LAFOLOT

It’s April 18, 2010 and I’m having a SILLY SUNDAY!

The first clue about this Sunday being SILLY and SPECIAL was the fact that BOTH my Alpha female cat ‘Kitty’ and my Alpha male cat, ‘Buddy’ decided it was OK for both to come and sleep on the bed with me at the same time! Is the world coming to an end? What a miracle!

I spent the morning relaxing and listening to the Sunday morning jazz stations ‘mellow music’ show. Ahhhhhhh -
While listening to the music, I opened Facebook and checked on my ‘Life is a Song‘ coupon special, book AD. I was getting ‘clicks’ and all was well. I hone my marketing and advertising skills by making general observations about Facebook activity, so I spent some time doing that.

Then it was time to get out of the house and make use of my A.C. Moore Craft store, fifty percent off coupon, that so diligently gets e-mailed to me every Sunday morning! I’m a VALUED A.C. Moore club card holder, you know! I AM SPECIAL! But first, lunch at Olive Garden! Going out to eat works well for visibility in my marketing and advertising.

I like to park farther out in the parking lot when I make the trip to these two places so I get some exercise. So I treck over to the restaurant which has a 15 minute wait; but that’s okay because I get ‘face time’ and unexpected advertising when I sit in the lobby and wait with the crowd. Marketing marketing marketing! While waiting, we heard ‘CRASH’! I announced: ‘YEAH!’ The one host looked at me. I said: ‘Well, it’s done, why get worked up? Just sweep up the glass! He revealed to me that it is such a common occurrent, when he is waiting on tables and entire trays go crashing to the floor, he doesn’t miss a beat with his order taking!

I had been given one of those beeper disks that is supposed to light up and buzz when it is your turn to be seated. One of the friendly hosts called over to me: ‘Helen, you should have ‘GONE OFF’.” I looked up and laughed! I pulled the device out of my pocket, it wasn’t flashing or buzzing. I respond: ‘Well, I’m in a good mood at the moment, I don’t have any need to GO OFF on anyone!’ (insert smile or laugh here) When I handed it to her, THEN it started it’s commotion! Too late buzzer-lightup thingy, I’m already getting seated!

I got one of the young, handsome, great smile, servers and had a nice lunch. Over the half-wall from the niche where I was seated (containing 3 other tables) was a family with toddlers. You could hear the fun, giggling, and squeels of the kids. A new couple got sat when I was almost finished. At one point, the little girl let out such a squeal of GLEE that it shreeked through the area. I just laughed out loud, because I thought it was fun. The lady across from me winced. My handsome, friendly, great smile server brought me my check along with a ‘Comment Card’. This was new. ‘OOOOOOH! A CHANCE TO WRITE SOMETHING SILLY’, I SAID! He just laughed, not being worried.

I had my daily meditation magazine with me, so I joked I was going to pull a profound quote out of the periodical and write it on the card. I was laughing and chuckling as I wrote on the back: ‘THE OBSTACLE IS THE PATH.” Tao Then I noted he was a friendly server and had a great smile! ha ha ha Enough SILLINESS there, I left and headed over to A.C. Moore Crafts to use my coupon!
woo hoo!

While getting my walking exercise in, returning my periodical to my car so I wouldn’t have to take it into the store; I heard a vibrating, rumbling noise. I looked up. I saw a truck with an appliance in the truck bed, with bubble wrap all around it. The bubble wrap was making a buzzing noise like when you put a baseball card clipped to a bycycle tire spoke as a kid.

I waited for the man to get out of his truck and hollered: ‘Sir! You ought to drive your truck all around more and have some fun with the bubble wrap making that buzzing noise!’ He smiled and laughed, agreeing with me. He said he had heard it and it reminded him of the baseball card bit on bycycle tires, too!

As I got to the A.C. Moore store entrance, a husband was DUTIFULLY leaning against the stone pillar in front of the store. His wife was shopping in the bins outside the store. I called out: ‘Sir! Just keep holding that column up for me while I shop in the store!” He smiled and said he’d do his best!

I got the chance to give a plug for my book, when I went to the checkout! I forgot I was wearing my AD button: ‘LIFE IS A SONG IN THE KEY OF LOVE’ by Helen Marie Szollosy, www.lafolot.com. The cashier was looking at it with a quizzical look on her face.

[an aside: When I was in a woman's clothing store the day before, the sales clerk said, as she prepared a changing room for me: 'Your name's Helen?' 'Yes.' I answered. Wondering how she knew? Then, last evening, I went to an art gallery showing. An artist I was talking to said: 'I know I've seen your name in an e-mail I received recently.' I laughed and said: 'Oh! You're reading my book advertising button!' I forgot my name was on it! Plus, I was thrilled someone had forwarded and e-mail or youtube video of mine to her!]

I said, ‘OH! That advertises my book.’ She was excited, ‘You wrote a book?’ ‘Yes!’ I was thrilled for the opportunity to toot my own horn! It ‘just so happened’ – tee hee – that I had my mini-marketing tools for my book in my purse! I whipped one out and gave it to her; explaining it was about ‘appreciating life in ALL its forms of expression.’ I mentioned it was an autobiographical/philospophical discussion on learned but not felt, bias and prejudice. Her face lit up! She was a caucasian woman and told me her husband is African-American. I let her know that book was about ALL types of bias. I gave her a couple more marketing cards and told her to feel free to pass it on.

She asked if the book was in stores, and I let her know it was self-published, it could be gotten at my website, that I had had a book signing in Carlisle, PA , recently, etc. She thanked me and I left.

