LAFOLOT

We experience,
We create,
We Teach, and
We Share
Prejudice and Intolerance.
We have the power to:
Overcome the experience,
Relook at the experience,
Educate ourselves, and
Share what we’ve learned
about overcoming
prejudice and intolerance
to
MAKE LIFE A SONG!
By: Helen Marie Szollosy

BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF BOOK

Life Is A Song in the Key of Love was a book conceived over 8 years ago, while writing a list of goals during a New Year’s Day workshop. The original title that came to mind was, ‘Growing Up with the Embarrassment of Prejudice.’ Much research was completed, but the book was never started due to it appearing negative, and possibly harmful to those involved in the scenarios presented.

It is meant to be an autobiographical, philosophical discussion on personal experiences relating to intolerance, prejudice, labeling and sterotyping as seen from the author’s childhood, onward. It is meant to show how we may not feel the hate, prejudice and intolerance, but we learn it in a state of being unaware.

Then, in the year 2008, the author realized a song she had learned while developing her singing voice could take the book in a positive direction! Excitedly, the author dove into completing the book in relation to paralleling moving away from prejudice and intolerance by looking at Life As A Song!

It is hoped that this book may be used to cause people to search within for any intolerance and prejudice and aid in open discussions to help the world heal from hate, prejudice and hurt. In appreciation of Joe Young, who wrote these beautiful words: “Life is a song, let’s sing it together, let’s take our hearts, and dip them in rhyme.”

Special Note: Make the world a better place; join my smile campaign. See how many people of all beliefs, backgrounds, etc. you can make smile, just by looking in their direction, and GIVING them a smile. It’s free and it brightens someone’s day,
you can’t beat that! It also opens you to meeting some really interesting people. You never know what you’ll learn! Helen

Ha Ha Helen reporting in (as I recuperate from an intestinal virus)…. ugh!

Luckily, I come from a family of 7 children whose mother was a nurse. As a result, I learned a lot about home remedies and caring for myself when I’m under the weather.

After almost 24 hours of only lemon-water, tea with honey and lemon, or a little juice; I started to get my energy back this morning. I ventured out of my house with the intention of picking up Pepto-Bismol, as well as cup-of-soup packets and melba toast. I intended to run in and run out of the grocery store, because I was ‘still’ a bit dependent on the bathroom!

I headed straight for the aisle witht he Pepto Bismol, got the other items. Then, I remembered I needed one last item, an emergency Cat Litter purchase! As I quickly made my left into the Pet Aisle; there was a cart blocking the overstocked aisle. There was an senior woman looking intently at one shelf.

I announced, appropriately, so as to get by: BEEP! BEEP! Oh, C’mon – s’cuse me is so much more boring! She turned to me and smiled, laughing as she moved her cart saying: “Ha, I just asked someone earlier if I was in THEIR way!” Then, she made some comment about what a chore it was grocery shopping.

Then, she mentioned having a coupon for a specific type of energy saving lightbulb, but she couldn’t find the item. I saw a store clerk stocking shelves half-way up the aisle. I suggested she might want to ask the clerk. She thanked me pointing out the clerk; and I started to move up the aisle. Then, I thought, I know how to cheer her up! I stopped – pulled out one of my LAFOLOT Smile Face with Positive Message bookmarks, handed it to her and said: ‘Here, would you like a bookmark?’ She had a hearing aid in both ears, so I had to repeat it louder.

Her face lit up! She exclaimed, this is great and I read a lot, too! Then she asked me what it was I did? I told her I teach Laughter Wellness. She thought that was great!

Then, she began to tell me ALL ABOUT HER LIFE! She referred to herself in the first person, at one point, so I knew her name was Jane. She was going to be turning 90 in a month, she became a nurse in 1941 and worked at our local State Mental Health hospital most of her life, she had wanted to become a home economics teacher, but there weren’t jobs in that area. She said she didn’t regret a day of her decision to become a nurse, instead. She told me she attends a local Presbyterian church and wanted to a couple more Smiley Bookmark cards to give one to her minister for a possible future laughter program! She talked highly of her church, she told me she had really loved her mother-n-law and wasn’t that odd? She mentioned her good, hard-working husband had died on Good-Friday, just before Easter – years ago. Plus a whole lot more…

I was concerned because of having an intestinal virus and being around someone I might make ill. I had made use of the store’s sanitizing hand wipes before I entered the store. But, I was torn between cutting her conversation short – knowing she really needed to talk – and getting her sick. When the time seemed right, I let her know – showing her the pepto bismol in my cart, that I was dealing with a stomache virus and didn’t want to make her ill. I let her know I needed to move on. We wished eachother good days as we parted.

