYNCRONICITY! They saw my AD in the Carlisle Sentinel and clipped it for the book signing and 20% off Cafe’ dining purchase offer!

SHIFTING my awareness and perception of the event was now starting the Life Experience Dominoes falling in a different direction! I shared with my two friends, all the synchronicity that had been happening up until ‘Muriel’ had walked in the door. Her husband Rich had introduced me to the movie ‘Baghdad Cafe’ way back in the early 1990s. I referenced ‘Baghdad Cafe’ as a comparison to Lily Cafe’ in a blog I wrote a couple weeks ago! I had been thinking about Rich and Muriel and had even moved near their ‘neighborhood’ over 2 years ago!

So, here I am, waiting for folks to show at Lily Cafe’ (Baghdad Cafe’) and they arrive! I end up having a wonderful conversation about my book topic with Muriel as well as an artistic young man who had stopped in with his brother. The young man told me he grew up in a farming family, was expected to stay in the ‘family business’, when in his heart and soul, he knew he was an artist! The conversation was priceless!

When Muriel’s husband Rich arrived, we caught up on 10 years of stuff, discussed the book and they stayed to dine at the Thai Cafe’. Antonio Anacan, the master jazz musician and featured performer, allowed me to sing for Muriel and Rich. They got to dance while I sang and Tony took a break.

I also got the chance to sell my book (way below cost) to a wonderful young couple I had met at the Cafe’ on another occassion. They are always ALL SMILES, having eachother, and a positive outlook; even though life hasn’t graced them with more than limited income. They WANTED to pay for the book, so I talked with Danielle who shyly negotiated the price they could handle. I gave them a couple ‘Life is a Song’ canvas shopping bags, a couple Pinback buttons and they promised they would help me advertise! They were ALL SMILES as they left the Cafe’!

I sold two books! YES! What a priceless evening! I left exhausted and found a UPS package on my doorstep when I arrived at home. I was so tired, I placed all my stuff in the living room and prepared for bed. After I awakened this morning, had a healthy breakfast and started to go through my items left in the living room, I RE-discovered the package. WHAT A SURPRISE!

I start to dig through all the foam peanuts. What did I find? A YELLOW SMILEY SPATULA! I was ALL SMILES! My laughter leader buddy, Barb G. had sent me a SMILE spatula! I read the card, the beautiful note as well as the check donation she sent me for helping with Marketing/Advertising bookmarks. I SMILED even broader, as I felt the WARMTH of HAVING BEEN THOUGHT OF in a kind way!

I laughed when she noted in the card that she knew I didn’t cook, but perhaps I could display it in my kitchen to bring me smiles! I immediately used the chain to hang it on my plant rack at my kitchen window. My cat Buddy, was enjoying the open window, the sun shining in, and the smile spatula! I took a photo.

 
Then, as I continued preparing for a health faire at a local Senior Center, today; I started to find Smiles ALL OVER MY HOME! If you read my blog about having to bring my birdbath into my home; it now reflects rainbows all over my ceiling! I took a photo of the RAINBOW SPOTS smile created by the sun reflecting through the glass votive candles sitting in the water. I went into my living room to find a SHADOW SMILE peaking at me from the Cathedral ceiling; as a result of the sun going through the SMILE SPATULA! I walked out of my home office, looking up to find a WINKING SMILE on my smoke alarm mounted on the wall. I entered my bathroom to find a ‘Pearl Necklace’ SMILE made by having hung the necklace on a bathroom shelf!

I was ALL SMILES! I was SURROUNDED by SMILES! My home was filled with SMILES BY THE MILES!

It’s the THOUGHT that counts – friends from years past THINKING of me and supporting me at my book signing.
New friends, Danielle and David, RICH in love and friendship but not in money, showing me support!
Master Jazz musicians allowing me to share my gift of song with friends while they dance.
A distant laughter / Virtual Buddy thinking of me and sending me a smile; and
ALL THESE SMILES being REFLECTED back at me to warm my home space, heart and soul.

Highlighted Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Live Life! Laugh Often!
Live Life in Amazement!
Share your SMILES by the MILES!
www.lafolot.com

[this blog can also be seen at Vibrant Nation under blog circle name: Helenoflafolot ]

As I was growing up, I had an unwarranted fear of spiders, bees, lightening bugs and just about any other flying or crawling insect. It was frustrating, because I didn’t have as much fun as other kids, due to always running into the house!

If a bee, or other flying or crawling insect was on or near me, and anyone was standing next to me – WHACK! I would involuntarily hit the other person in trying to rescue myself from this small creature.

If I was in a car, it would get dangerous! I would either scream and hit the person next to me, or have to pull to the side of the road and get out of the car.