When I made my next trip to the grocery store, I got to have more fun. When I got to the dairy section to pick up eggs, an employee had a HUGE cart filled with eggs, as he was stocking the area. I walked around the cart, he was sitting on the floor. I said: ‘I SEE YOU ARE UP TO YOUR ARMS AND LEGS IN EGGS!’ He started to laugh and said: ‘Hey! I like that! That’s egg-actly what I am!’

So, finished with my SILLINESS, I headed home, with a smile and a chuckle.

MAY YOU ENJOY A SILLY DAY IN THE NEAR FUTURE!

Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Live Life! Laugh Often!
and let your silly side out and keep your sunny side up!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog can also be seen at VIBRANT NATION under blog circle name: Helenoflafolot]

A friend of mine sent me this ‘daily inspiration’ message yesterday:

I once spoke to my friend, an old squirrel,
about the Sacraments -
he got so excited
and ran into a hollow in his tree and came
back holding some acorns, an owl feather
and a ribbon he found.
And I just smiled and said, “Yes, dear,
you understand
everything imparts
His grace.” –St. Francis of Assisi

No matter WHERE you get your inspiration or place your beliefs; I have personally observed how animals and insects can teach us wonderful life and spiritual lessons!

This morning I was awakened by my cats to; meow! meow! get up and seize the day! (They don’t speak latin, so it wasn’t Carpe’ Diem!) It was 5:55 when I looked at the clock! I like turning on the patio light so my cats can watch any critters going by the sliding glass doors. I noticed a brown rabbit sitting 10 feet out from the patio. I immediately shut off the light; allowing the rabbit its peace.

As dawn broke and I sat at my office computer, I saw the brown rabbit continued to ‘just sit’ in the grass. I put on my distance glasses (being over 50 and now wearing tri-focals), and noticed it was just BEing. I went about my BUSY-ness, and occassionally noticed the rabbit was still there. I avoided eating my healthy breakfast; being too caught up in wondering why the updates on my computer were taking so long! Again, the rabbit was JUST BEing. I noticed it decided to take a little ‘munch’ out of the grass.

I took the rabbits advice around 6:00 AM and started my healthy breakfast. I sat in my comfy sofa with my accent table containing my healthy breakfast items; and had breakfast while just BEing with the rabbit. When I was done, and continued to sit as the rabbit was, it started to twitch its nose. I realized I was tapping my finger on the sofa in time with the rabbit.

Was the next clue to ‘get moving now’ since I had finished my breakfast? I went back to my computer to see if the updates were completed, so I could access my e-mail; it was now about 7:09 AM. The rabbit stretched its legs by going into a partial sit-up position then went back into resting mode. It took a few more nibbles out of the grass; and at 7:11 AM it hopped off to its right, across the back lawn.

I wished the rabbit a HOPPY day and thanked it for inviting me into its EARLY MORNING RABBITATION (meditation/prayers).

I have a ferrel cat named Fonzie; who was rescued from under a local playhouse, after its mother had been hit by a car. The meows were heard by actors in rehearsal at the theatre. I got Fonzie (so named for his softness and survivor abilities), to be a ‘playmate’ to my Alpha Male cat Buddy. Fonzie wasn’t more than 4 inches long and high, and STOOD UP to Buddy (arching his back) when he first met him. What a brave cat! I thought! Fonzie saw himself BIGGER than his body gave him credit for! (John Maher)

It has taken 4 years, but Fonzie has taught me a lot. Be Brave, Be Cautious, Be Bold and Be a good friend to Alpha characters; you never know when you’ll need their help! Fonzie went from constantly hiding in the closets, under the bed, to finally showing himself. He then went from jumping, running and hiding EVERY time he saw me, to now ALLOWING me to sit near him on the sofa without running away. He now comes to me to ALLOW me to pet him! (ha ha ha) I watch the way he slowly approaches Buddy and then gets groomed and allowed to cuddle with Buddy for a nap. I got to watch how GENTLY Buddy introduced Fonzie into the family. Buddy would gently give ‘fake nips/bites at Fonzie and then follow with gentle licking’. I saw the message he was giving Fonzie, ‘it’s OK, don’t stress, relax’. I saw how he could calm Fonzie with his Alpha Male Cat wisdom and gentleness.

I saw a duck ‘just sitting’ out in our parking lot yesterday. It was raining, and puddles were forming. We RUN from the rain; this duck said ‘bring it on!’ – YES! I’ve got more puddles!

When I’m spending too much time at my computer, my Alpha femal cat ‘Kitty’ jumps up on the desk and insists I pet her. Not only that, she plops down and insists I scratch behind her head and also gently rub her belly. She then, shows me TOTAL TRUST, closes her eyes and goes into a sleep. ‘Enough of that computer!’ she is gently telling me; time to take a break and rest. She has total trust while she allows me to cradle her; since she would surely slip off the desk if I wasn’t supporting her while she rests.

I am grateful for all the creatures and insects that present themselves to me, each day, to teach me life and spiritual lessons.

Allow me to give a SHOUT OUT to the mammal and insect world: Meow! Woof! Buzzz! Rabbit Nose Twitch! Tweet! Chirp! etc.
Thank you for taking the time to allow me to attend your classes. Where can I sign up for the next lesson?

Highlighted Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Living Life in A-Maze-Ment!
Live Life! Laugh Often!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog can also be seen at Vibrant Nation under Blog Circle name: Helenoflafolot]

These are my “personal thoughts and observations” on SMILING.

What I’ve come across in my training and research is that SMILING has many wonderful health benefits. One of them is opening communication between the left and right hemispheres of the brain! A smile naturally UPLIFTS and LIGHTENS not only the face, but the heart, soul, spirit, health, and demeanor of a person!