I just found it all very fascinating! Just when we think we are down and out for whatever reason, something or someone comes along to let us know we still have something to give – even if it’s just a listening ear!

Happy upcoming Holidays (however you celebrate). Like my new buddy, Jane, may we all collect new happy, warm-hearted, sentimental memories this Holiday Season!

Ha Ha Helen of LAFOLOT
www.lafolot.com

Why the whispers?

I wrote a book called: “Life is a Song in the Key of Love OR Growing Up With the Embarrassment of Prejudice” ISBN 978-0-578-00690-1 (LCCN 2009901580). It is an autobiographical/philosophical discussion about acting out in prejudice or bias ways without actually FEELING the prejudice and bias. The book is meant to make us self-aware of whether our actions truly reflect our feelings; or are we just mimicking learned behavior? The book evolves into seeing the beauty of ALL life in ALL its forms of expression. To become in AWE of it ALL!

I see and hear continued comments of hate and confusion in regards to prejudice and bias. I felt the need to share the following to note that we can’t fight hate WITH hate. I feel the need to become AWARE of the SOURCE of our feelings; love ourselves and get to know one another in an open, honest way to remove pre-conceived notions learned and passed on. Below is an example of the confusing actions we show due to our lack of awareness in day to day life, relating to bias, prejudice and stereotype.

I was sitting in a restaurant having lunch, yesterday. There were two women and two men having lunch at a round table just behind me and to the right. At one point, discussion came to the cost of an Assisted Living Center where the one woman worked. She noted that the rate was so high priced she didn’t know how people could afford it. Then, she noted, even though it isn’t a Jewish (whispered) home, there are mainly Jewish (whispered) people there. I guess they are the only ones that can afford it? What assumptions was she making? I’m not Jewish, but I heard her clearly as well as others in the restaurant did, even though she whispered.

Years ago, I was on a bus with some co-workers, during our lunch period. There was a shuttle that took us from our downtown workplace to city restaurants. At one point, my one friend was telling a story about a black (whispered) woman at work. It was just a basic story with no emotion, about a basic work experience. The racial reference didn’t need to be made, it just was, with no malice.

Why do we WHISPER when talking about Cultures, Religious Creeds, Races, Lifestyle Choices, etc? The ridiculous thing is that the WHISPERING can actually be heard louder than a normal vocal tone. Plus, if the whisper isn’t heard, it leaves such a LOUD GAP in the conversation, that anyone around can tell there is a SECRET occurring!

Are we carrying guilt, fear, confusion? Why does pointing out a person’s physical attributes in a crowd, to make it easier to point out a friend, cause a whisper of their nature or preference? I had this discussion with an African-American friend of mine.

I recall a story of an Aunt of mine being referred to as ‘that fat girl over there’ by her mother, when someone at a picnic asked where her daughter was in the crowd. Depending on how a physical attribute is used or reference, can be quite hurtful.

I was watching one of the first episodes of SURVIVOR, a television show. The contestants are diverse. At first meeting, they are placed on the beach and asked to write down who they feel should be the leader of each tribe. I was curious to see how they would describe one another, not knowing each other’s names. Not one person noted race or culture as they described who they chose. Even though there was a dark skinned man, woman, Asian-looking woman, etc. – descriptions were made of clothes or hairstyles, etc. It was interesting to watch. As the show progressed, there was an issue that arose with a question of bias.

I’m not judging; I’m throwing this out there for discussion. It seems when we talk about a group that is in the minority or questioned by society, we whisper. In my book, I talk about educating ourselves, learning about racial, cultural, religious, and other groups so that we don’t have to whisper; and can feel comfortable with one another.

Education is the key! I suggest reading, talking to friends of different backgrounds, cultures, beliefs, etc rather than having to make assumptions or be fearful or questioning. Staying in the DARK breeds fear; fear breeds hate. Hating hate groups only perpetuates the cycle.

I felt inspired to write this when I hear and saw hate being spewed over the internet. Education and Awareness are the keys! Stop the ignorance and the hate; become aware and educated and share LOVE and UNDERSTANDING.

Thank you for allowing me to share. Again, my intent is to prompt awareness and promote healthy discussion. I wish blessings of peace, love and awareness to the world!

May we all reach the point of being in AWE of it ALL!