At age 49, I had a major enlightening moment! This is the time I MOVED FORWARD, took early retirement, started my LAFOLOT business, and developed an appreciation for LIFE in ALL its forms of expression. HA HA HA!

I was now able to sit or stand or just BE next to a spider and admire it.
I was now able to allow a Bee to BE. I could allow a bee to fly around me, walk on me, buzz near my ear, dive into my salad as I sat at my LAFOLOT display table, at an outdoor event. IT WAS A WONDERFUL, NEW FEELING!

I have shared this NEW ME with many others, when I am promoting myself, my business, my book etc. I give others HOPE in achieving the same FREEDOM!

So, last evening was rough. For some reason, my Alpha Male cat ‘Buddy’ was restless. As a result, I couldn’t get to sleep. He kept fussing and whining and wanting attention. I never figured out what was bothering him. When I finally got to sleep, I was AWAKENED at 4:00 or 5:00am by my Omega cat, ‘Fonzie’. Meowing and Meowing and running around to get my attention; wanting his the bathtub spigot turned on, since THAT is the way he insists on having his water!

So, I get up at 8:00am and make my healthy, ENLIGHTENED PERSON, breakfast. I am very exhausted from lack of sleep, but I need to be up since a Handyman is supposed to call and stop by my house to fix some items.

I make my Herbal tea -
Pour my cranberry/pomegranate juice -
Make my Romaine Lettuce Salad with Lite Zesty Italian Dressing – Slivered Almonds, Chopped Apples and Cranberries.

I sit on my sofa with my breakfast items on a side accent table.

I’m enjoying the beautiful sky, the bright shining sun, the birds, my pets FINALLY calming down and resting, Steve Halpern Healing Music CD…

I hold my salad bowl in front of me while sitting on the sofa.
As I finish my salad, put the bowl on the side table; I move to lean forward to get off the sofa:

SCREAM, WHACK!, FALLING BACK ONTO THE SOFA!

WHAT WAS ‘T H A T T H I N G!!!!!’ that plopped onto my lap that I just WHACKED! towards the sliding glass door window – that fell behind the curtain?

My Alpha cat Buddy is now in FROZEN, EMOTIONALLY AWARE, HEIGHTENED SENSES mode – obeying his owner’s reaction!

I start to LAUGH OUT LOUD! I realized I had dropped a cranberry on my shirt as I was eating the salad, and it fell on my lap when I went to get up! When I saw the dark THING my tired brain immediately reacted!

I’m LAUGHING and LAUGHING and LAUGHING! My poor cat Buddy is slowly staling the curtain at the window. I talk to him and let him know IT’S OK! It’s JUST A CRANBERRY!

I continue to laugh, due to FATIGUE, EXHAUSTION AND LACK OF SLEEP as well as JUST LAUGHING AT MYSELF!

I’m thinking – OH YES! ENLIGHTENED ONE! Whacking a cranberry!

So – per the RULES OF ENLIGHTENMENT . . .

repeat Step 1. – Release Ego.

Highlighted – er uh – Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Live Life! Laugh Often! and keep an eye out for killer cranberries!
Live Life in A-Maze-Ment!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog may also be viewed at Vibrant Nation under blog circle name: Helenoflafolot]

I conduct laughter wellness programs and am often complimented on the ‘safe/comfortable’ environment that is created.

I was trained to create a non-perfectionistic, optional participation, non-physically invasive environment. A man shared openly: ‘I really appreciate the guidelines you stated at the beginning of the program, about respecting people’s space!’

I just tried to pick up my Alpha Male cat and give him a hug, he squirmed and jumped away. I respected that he didn’t want interaction at this time; he had just wanted a little recognition and a rub around the ears. I appreciated that he let me know, in a gentle way, his wishes at this time.

In my book, ‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’, I talk about respecting life in ALL its forms of expression. We all have our own wishes and comfort levels when interacting with one another on a daily basis. Watch how animals approach one another. Dogs, cats, birds, insects; they all have a system of approach. They use site, physical movement, and sense of smell to gently approach and ask: ‘Is it OK for me to enter your space?’ They have a way of letting echother know: ‘This is what I am allowing and accepting at this time.’

For example, try hugging a beehive! But, you may say, I LOVE that bee hive!; I want to give it a hug! Well, listen to the agitated buzzing of the bees, observe, sense and LET THE BEES GO!

Try picking up a cat after it has ‘gently’ let you know that it doesn’t want to be held. The signal will get stronger with an open claw or gentle nip of the teeth. Watch an Alpha cat with an Omega cat when the Omega isn’t listening to ‘I don’t want to be bothered at the moment;’ you will hear a quick NYEH! signal sometimes followed by a quick touch of the paw to the pestering Omega cat.