Before I became a Certified Laughter Leader, WLT; people would pass me and ORDER … SMILE! I would wonder why they were doing this? It instantly made me ‘irritable’, having the opposite effect of the intention of the sender. I would say, ‘What? This is my face, I’m just thinking, what’s wrong?” I have one of those ‘small mouths that naturally turns down’. I would say: ‘This is my God-given face, what’s wrong with it?’

Then, I figured: ‘Well, If they WANT me to walk around with a smile all the time, I will!’ So, whenever I passed someone, I would INSTANTLY put a frozen GRIN on my face, then close it. Some people started to say: ‘WHAT’S WRONG?’ ‘Gheesh! I thought. They’re never happy!’ Some people would say: ‘DO YOU HAVE GAS?’ I couldn’t win! Nothing seemed to make people happy with the look on my face!

So, once I learned more about the mental, spiritual, physical health benefits of smiling, I started an experiment! EVERYONE I met at work, or grocery shopping or at Stop Lights while waiting at a busy intersection got a close-mouthed smile from me. SOMETHING MAGICAL HAPPENED! I started to get automatic, mirrored smiles in return! “Wow! I thought! This is amazing!” I started to make a game of it. If I gave a close-mouthed smile and received an automatic one in return from whomever I was passing, I gave myself ONE POINT! Something MORE MAGICAL started to happen! I realized I not only got a REFLECTED smile back at me; but I would sometimes receive a verbal ‘Hi! or How Are You?’ “WOW! I once again thought, now I’m going to give myself TWO POINTS!

So, I started totalling my points whenever I went out anywhere. I started to notice something even MORE magical! Total strangers would be walking with their head down, look up, see my closed-mouth smile, and 1) Smile Back at Me 2) Say Hello, and ask how I was doing, 3) START TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH ME! Besides the previous three reactions, I would VISIBLY NOTICE 1) Their posture got taller, 2) Their face lit up, and 3) They were still smiling when they passed me!

I went from: Irritible, to Faking a Smile, to Experimenting and Playing a Game with Receiving a Smile to, seeing the VISIBLE WARMTH and ENLIGHTENMENT that was produced by acknowledging a person with a look and smile!

I started to get a warm, fuzzy feeling and couldn’t wait to go out and share smiles! I started to call this my: HA HA HELEN’S SMILE CAMPAIGN and posted it on my website! I made buttons that read: ‘I JOINED HA HA HELEN’S SMILE CAMPAIGN!’ I started to incorporate the observations and experiment in my: ‘Laughter? Let’s Get Serious!’ talks and programs!

I started to notice more and more, how our bodies NATURALLY use SMILING and LAUGHING as natural responses to:

HAPPINESS
EXCITEMENT ABOUT LEARNING and DISCOVERING
FEAR
HESITATION, etc.

For example, watch a baby when it first smiles or giggles; they don’t understand language but they smile and giggle with EXCITEMENT at NEW things seen or NEW self-discoveries. I started to realize; if smiling opens communication between the left and right brain hemispheres, then this act of a baby must be helping the child to learn, about these new discoveries!

I met a young girl in a Sunday School class who talked to me about a fear of riding a roller coaster, but her friends were insisting. In relaying the story, she sucked in her breath to show me hesitation and fear; made a frozen grimmace or grin, released the sucked in breath, letting all the air out and released the frozen grin or grimmace. I WAS AMAZED as I OBSERVED this! The girl was using NATURAL body functions of DEEP BREATHING, pulling the mouth back and up to OPEN THE MIND AND RECEIVE and then RELEASE THE FEAR!

I started to realize another action when a person is entering a SCARY situation in a horror movie. I noticed they would walk low, stealthily and PULL THEIR MOUTH OPEN AND UPWARD in a FEAR / CAUTION produced GRIN or GRIMMACE! What was happening? I thought. Well, from what I’ve learned, they were in HIGHTENED reaction mode and they were INCREASING the communication between their left and right brain hemispheres with this action, to be READY TO RECEIVE THE INFORMATION and REACT!

Think about the Holiday story ‘The Grinch That Stole Christmas’. Did you notice whenever the Grinch had a clever idea; he PULLED THE CORNERS UP on his face into that GRINCH CLASSIC SMILE! How appropriate! Did you notice how Dr. Evil (Austin Powers), or Vincent Price would LAUGH DIABOLICALLY when they had an EVIL idea? Isn’t it interesting how laughing and smiling would apply to THE CREATION OF AN IDEA – in opening communication between the left and right brain hemispheres?

The health benefits of laughing and smiling are NEUTRAL when it comes to causing many physical, mental, emotional reactions in the body in order for us to develop an idea, deal with fear, deal with stress or express excitement and joy!

I invite you to continue your own research and continue your own observations with how smiling and laughing are used in your own, daily interactions. I invite my workshop attendees to prove me right or wrong by going out and SMILING to see what they observe. I am a natural, nervous laugher and use it to deal with life situations. I have become an AUTOMATIC SMILER.

I now use SMILING before I answer the phone or door. I use smiling to CAUSE me to PAUSE; so I don’t over react, and allow myself time to be OPEN and PROCESS what I am ABOUT TO RECEIVE.

Try it and let me know what you think or observe… you may like it and find it fascinating. Either way, join my smile campaign and see how many points you earn! It makes shopping and other chores go a lot faster; and brings in the FUN!

Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Live Life! Laugh Often! … and SMILE, too!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog can also be found at Vibrant Nation under Blog Circle Name: Helenoflafolot]

I had my second book signing (‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’), last evening. I strategically scheduled it at Lily Cafe’ in the heart of downtown Carlisle, PA (USA) near Dickinson College. Besides college staff and students, the area is very diverse. There is the Army War College as well as people from all cultures and backgrounds. I placed advertising in two different newpapers, information on my website, out on Facebook, distributed fliers around Dickinson Campus and elsewhere. I felt good about this location.

My first book signing was the previous Friday, Easter weekend. I looked at it like a test run for me, since I hadn’t realized the Holiday weekend when I scheduled the advertising. So I was READY FOR THE CROWDS last evening.

Once I set up ‘my space’, a slew of Emergency Response vehicles went flying by the Cafe’! I thought, Deja Vu, since an emergency vehicle had flown by last Friday when I was setting up. I immediately thought the worst. I went to the owner and said: ‘This is like the movie Ground Hog Day! Does this mean I’ll get no interest again, this week? I hope you’re not superstitious!’

Since the book signing was scheduled from 3:00-8:00pm (to allow time for students getting out of classes to stop in), I relaxed at my book signing sofa, watching passers by. I also had my daily meditation magazine with me. I re-read the line that had interested me earlier that day: ‘NEVER LIMIT YOUR VIEW OF LIFE BY ANY PAST EXPERIENCES.’ Ernest Holmes

I had to SMILE, I was EXPECTING the worst based on a previous experience! I then allowed my gaze to fall on the businesses across the street. First business: Emporium CONCEPTS; Second business: … Life Cafe’; Third business: UNIFORMLY Yours

I had to SMILE and LAUGH to myself! Never limit my view from past experiences … here’s a new CONCEPT … (switch the letters in Cafe around and get FACE) Life – FACE it! … it’s UNIFORMLY YOURS … to make of what you will!

So, once again, I was learning my lesson to: ‘See With New Eyes’, ‘Shift my Awareness’, ‘Shift my Perception’, move forward with my thinking in a new direction!

I step away from my book signing area to talk to the owner; and when I return a woman walking in the door stops to look at me. She asks: ‘Are you Helen?’ I respond affirmatively. She gives me her name and I realize she is the wife of a former coworker and friend whom I haven’t seen for about 10 years! OH, THE SYNCRONICITY! They saw my AD in the Carlisle Sentinel and clipped it for the book signing and 20% off Cafe’ dining purchase offer!

SHIFTING my awareness and perception of the event was now starting the Life Experience Dominoes falling in a different direction! I shared with my two friends, all the synchronicity that had been happening up until ‘Muriel’ had walked in the door. Her husband Rich had introduced me to the movie ‘Baghdad Cafe’ way back in the early 1990s. I referenced ‘Baghdad Cafe’ as a comparison to Lily Cafe’ in a blog I wrote a couple weeks ago! I had been thinking about Rich and Muriel and had even moved near their ‘neighborhood’ over 2 years ago!

So, here I am, waiting for folks to show at Lily Cafe’ (Baghdad Cafe’) and they arrive! I end up having a wonderful conversation about my book topic with Muriel as well as an artistic young man who had stopped in with his brother. The young man told me he grew up in a farming family, was expected to stay in the ‘family business’, when in his heart and soul, he knew he was an artist! The conversation was priceless!

When Muriel’s husband Rich arrived, we caught up on 10 years of stuff, discussed the book and they stayed to dine at the Thai Cafe’. Antonio Anacan, the master jazz musician and featured performer, allowed me to sing for Muriel and Rich. They got to dance while I sang and Tony took a break.

I also got the chance to sell my book (way below cost) to a wonderful young couple I had met at the Cafe’ on another occassion. They are always ALL SMILES, having eachother, and a positive outlook; even though life hasn’t graced them with more than limited income. They WANTED to pay for the book, so I talked with Danielle who shyly negotiated the price they could handle. I gave them a couple ‘Life is a Song’ canvas shopping bags, a couple Pinback buttons and they promised they would help me advertise! They were ALL SMILES as they left the Cafe’!

I sold two books! YES! What a priceless evening! I left exhausted and found a UPS package on my doorstep when I arrived at home. I was so tired, I placed all my stuff in the living room and prepared for bed. After I awakened this morning, had a healthy breakfast and started to go through my items left in the living room, I RE-discovered the package. WHAT A SURPRISE!

I start to dig through all the foam peanuts. What did I find? A YELLOW SMILEY SPATULA! I was ALL SMILES! My laughter leader buddy, Barb G. had sent me a SMILE spatula! I read the card, the beautiful note as well as the check donation she sent me for helping with Marketing/Advertising bookmarks. I SMILED even broader, as I felt the WARMTH of HAVING BEEN THOUGHT OF in a kind way!

I laughed when she noted in the card that she knew I didn’t cook, but perhaps I could display it in my kitchen to bring me smiles! I immediately used the chain to hang it on my plant rack at my kitchen window. My cat Buddy, was enjoying the open window, the sun shining in, and the smile spatula! I took a photo.

 
Then, as I continued preparing for a health faire at a local Senior Center, today; I started to find Smiles ALL OVER MY HOME! If you read my blog about having to bring my birdbath into my home; it now reflects rainbows all over my ceiling! I took a photo of the RAINBOW SPOTS smile created by the sun reflecting through the glass votive candles sitting in the water. I went into my living room to find a SHADOW SMILE peaking at me from the Cathedral ceiling; as a result of the sun going through the SMILE SPATULA! I walked out of my home office, looking up to find a WINKING SMILE on my smoke alarm mounted on the wall. I entered my bathroom to find a ‘Pearl Necklace’ SMILE made by having hung the necklace on a bathroom shelf!

I was ALL SMILES! I was SURROUNDED by SMILES! My home was filled with SMILES BY THE MILES!