Motivational-Inspirational Speaker, Writer and Author
Helen Marie Szollosy
Live Life! Laugh Often!
Live life in amazement, be in Awe of it All!
www.lafolot.com

My younger sister recently made me aware of a new athletic shoe for women known as ‘Skecher Shape-Ups’. With taking an early retirement from State Government work and being on a limited budget while I start up my LAFOLOT business, I didn’t have the funds for this wonderful footwear.

I finished putting my recent blog-talk radio interview onto a CD so I could take it to my Mom’s apartment for her to listen to. I went to lunch, and read my daily meditation magazine while I was waiting for the very busy-but efficient server to bring my check. The meditation mentioned to ‘accept the good coming your way’ – in different words, but same thought. Basically, expect Luck!

So I headed over to my Mom’s. Being a Laughter Leader and speaking of: ‘Good Hearted Living ‘Forgiveness’ – I recently went over my last hurdle with forgiving my mother. It has taken 20 years, but I evolved a little at a time as I’ve healed my feelings and perceptions of my childhood years. This is a BIG thing, because for at least 25 years, I couldn’t stand to be near my mom, dealing with a lot of hate (her alcoholism, my abuse etc etc). Having reached pre-menopause this past year, becoming my mentally/physically disabled oldest sister’s Power of Attorney and Nursing Home Representative… it dawned on me one day: ‘How in the world did she do it!?’ (my mom, that is) That’s when I was able to go over the final FORGIVENESS hurdle with my mom. My mom had 7 kids, addiction of alcoholism, a mentally/physically disabled oldest daughter due to her being hit by a drunk driver at age 19, as well as having to take care of her father and mother (who had dementia and diabetes – passing on in 1982). I thought – I don’t have kids, I don’t drink, how in the heck did my mom do it? So I WAS GIVEN THE GIFT OF FORGIVENESS towards my mom.

As a result, I have been able to give her little gifts like, taking a CD over to her apartment so she can hear me singing torch style music. I can let her know about my LAFOLOT business, see her excitement when the weather man interviewed me on television during his weather segment, and today – sit with her while she listened to my blog-talk radio interview. So, I can honestly say – I was given the gift of awareness and forgiveness and was able to give that to my mother, too.

With that said, my mother was never able to give emotional/mushy support but found it easier to give cash. This would make me angry, because I used to feel she was buying my affection with cash. As I started to heal, I realized that was her way of giving love and I should accept her gift, because I truly realized that the gift was in the giving.

So – why all the above information? When I went to see my mother, I put the CD in for her to listen to it, she listened intently – and then – I saw the outstretched hand. I was just thrilled she was happy listening to my interview and being proud of it. But, there she was – holding out money for me. I graciously took the cash, knowing THIS is what makes her happy, to know her children are happy and cared for. [My mom had always wanted to be another Shirley Temple, to tap dance and be on stage... I feel I've helped her dream come true with my singing, local amateur acting, and laughter leader status.]

So – my meditation/prayer/wish was answered from this morning. My mom had given me enough money to buy the Skecher Shape-Up athletic shoes I needed/wanted. I let her know that I was now going to be able to buy the shoes. She was thrilled (the gift was in the giving).

When I went to buy the shoes at our local BOSCOV’s Department store, it was very crowded. I started to play my SMILE CAMPAIGN GAME, sharing and receiving smiles as I walked through the busy store towards the shoe department in the back.

LUCK was hitting me from all sides! Just as the meditation had shared. I ended up sitting next to a State Government worker who is going to give my LAFOLOT Smile Bookmark business card to their Human Resource Dept for a possible future gig!

One of the shoe department salesmen advised me to put on both the shoes and walk up two flights of stairs in the middle of the store to test them. They are very different in their makeup and I wanted to make sure I could handle them. I gave him one of my Smile Face Bookmarks to hold as Collateral while I left the department to try out the shoes.

When I returned, I got talking to another customer who works at a local federal building. She was so excited, because they have lunch-n-learn programs where she works and she said she wants something fun to do when she retires (laughter leader). She said, ‘I was meant to run into you, today!’

When I picked out the pair of Skecher Shape-Ups I wanted, I kept them on and put my old athletic shoes in the box. My salesman had returned. I saw my ‘collateral bookmark still sitting there on the counter’ – I went to retrieve it when the first helpful salesman saw it. I said: Would you like to keep it? His eyes started to sparkle and he smiled like a little kid. It said someting like: You’ve got a great laugh! on it.

So, there we were, the two salesmen, and 3 other women at the checkout line. I said: ‘Would you like to do an ALOHA laugh with me? I went through my usual drill and by the second time, after I had them laughing and smiling already… on the count of 1, 2, 3 they all said: A-LO-HA ahahahhahaaaaaa. My salesman said: ‘This is a FUN lady!’

