LAFOLOT

Teaser: ‘Speaking up for my rights – I feel empowered! Resolving the issue with kindness, gratitude & forgiveness – Priceless!’ a.k.a. ‘Good Hearted Living’ [Steve Wilson] … in motion

While making use of a Gift Card to dine at my local Applebees, I ended up with twenty-one cents remaining on the card. I said to the ‘highly efficient’ server: Now the problem is, I want to give you a tip, I don’t have cash, so I’d have to use my VISA Check Card. The card was in my right hand near my purse, on the table. The server was off to my left at the end of the booth. WITHIN A SPLIT SECOND – She had TAKEN the card OUT of MY HAND and walked away with it!

I’m shocked, wondering WHAT she is going to do with my card!? I calm down, thinking she was just absentminded and was going to ask the manager for help on how to do it. BUT NO! I look back and she is SWIPING the CARD in their check processing device! I’m wondering WHAT AMOUNT is she entering on my card? I hadn’t even filled out the slip for the tip?!

She comes back with my card and I say strongly: WHAT! DID YOU JUST DO WITH MY CARD?

She responds: ‘I was trying to see if it would take an amount like a penny or …’

I said: ‘Don’t you realize it’s a federal offense to take a person’s card without permission and enter dollar amounts from their account?!’ I continued – ‘I REALIZE you didn’t do this on purpose, and that it is a TRAINING issue.’ I said: “We need to get the manager over here and EXPLAIN that THIS ISN’T PROPER.

Long story short – the manager didn’t seem to get it. I asked the manager for the corporate office address and phone number. Ten minutes later I STILL don’t have the information requested. She has now brought out the Assistant Manager who ALSO won’t give me the information. I tell them I could easily call the police since they don’t seem to get this wasn’t proper procedure with a customer’s card. I finally get the address and phone number and leave.

This morning, I called the number and talked to the local President of Davenports/Applebees, etc. SMART MAN – he admitted immediately that their actions were totally inappropriate. He didn’t understand why the server took the card and ran it through for unapproved amounts and why the management didn’t want to give me the corporate address and phone number.

I told him I wanted NOTHING other than to know that STAFF WOULD BE TRAINED, MANAGEMENT WOULD BE TRAINED and they would realize NOT to TAKE a credit/debit card OUT of a CUSTOMER’S HAND and run it through a system to withdraw funds. I explained I was a business woman myself, I didn’t believe in verbally harming a place but to SEE THE SITUATION from a healthy perspective and suggest training would help.

He offered a gift card. I told him I honestly did not want one, since I was not out any money, having used my gift cards. He thanked me and I just got off the phone with their Area Manager – to whom I told the same thing – I’d just like the staff there to be trained and aware. I told them both, my server was HIGHLY EFFICIENT, and she provided excellent service up until she ran off with my card. I said: “I do not want to see any job loss when it’s just a Training Issue.”

They both thanked me. I had felt VERY FRUSTRATED with myself for having to get verbally strong, threatening with the place. I didn’t like ‘having to go there’ so to speak. It’s an uncomfortable thing for me to do, as well as awkward. While I knew I had the right, I didn’t like it.

‘Speaking up for my rights – I feel empowered! Resolving the issue with kindness, gratitude & forgiveness – Priceless!’

Highlighted Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Living, Learning, Loving with kindness and Gratitude, and learning Forgiveness of myself and others.
www.lafolot.com

Part II – how it all started and showed me the POWER of a SMILE!

One story I didn’t include in my blog, yesterday. I had ‘stood up’ to a powerful
management/uniformed/gun toting figure at a meeting where I used to work
(policing agency) I ‘spoke up’ in a sexual harrassment training session when he
made fun of some point. He then ordered me to leave.

Well – things got hairy, even though I had many supporters, but too many were
afraid to speak up, understandably!

A few weeks later, I encountered him exiting an elevator. He saw me, dropped
his head and was ready to walk on -

BUT – a funny thing happened. I decided to just give him one of my closed mouth
smiles – he saw it – his entire body, shoulders and face lifted, brightened,
lightened up!

I had decided we had agreed to disagree and there was no point in allowing it to
drag us both down. I could see the RELIEF on his face – this high
level/uniformed/powerful man who had ‘shrunk himself down and dropped his
head’… THE POWER OF THAT SMILE – what POWER it had to dissipate anger.

That’s why my SMILE CAMPAIGN is so personal and means so much to me.

thank you for allowing me to share … ;o)

Highlighted – Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Spread those SMILES by the MILES and watch how the power of a soft smile can dissipate anger.
www.lafolot.com/smile-campaign/
[this post can also be seen at VIBRANT NATION blog: Helenoflafolot]

I have been having a lot of people share with me lately:

1) I was sitting at a funeral for my mother. They started to play a church song that my mom, disliked. They reached one particular line that she especially hated – I BURST OUT LAUGHING!

2) I was in a very serious situation, I had not been dealing with it well, it’s not a situation where you would normally laugh; and I BURST OUT LAUGHING!