It’s the THOUGHT that counts – friends from years past THINKING of me and supporting me at my book signing.
New friends, Danielle and David, RICH in love and friendship but not in money, showing me support!
Master Jazz musicians allowing me to share my gift of song with friends while they dance.
A distant laughter / Virtual Buddy thinking of me and sending me a smile; and
ALL THESE SMILES being REFLECTED back at me to warm my home space, heart and soul.

Highlighted Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Live Life! Laugh Often!
Live Life in Amazement!
Share your SMILES by the MILES!
www.lafolot.com

[this blog can also be seen at Vibrant Nation under blog circle name: Helenoflafolot ]

As I was growing up, I had an unwarranted fear of spiders, bees, lightening bugs and just about any other flying or crawling insect. It was frustrating, because I didn’t have as much fun as other kids, due to always running into the house!

If a bee, or other flying or crawling insect was on or near me, and anyone was standing next to me – WHACK! I would involuntarily hit the other person in trying to rescue myself from this small creature.

If I was in a car, it would get dangerous! I would either scream and hit the person next to me, or have to pull to the side of the road and get out of the car.

At age 49, I had a major enlightening moment! This is the time I MOVED FORWARD, took early retirement, started my LAFOLOT business, and developed an appreciation for LIFE in ALL its forms of expression. HA HA HA!

I was now able to sit or stand or just BE next to a spider and admire it.
I was now able to allow a Bee to BE. I could allow a bee to fly around me, walk on me, buzz near my ear, dive into my salad as I sat at my LAFOLOT display table, at an outdoor event. IT WAS A WONDERFUL, NEW FEELING!

I have shared this NEW ME with many others, when I am promoting myself, my business, my book etc. I give others HOPE in achieving the same FREEDOM!

So, last evening was rough. For some reason, my Alpha Male cat ‘Buddy’ was restless. As a result, I couldn’t get to sleep. He kept fussing and whining and wanting attention. I never figured out what was bothering him. When I finally got to sleep, I was AWAKENED at 4:00 or 5:00am by my Omega cat, ‘Fonzie’. Meowing and Meowing and running around to get my attention; wanting his the bathtub spigot turned on, since THAT is the way he insists on having his water!

So, I get up at 8:00am and make my healthy, ENLIGHTENED PERSON, breakfast. I am very exhausted from lack of sleep, but I need to be up since a Handyman is supposed to call and stop by my house to fix some items.

I make my Herbal tea -
Pour my cranberry/pomegranate juice -
Make my Romaine Lettuce Salad with Lite Zesty Italian Dressing – Slivered Almonds, Chopped Apples and Cranberries.

I sit on my sofa with my breakfast items on a side accent table.

I’m enjoying the beautiful sky, the bright shining sun, the birds, my pets FINALLY calming down and resting, Steve Halpern Healing Music CD…

I hold my salad bowl in front of me while sitting on the sofa.
As I finish my salad, put the bowl on the side table; I move to lean forward to get off the sofa:

SCREAM, WHACK!, FALLING BACK ONTO THE SOFA!

WHAT WAS ‘T H A T T H I N G!!!!!’ that plopped onto my lap that I just WHACKED! towards the sliding glass door window – that fell behind the curtain?

My Alpha cat Buddy is now in FROZEN, EMOTIONALLY AWARE, HEIGHTENED SENSES mode – obeying his owner’s reaction!

I start to LAUGH OUT LOUD! I realized I had dropped a cranberry on my shirt as I was eating the salad, and it fell on my lap when I went to get up! When I saw the dark THING my tired brain immediately reacted!

I’m LAUGHING and LAUGHING and LAUGHING! My poor cat Buddy is slowly staling the curtain at the window. I talk to him and let him know IT’S OK! It’s JUST A CRANBERRY!

I continue to laugh, due to FATIGUE, EXHAUSTION AND LACK OF SLEEP as well as JUST LAUGHING AT MYSELF!

I’m thinking – OH YES! ENLIGHTENED ONE! Whacking a cranberry!

So – per the RULES OF ENLIGHTENMENT . . .

repeat Step 1. – Release Ego.

Highlighted – er uh – Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Live Life! Laugh Often! and keep an eye out for killer cranberries!
Live Life in A-Maze-Ment!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog may also be viewed at Vibrant Nation under blog circle name: Helenoflafolot]

I conduct laughter wellness programs and am often complimented on the ‘safe/comfortable’ environment that is created.

I was trained to create a non-perfectionistic, optional participation, non-physically invasive environment. A man shared openly: ‘I really appreciate the guidelines you stated at the beginning of the program, about respecting people’s space!’

I just tried to pick up my Alpha Male cat and give him a hug, he squirmed and jumped away. I respected that he didn’t want interaction at this time; he had just wanted a little recognition and a rub around the ears. I appreciated that he let me know, in a gentle way, his wishes at this time.

In my book, ‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’, I talk about respecting life in ALL its forms of expression. We all have our own wishes and comfort levels when interacting with one another on a daily basis. Watch how animals approach one another. Dogs, cats, birds, insects; they all have a system of approach. They use site, physical movement, and sense of smell to gently approach and ask: ‘Is it OK for me to enter your space?’ They have a way of letting echother know: ‘This is what I am allowing and accepting at this time.’

For example, try hugging a beehive! But, you may say, I LOVE that bee hive!; I want to give it a hug! Well, listen to the agitated buzzing of the bees, observe, sense and LET THE BEES GO!