The second woman in line looked inquisitive, so I asked if SHE would like a Smile face LAFOLOT bookmark, and I gave her one of my pamphlets, too. She remarked that she was a nurse and might be able to bring me into her workplace!

So, there we were at the shoe checkout, laughing and smiling.

A WHOLE LOT OF GIVING AND RECEIVING OF GOOD HEALTH and, now, with my Skecher Shape-Ups – HEALTHY LOOKING GAMS!

Ha Ha Helen, out and about and looking good with her athletic workout shoes and healthy legs and laughter!

HAVE A HEALTHY, HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON!
LIVE LIFE! LAUGH OFTEN!
www.lafolot.com

So – I pulled myself out of couch-potato mode – following my instinct, and headed for the City of Harrisburg’s Kipona-Arts Fest Susquehanna Riverfront Fest!

I dressed appropriately:

1 Tinsel-Deely Bobber Headband – CHECK!
1 ‘I Love to LAFOLOT’ Live Life! Laugh Often! T-Shirt – CHECK!
1 ‘Live Life! Laugh Often!’ canvas bag to carry – loaded with Giveaway Goodies! – CHECK!
1 SMILE planted on my face – CHECK!

It was my intention to ‘go with the flow’ and see what wonderful adventures I would experience.

I had lunch at my favorite Indian restaurant along the riverfront: Passage To India – wearing my tinsel deely-bobber headband while having lunch. *tee hee

Then – out to my car – parked in the lot along the riverfront – to prepare my walk UP THROUGH THE CROWD.

I remember thinking, ‘what an interesting AQUA – COLORED car had parked next to mine. Wouldn’t one of my LIVE LIFE! LAUGH OFTEN! Magnetic Bumper Displays look nice on the back of that car! *grin [Note: My car has my LAFOLOT magnet displal on the side - for advertising.]

So – I started to walk towards the River-fest… only to find they were charging for entrance! I didn’t have cash and didn’t want to walk through the Arts Fest part, anyway. I was told if I walked 3 blocks, I would get to the Kipona FREE Part – so I got my exercise for the day!

When I got to the FREE part, I started talking and mingling with folks as I went through the crowd. Greeting little doggies, SMILING my way through the crowd.

I stopped and stood next to a Harrisburg Firefighter who was holding a fireman’s boot and announcing: FILL THE BOOT! I told him I’d stand next to him with my TINSEL headband and see if I could help him get more donations for his cause. ;o) I stood there announcing: FILL THE BOOT! (I didn’t seem to draw anyone… so I moved on)

HERE’S THE MAGICAL MOMENT!!

I came across a mini set of bleachers with about 20 people sitting and waiting for a stage show at the BOB FM Radio stage. WHAT LUCK! IT WAS A CAPTIVE AUDIENCE!

I stopped, and announced: WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO PUT ON A SHOW WHILE YOU WAIT? Some of them said yes – so I gave them a big theatre BOW. ;o)

Then – I told them I was a LAUGHTER LEADER – I said: would you like me to get you to do some healthy laughter?

…none of them had tried to run, yet! *grin

I announced: HOW DO YOU SAY HELLO IN HAWAIIAN? One gentleman said meekly: Aloha
I asked them what it ended with? They said: HA! I said, ‘THERE YA GO! YOU’RE LAUGHING ALREADY! OK, NOW LET’S HOLLER OUT ALOHA AND KEEP LAUGHING AFTER WE REACH THE HA!

*SMILE….
They did it with me! SUCCESS!!! *tee hee ;o)

Just then, a woman in the front row said in excitement: ‘I’M GOING TO BE SPEAKING AT THE SAME EVENT AS YOU!’ I pulled out a flyer I had in my ‘bag of goodies’ for the:

http://www.women-connect.com WOMEN CONNECT – ‘KEYS TO CONNECTING’ Retreat Scheduled for the weekend of: September 25-26, 2009 [go to this site, click on the retreat info. and download the FLYER to see my Picture and Name on the flyer as a scheduled speaker! I'm in the big time, now!] The other speaker’s name is Mikell Worley.

I said to the crowd: YES! I’LL BE PRESENTING A LAUGHTER WELLNESS PROGRAM – LOOK! I HAVE THE BROCHURE! AND…. I SAID: HERE’S ANOTHER FAMOUS PERSON IN THE FRONT ROW WHO IS ALSO SCHEDULED TO SPEAK!!