3) I was working on a mechanical problem, lying flat on my face, trying to unscrew a difficult nut and bolt and, suddenly, I BURST OUT LAUGHING UNCONROLLABLY!

As a trained, certified laughter leader – I am required to keep abreast of new studies on laughter and smiling benefits and impacts on the body and mind. I also do a lot of my own observations and testing when I am out and about in public. When I give my laughter wellness talks or motivational-inspirational speaking, I share information and experiences people have shared with me.

When my father was dying, I was blessed with being with him at his last coule breaths. I was also blessed to be from a large family. My mother or other siblings would be with him, at the hospital, during the day; then I would come in the evening. My dad LOVED to joke around, clown around, with kids as well as adults. He had his standard set of jokes. When a non-denominational minister came into intensive care to visit, she started out serious and my dad made a joke. She was so focused on the ‘Here’s a dying man with a family member, I better show respect…’ she didn’t realized he had joked with her. I let her know he was joking. She stopped and looked at me. I said, my dad loves to joke around, and I smiled. ‘WELL THEN, SHE SAID! I CAN STAY RIGHT IN THERE WITH THE BEST OF THEM!’ The rest of her visit was LITE and FLUFFY and my dad had a smile on his face at the end of her visit, giving her a thank you.

When my dad passed on, I went to tell the nurses. They were ready to console me. I said, ‘Oh No! I’m great! It was wonderful to be here, see him let go so peacefully.’ We started to talk about a funny fishing story where my dad had put a safety pin on the end of a string so I could FISH at the canal near our home. We were laughing out loud when my mother arrived. She was also at peace that he had been able to let go and pass on peacefully.

EVERYONE GRIEVES and LETS GO of their own life and of their loved one’s lives in a different way.

I have had more and more people tell me how they laugh and smile when they MISS and GRIEVE their loved ones. I have a minister friend tell me a woman said to her: ‘IF YOU’RE HERE TO HELP ME DIE, DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU IN THE A** ON THE WAY OUT! IF YOU’RE HERE TO HELP ME ENJOY LIFE WHILE I’M STILL BREATHING, COME ON IN AND PULL UP A CHAIR!’

I had a representative of a Hospice, at a networking event, tell me yesterday (when I was at the event wearing my tinsel deely bobber headband): ‘YOU CAN’T WEAR THOSE AT THE HOSPICE!’ I was instantly shocked. I told her the story I noted above.

I respect everyone’s wishes and beliefs in grieving. Everyone’s wishes and beliefs are different and personal. I know MANY people that would be THRILLED to have me show up wearing Tinsel Deely Bobber Headbands if they were wanting to LET GO LITELY!

I heard of a family who lost their mentally/physically disabled son. They had a PARTY with BALLOONS at his viewing! Why? Because he LOVED PARTIES and BALLOONS! I wore PINK to a friend’s husbands funeral. He was a FUN LOVING FAMILY MAN and HUSBAND! He was KIND and CARING and FULL OF LIFE! He knew how to make you feel better when you were down, just by a kind word. I celebrated his LITENESS by wearing a LITE, BRIGHT COLOR to his funeral.

As for me – I want to LET GO LITELY and be seen with a SMILE on my face as I’m going to my next exciting adventure!

It’s OKAY to LAUGH at a funeral. Laughter isn’t all about responding to a joke. It’s OKAY to SMILE at a funeral. I tell people all the time – GRIEVING sometimes gets STUCK inside your body. Sometimes – planting a SMILE on your face or OPENING your MOUTH and LAUGHING allows the STUCK GRIEVING FEELINGS to SPILL OUT! I have had this happen to me on many occassions. When I feel STUCK – I open my mouth in a grin and sometimes start a tone to help my body let out, whatever it needs to process. Some cultures call this WHALING. It’s a healthy thing, to LET IT OUT and LET IT GO LITELY.

It may not be for everyone, but for those that wish – it should be allowed.

One of my favorite writings is by S.H. Payer: ‘Live each day to the fullest… be yourself, but be your best self… look forward with confidence and back without regrets…’

Another writer I like is: Don Miguel Ruiz who notes: Each day do you best. Each day your best is different, based on how you are feeling. So there are no regrets, because you are always doing your best.

If you need to LAUGH, laugh. If you need to CRY, cry. If you need to make a crack in your face with a smile to start a process, do it. No regrets – it’s your way of processing your feelings.

LIVE LIFE! LAUGH OFTEN! until your breath stops -
May you live till you LET GO LITELY with a smile on your face –
May you have the chance to make all your amends, forgive freely and know that you have done your best – and when you are ready to LET GO – LET GO LIGHTLY in the brightest of light with that smile emanating even after your spirit has left your body.

…with peace and a smile Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Live Life in A-MAZE-MENT and make them wonder WHY you were smiling when you left.

[this blog can also be seen at VIBRANT NATION under blogger name: Helenoflafolot]