Try picking up a cat after it has ‘gently’ let you know that it doesn’t want to be held. The signal will get stronger with an open claw or gentle nip of the teeth. Watch an Alpha cat with an Omega cat when the Omega isn’t listening to ‘I don’t want to be bothered at the moment;’ you will hear a quick NYEH! signal sometimes followed by a quick touch of the paw to the pestering Omega cat.

We need to learn from animals, insects. People have this same system of letting one another what they will allow or not allow as far as ‘getting into their space.’ We need to be aware of the subtle signals, that sometimes have to grow to stronger signals.

I am grateful that I got to attend a variety of 12-Step programs as well as one-on-one and group counseling. I loved learning about:

1) Respecting a person’s space
2) Using ‘I’ statements or ‘I feel’ statements when discussing a personal need or wish
3) The word ‘NO’, without an explanation, is acceptable and should be acknowledged and respected.
4) My body is MY personal space and I have a right to allow or not allow permission to enter my personal zone.

I am blessed to have learned these social skills; but the frustration comes from daily interactions where they are not respected.

In my laughter programs, people are told if they don’t want to shake a person’s hand (for whatever reason: cold/flu season for example) they can just keep their hands at their side as an idicator.

Another example is, if a person does not want a hug, they can put their hand forward to indicate a handshake is acceptable. Another suggestion is to ASK. Openly ask a person, ‘would you like a hug?’ If the recipient extends a hand or says, no – then that request needs to be honored. Think again, about the animal and insect kingdoms. Learn from their examples.

I CRINGE when an adult ORDERS or INSTRUCTS a child to: GIVE HER A HUG! What if the child isn’t COMFORTABLE with the adult they are being TOLD to hug? What if the adult they are telling to hug, isn’t comfortable?

Here’s a suggestion: ASK the child IF they would LIKE a hug? Respect the body space of one another.

I recall, as a child, how SCARY or DIFFERENT the adults around me seemed. Just the HEIGHT and EXPRESSIONS could be very scary and intimidating. Children are in the mode of Learning, Experiencing, Discovering the world. I recall being told to ‘Go Say Hello to your Grandfather!’ Now my grandfather was a kind man, but he was big, stocky, dark hair and blurry eyeglasses. I recall being very fearful, taking the quarter he offered and running away. *pfew!

I recall having being dropped off at a woman’s home so I could be safely watched during the day. My mom was a nurse, my dad worked and an older sister was STUCK with the duty of dropping me off to be baby sat. I Screamed and Kicked and Yelled at the doorway, refusing to let go of my sister’s hand. I didn’t want to go into this STRANGE home with the PERSON I didn’t know. I screamed and cried and yelled. I recall sitting at the kitchen table ALL day until I got retrieved by my sister. No matter what the woman did, I sat there with my head down. She was a scary, strange adult. (As I got older, I got to know this kind, smiling woman who ran the library at my school – Marie M.)

Think from the mind of a child. Think from your own mind. Would you want to be pushed to get physically, full body close to a person you weren’t comfortable with?

Because I am so AWARE of respecting my own personal space and other’s personal space, I CRINGE when I go to church and am told ‘IT’S TIME FOR HUGS AND HANDSHAKES!’. With everyone being seated in the pews, there’s no escape!

I have nicknamed this time: INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS! The FULL-BODY INVASIVE huggers start their SLOW – ARMS WIDE OPEN ascent on any body they find! I start to practice all the healthy social skills I’ve been taught.

1) I give a smile and wave! – didn’t work… they’re still approaching!
2) I extend my hand! – didn’t work … they GRAB my hand and PULLLLL me into THEIR ZONE – invading my ZONE!
3) I verbally express – I DON’T WANT A HUG! – didn’t work, they respond: BUT I LIKE HUGS! (I guess I don’t count?)
4) NO turns out to NOT be an acceptable answer! I guess the 12-Step programs and psychologists were wrong after all! I am then PUMPED FOR INFORMATION … “but WHY? but WHY?” – I feel like I’m talking to a 2 year old with the why? why? why?
Then the ultimate: There must be something wrong with you, I’m going to FIX you! YOU WILL SUBMIT, YOU WILL COMPLY!

Ohhhh Noooooo! The body snatchers are going to ASSIMILATE me! Ahhhhhhhhh!

So, ASK if the person wants a handshake or a hug
RESPECT the person’s personal space
ACCEPT the answer
and, maybe – like the LEARNED cats, dogs, bees, birds, etc. You will WIN OVER their trust and respect and they’ll step over the line into your zone, one day and FREELY offer the hug or handshake you have expressed that you like. Just like the Alpha cat that eventually allows the Omega cat into its space. Just like the bee that realizes you aren’t going to harm it.

Let people BE – approach them with ACCEPTANCE and RESPECT of their PERSONAL SPACE.
START with a SMILE
ADD a WAVE and see where it FLOWs.

This has been a Highlighted, Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT moment.
Live Life! Laugh Often!
LIVE and LET LIVE!
Be in AWE of it ALL and Make Life a Song!
www.lafolot.com/books
[this blog can also be seen at VIBRANT NATION under blog circle name: Helenoflafolot]

This is not a whiny blog about pity me childhood stuff; but a discussion on personal-awareness of views placed on new lives/souls being born into this world. ‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’ – be in AWE of it all, respect life in all its forms of expression; and make life a song!

Labels I’ve heard:

Your head is BIG! – You can’t wear your hair short – Your eyes are too close set. [I felt bad about my looks.]
You’re big boned – you wear a size X. [When I see my childhood photos, I look very thin?]
You have a Wide foot, D-width. [I picked clunky, boring shoes.]
You don’t want to dress like those snobby girls. [when given the chance to pick a flower print or plain-striped dress - I chose the plain-striped dress - which I really disliked.]
Oh! You got placed in those honors classes – that’s where all the snobby kids are. [As a result, I asked to be placed in the next lower level, so I wouldn't be seen as snobby - rather than challenging my mind.]
You’re too quiet, cat got your tongue? [as a result, I talked less!]