Magical! What were the odds – with the large crowd along Riverfront Park – that I’d run into one of the other presenters, whom I had never met before!

She said: ‘You know, I parked my car next to yours and WONDERED if I’d run into you!”

KARMA!! PSYCHIC CONNECTION? I don’t know. UNCANNY!

So I still had a captive audience. I said: Wow! Did you all think you’d run into two famous women when you came here today? *grin

I gave out a few ‘Stress Reliever Pinwheels’, ‘Smile Face Bookmarks’ and 2 Magnetic bumper displays to folks in the crowd. I also told them about my website: www.lafolot.com and my once-a-month laughter club.

Besides the ALOHA laugh, I got them to do the vowel-sounds laugh exercise with me!

Then, the real performer, a country singer playing a guitar came on stage, so I sat down and took off my deely bobber headband so as not to block their view.

WOW! What a magical moment! To PARK next to and RUN INTO a fellow women’s retreat speaker and get such a golden opportunity of a captive, receptive audience!

JUST GOTTA LAUGH AT THE SYNCHRONICITY OF IT ALL!

p.s. on the way back to my car, I continued to wear a BIG SMILE and my tinsel-headband. I passed a group of young-Hispanic males. I chose to keep the smile going and release any fear. One of them hollered out: ‘LINDA!’ [beautiful, in Spanish]
Well! For whatever it’s worth – a smile makes everyone beautiful! I accepted the compliment with grace.

HA HA Helen of Lafolot
Living Life in Amazement!
Live Life! Laugh Often!
www.laugholot.com

HOOTER SHOOTERS! or WEIGHT LOSS INSPIRATION DEVICE?

Well, let me say, upfront, that I DO actually feel really good wearing this DEVICE!

I purchased the Kymaro New Body Shaper. I was very excited when it arrived in the mail, yesterday!

Since I had watched the Paid Advertisement where it shows, over and over and over and over and over again how to EASILY put the DEVICE on, I decided to JUMP right into it!

Uh… did I say jump?

Well, you have to easily (per the instructions) STEP into it, and gradually work it up your body.

Did they say easily and gradually? Let me tell ‘ya – you can’t do anything BUT gradually!

I looked like I was doing a native/tribal dance while trying to easily step into this thing.
Legs pumping up and down from the knees, bending my body to and from – side to side – bobbing my head up and down – doing several jumps and….

VOILA! It was on! I go to look in the bathroom mirror and –
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BREASTS?! THEY WERE FLATTENED TO MY CHEST! (Great sports bra idea!)
I HAD THE DARN THING ON BACKWARDS! AFTER ALL THAT EFFORT!

I wasn’t breathing heavy – basically – because I couldn’t BREATHE!

So I start to do my native/tribal dance again to get the straps off my shoulders so I can remove it…
OH NO! not all the way – just far enough down my legs to TURN IT AROUND –

Thinking I’m quite clever… not taking it totally off – to reduce the amount of fight time – pulling it back up.

OK – so more tribal/native dance maneuvers, head bobbing, huffing, puffing….
VOILA! IT’S ON!
Back to the mirror!

OH NO! MY BREASTS ARE BOTH POINTING TO THE LEFT!

*#@!#@!! I hadn’t turned the DEVICE totally around for it to face forward!

OK – 3rd times a charm! Back down it goes – tribal/native dance number three….
I WAS REALLY STARTING TO GET THOSE DANCE STEPS DOWN! I SHOULD TRY OUT FOR – “SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE?” AND JUST BRING THIS BODY SHAPING DEVICE ON STAGE WITH ME! I’D SURELY WIN!

OK – so, back down to the ‘turn the device around point’ – half way down my legs…. THIS time, I think I have it POINTING FORWARD – I hope….

More tribal/native dance, huff puff, nearly broke a thumb joint pulling those straps up over my shoulder and …
VOILA! IT WAS ON! BREASTS POINTING FORWARD – BELLY FAT ALL TUCKED IN – EYES WIDE OPEN – STARING AT THIS TUCKED IN BLOB OF A BODY IN THE MIRROR.

But! I must say! I FELT REALLY GOOD! I actually wore it to watch an episode of NCIS –
Looking very slenderized, sitting in my TV chair – eating…
CARROTS
GRAPES
YOGURT
NUTS
BERRIES…. I MUST SAY – THIS IS ACTUALLY A WEIGHT LOSS DEVICE!

After that workout – it inspired me to eat healthy!

Ha Ha Helen ‘Living in the moment…’
Blessings…
[this blog can also be seen under Blog Circle Helenoflafolot writer: Vibrant Nation]