We need to learn from animals, insects. People have this same system of letting one another what they will allow or not allow as far as ‘getting into their space.’ We need to be aware of the subtle signals, that sometimes have to grow to stronger signals.

I am grateful that I got to attend a variety of 12-Step programs as well as one-on-one and group counseling. I loved learning about:

1) Respecting a person’s space
2) Using ‘I’ statements or ‘I feel’ statements when discussing a personal need or wish
3) The word ‘NO’, without an explanation, is acceptable and should be acknowledged and respected.
4) My body is MY personal space and I have a right to allow or not allow permission to enter my personal zone.

I am blessed to have learned these social skills; but the frustration comes from daily interactions where they are not respected.

In my laughter programs, people are told if they don’t want to shake a person’s hand (for whatever reason: cold/flu season for example) they can just keep their hands at their side as an idicator.

Another example is, if a person does not want a hug, they can put their hand forward to indicate a handshake is acceptable. Another suggestion is to ASK. Openly ask a person, ‘would you like a hug?’ If the recipient extends a hand or says, no – then that request needs to be honored. Think again, about the animal and insect kingdoms. Learn from their examples.

I CRINGE when an adult ORDERS or INSTRUCTS a child to: GIVE HER A HUG! What if the child isn’t COMFORTABLE with the adult they are being TOLD to hug? What if the adult they are telling to hug, isn’t comfortable?

Here’s a suggestion: ASK the child IF they would LIKE a hug? Respect the body space of one another.

I recall, as a child, how SCARY or DIFFERENT the adults around me seemed. Just the HEIGHT and EXPRESSIONS could be very scary and intimidating. Children are in the mode of Learning, Experiencing, Discovering the world. I recall being told to ‘Go Say Hello to your Grandfather!’ Now my grandfather was a kind man, but he was big, stocky, dark hair and blurry eyeglasses. I recall being very fearful, taking the quarter he offered and running away. *pfew!

I recall having being dropped off at a woman’s home so I could be safely watched during the day. My mom was a nurse, my dad worked and an older sister was STUCK with the duty of dropping me off to be baby sat. I Screamed and Kicked and Yelled at the doorway, refusing to let go of my sister’s hand. I didn’t want to go into this STRANGE home with the PERSON I didn’t know. I screamed and cried and yelled. I recall sitting at the kitchen table ALL day until I got retrieved by my sister. No matter what the woman did, I sat there with my head down. She was a scary, strange adult. (As I got older, I got to know this kind, smiling woman who ran the library at my school – Marie M.)

Think from the mind of a child. Think from your own mind. Would you want to be pushed to get physically, full body close to a person you weren’t comfortable with?

Because I am so AWARE of respecting my own personal space and other’s personal space, I CRINGE when I go to church and am told ‘IT’S TIME FOR HUGS AND HANDSHAKES!’. With everyone being seated in the pews, there’s no escape!

I have nicknamed this time: INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS! The FULL-BODY INVASIVE huggers start their SLOW – ARMS WIDE OPEN ascent on any body they find! I start to practice all the healthy social skills I’ve been taught.

1) I give a smile and wave! – didn’t work… they’re still approaching!
2) I extend my hand! – didn’t work … they GRAB my hand and PULLLLL me into THEIR ZONE – invading my ZONE!
3) I verbally express – I DON’T WANT A HUG! – didn’t work, they respond: BUT I LIKE HUGS! (I guess I don’t count?)
4) NO turns out to NOT be an acceptable answer! I guess the 12-Step programs and psychologists were wrong after all! I am then PUMPED FOR INFORMATION … “but WHY? but WHY?” – I feel like I’m talking to a 2 year old with the why? why? why?
Then the ultimate: There must be something wrong with you, I’m going to FIX you! YOU WILL SUBMIT, YOU WILL COMPLY!

Ohhhh Noooooo! The body snatchers are going to ASSIMILATE me! Ahhhhhhhhh!

So, ASK if the person wants a handshake or a hug
RESPECT the person’s personal space
ACCEPT the answer
and, maybe – like the LEARNED cats, dogs, bees, birds, etc. You will WIN OVER their trust and respect and they’ll step over the line into your zone, one day and FREELY offer the hug or handshake you have expressed that you like. Just like the Alpha cat that eventually allows the Omega cat into its space. Just like the bee that realizes you aren’t going to harm it.

Let people BE – approach them with ACCEPTANCE and RESPECT of their PERSONAL SPACE.
START with a SMILE
ADD a WAVE and see where it FLOWs.

This has been a Highlighted, Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT moment.
Live Life! Laugh Often!
LIVE and LET LIVE!
Be in AWE of it ALL and Make Life a Song!
www.lafolot.com/books
[this blog can also be seen at VIBRANT NATION under blog circle name: Helenoflafolot]