I CRINGE when I hear new parents tell me:
My child or my grandchild is in the Such-and-Such National Percentile.
The ‘Doctor’ says he/she is TOO short, TOO tall, TOO small etc COMPARED TO other children at that age.

I hear these labels announced loudly and clearly in FRONT OF toddlers (I remember comments made about me at age 4!)

I understand the need to be aware of certain physical and mental development issues in order to provide treatment or education at an early age, where it is available; to improve the quality of life.

At WHAT point do we let the child know: YOU’RE OKAY JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!

When we keep hearing, as children, everything that is WRONG with us; that we don’t fit the NORM – our self-esteem goes crashing into the ground or never gets developed.

Someone sent me an e-mail of groups of people from all over the world. I think it had to do with wealth. What I noticed. The people I was taught appeared to be poorest and lacking; HAD THE BIGGEST SMILES AND BRIGHTEST LIGHT in their eyes!

I am not saying to not get your teeth straightened or eyes or hearing corrected, or anything else that may improve the quality of your life! Good hygiene makes for a happier, healthier life. Just don’t do this because you want to FIT IN with the NORM, the AVERAGE.

I went to a hairstylist about 10 years ago and said: ‘I was told I can’t wear my hair short with my ears cut out; because my head is big and my ears are too big.’ She said: ‘I don’t think that’s true at all, let’s try it.’ Well, check out my photo on my website, I think she was right! My head is just PERFECT as well as my ears!

DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY and tell a beautiful new soul that’s recently arrived in this world; YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL, YOU’RE PERFECT – JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! Children observe, hear and hold onto what they are told from a very early age – fill them with thoughtful words not of judgement, but of acceptance. Share this philosophy with their siblings. Compliment them on their uniqueness, and perhaps we’ll start growing some healthy, self-loved teens and adults.

There’s no need for a world of clones. I’m 5 feet 2 inches; when I go grocery shopping, I openly ask anyone taller than me for help with reaching items on the top shelves. After the kindness is done for me, I tell them to come and get me if they need anything from the lower grocery shelves, since I don’t have to reach down as far!

VARIETY is the SPICE of Life! Don’t LABEL and JUDGE rather APPRECIATE the DIVERSITY! This allows us to be of more HELP to one another, due to our differences in mental, physical, and emotional ability.

There’s a story of the difference between heaven and hell. Hell is a bunch of people with very long arms with spoons as hands, all sitting around a bowl of soup, starving; because they can’t put the soup in their mouths due to the long arms.

Heaven is a bunch of people with very long arms with spoons as hands, all sitting around a bowl of soup, healthy and happy; because they are feeding one another.

Let’s feed one another with appreciation, acceptance, tolerance, respect and Make Life a Song!

Highlighted Helen of LAFOLOT
Live life in a-MAZE-ment!
Make Life a Song!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog may also be read at Vibrant Nation under Blog Circle name: Helenoflafolot]

Allow me to introduce a character I created called: Bea Gaude’ (pronounced Gaw-day), Fashion Consultant.
Bea was created when Ha Ha Helen was invited to a Halloween party and she didn’t have a costume. Helen threw together mismatched items from her closet, put on cat glasses, created business cards went to the party. Bea was a big hit!

Perhaps it was her floral print skirt, with her plaid jacket and woven tapestry print purse. Either way, Bea came to BE!

Bea is PURE PERFECTION!

What IS perfect, anyway? Bea is here, in my latest video blog, to set you on the path to BEing the YOU, you were meant to be.

If someone approaches and tells you, ‘You Don’t Fit In!’ respond: THANK YOU!

Be a trend setter, be yourself! P-E-R-F-E-C-T, perfect is what it means to ME, says BEA!

If needed, copy and paste this web link: http://www.youtube.com/Helenoflafolot#p/a/u/0/SRmvc6RtxoY
Otherwise, just click HERE to watch it!

BE with BEA and BE FREE…
“STAY SWEET!” Mary C. [one empowered business woman of integrity with a free spirit!]

Ha Ha Helen of LAFOLOT
Live Life! Laugh Often!
Living Life in a-MAZE-ment!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog can also be seen at Vibrant Nation under Blog Circle name: Helenoflafolot ]

There was a movie years ago called Bagdad Cafe’. It was about a Diner in the middle of nowhere; found by folks traveling coast to coast in the U.S. The variety of Bohemian characters in the movie is amazing! It is definitely worth watching!

Well, I recently discovered my own little ‘Baghdad Cafe’ known as Lily Cafe’ in Carlisle, Pennsylvania (USA). I know the Lao owner whose family has had Thai restaurants in the area for over 10 years. They GOT ME with the first Red Curry, Number 10 spicy dish, I ordered! I’ve geen going back, frequently, ever since!

I wrote a book called: ‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’ or Growing Up with the Embarrassment of Prejudice. It has to do with becoming aware of learned/inherited bias/prejudice that isn’t personally felt. It is an autobiographical/philosophical discussion, encouraging society to open communication on the topic. The book discusses appreciating life in ALL its forms of expression; comparing it to the beautiful sounds made from the complexity of sheetmusic. It was inspired by a 1930s song by Joe Ahlert called: Life is a Song. The key line of inspiration being: “Let’s take our hearts and dip them in rhyme …. make life a song!”

Well, I’ve recently gotten bold and set up my own book signing at the Lily Cafe’. I chose this location because of it sitting in the middle of the Dickinson College campus of Carlisle, PA; as well as its BAGHDAD CAFE’ nature!

For example, I arrived last evening to place my book signing poster in the window as well as some flyers around the cafe’. As is the norm, Antonia Anaban (master jazz musician) was playing his beautiful, background music to set the mood. Antonio is of Phillipine background, having grown up in Hawaii. He learned his craft from his talented father. His family made the commitment to move to the Carlisle PA area so the sons could be involved with the Central Pennsylvania Ballet.

One evening, a free-spirited college student stopped in to pick up his take-out order. Within 10 minutes, the student had given Tony three chords to play and the ‘talented bohemian soul’ was just spilling out original lyrics, in rhythm and rhyme to Tony’s chords!

Last evening, I met ‘Larry’; that’s his American name. Larry is of Spanish/Cuban background. His father from Spain and mother from Cuba. Larry was providing security guard services to the cafe’ while it was closed for a few days. Larry being another beautiful, free, bohemian spirit was sitting at one of the tables. Tony sat across from him and casual conversation started between us. We discussed the proper pronunciation of Larry’s first and last names. Don’t ask me, I struggled a bit but made the effort!

Next thing you know, Tony is playing a Spanish love song and Larry’s beautiful vocals are accompanying Tony! Since I had my camcorder, I got their permission to record the wonderful, impromptu moment! It can be seen out on my You Tube Channel: www.youtube.com/Helenoflafolot

After a bit, another ‘tall, dark and handsome’ gentleman arrived. He now sat across from Larry, as Tony had taken the small stage area to start ‘officially’ serading the customers, which hadn’t yet arrived. Talk about Baghdad Cafe’!

Being Hungarian myself, Tony revealed that the newest bohemian character in the cafe’ was also Hungarian! Tony has his own, modern rendition of a Hungarian tune that he likes to play for me. He started to play it for (who I found out later, was) Mike.

In talking to ‘Mike’ he revealed that his sister was none other than: ‘Angel’ Wallenda! (a.k.a. Elizabeth Pentya)
Angel met and married Steve Wallenda in New York, went on to join the family’s high wire acts. Angel had to have her leg amputated due to cancer. But, Angel STILL did the high wire acts with the artificial leg! What a woman! Angel only lived to be 28, with the cancer eventually taking over. But, I feel Angel lived a FULL life! What a woman! Mike mentioned that there was information about his sister on the internet. He was proud that she had had an article written about her in Reader’s Digest magazine! What a famous, admired woman for having lived only 28 years. I’d say she lived her life to the fullest! Mike got to be a part of the Wallenda family act as an announcer as well as ‘clowning!’.

My life has had much synchronicity lately. Last Sunday, I presented my talk ‘Seeing With New Eyes’ at a Women’s Conference. I talked about seeing life as a gift no matter what. I talked about my childhood experiences now being seen as the gifts that made me into the empowered woman I am, today! THE IRONY! I was reading about Angel Wallenda on the internet. One of her quotes noted that ‘if she hadn’t gone through the struggles she had as a child, she wouldn’t have been able to handle her challenge with the cancer and leg amputation.’ [to share a similar thought last Sunday and then hear it reaffirmed through an encounter with her brother BOGGLED MY MIND!]

Angel was also quoted as saying that she was thrilled that people not only admired and looked up to her with her highwire act skills, wearing an artificial leg; but that they admired her for her strength and courage in fighting her cancer! What a woman! WOW!

So, what were the odds that I would give that talk last Sunday, then meet the brother of a woman who overcame childhood abuse by her father, being taken in and out of her home and placed in and out of foster homes, only to become the dynamic woman she was! WHAT A MENTOR!

Talk about Baghdad Cafe a.k.a. Lily Cafe’. There I sat in the presence of Larry, Antonio, and Mike being humbled and feeling perfectly at home – in that Bohemian, Beautiful atmosphere filled with such amazing individuals!

LIVE LIFE! LAUGH OFTEN!
LIVE LIFE IN A-MAZE-MENT!
Highlighted Ha Ha Helen of LAFOLOT
www.lafolot.com
[this blog post can also be seen at Vibrant Nation via Blog Circle name: Helenoflafolot]

Coming from a background of social awkwardness; to learning how to socialize in a healthy way through 12 Step Programs and counseling; evolving into a strong, independent, self-assured, motivational speaker, business owner, etc. – I was thrilled, when I offered one of my ‘marketing stress reliever pinwheels’ to a woman and she chose to say ‘no’.

Not that it matters, she appeared to be from mid-Eastern background. Being a 3rd generation Hungarian-American, I can understand cultural guidelines.

So, when she responded ‘no’, I smiled – withdrew the offer. I said, ‘I’m a laughter yoga’ instructor – I use these to teach people how to take a deep breath and release it – while having fun with the pinwheel.’ I said, ‘It’s actually not a toy.’ She smiled.

I went to pay my bill, the woman’s food was ready. She saw me laughing and joking with the owner, since I know them well. She looked to me and ‘APOLOGIZED!’ I said: ‘Oh No! It’s quite alright to say ‘no’!’ It’s a very HEALTHY thing to do! [I learned that 'no' is an okay announce, and NO explanation is needed as a follow-up!]
I’m glad you felt comfortable telling me ‘no’. She smiled and thanked me. I said: ‘There is NO GUILT involved in not accepting an offer from me!’ She laughed!

So, KUDOS, to this wonderful, self-assured woman who felt comfortable in responding with a ‘healthy no’ – with no explanation, needed.

HOORAY!
Ha Ha Helen of LAFOLOT
WWW.LAFOLOT.COM