LAFOLOT

In honor of all the amazing work and awareness brought by MARTIN LUTHER KING, his family and others of his time period –

I wanted to Honor this day by bringing awareness of my book: LIFE IS A SONG IN THE KEY OF LOVE or Growing Up With the Embarrassment of Prejudice

The ‘thought’ for the book came to me back in 1999 during a New Year’s Church Service – ‘Start the New Year Fresh’ – church prayer/meditation regarding – our New Year focus. I was sitting quietly when the thought: ‘Growing Up With the Embarrassment of Prejudice’ came to mind.

I progressively started to write thoughts, notes, and quotes, etc. as I planned the book. It took me 9 years to write the book – because I wanted it to come from a POSITIVE space and not seem whiny nor negative. In my own growth and awareness – I found MY SINGING VOICE! In the process of finding my voice – I discovered the song from the 30′s: LIFE IS A SONG

There is a line in the song: Let’s Take Our Hearts and Dip them in Rhyme

THAT WAS IT! I thought! THAT’s how I can TURN THIS AROUND!

I wrote this book based on comparing LIFE to SHEET MUSIC! That a prejudiced/biased world would sound MONOTONE!

By Appreciating Life in ALL its forms of EXPRESSION (as well as showing RESPECT) – we can MAKE LIFE A SONG!

My book is available at: www.lulu.com/hszollosy or locally from me at: www.lafolot.com/books/
It is also available on www.AMAZON.COM – books – search on Helen Marie Szollosy.

I know some of you have already read it and given me WONDERFUL feedback! Thank you so much!

The book deals HEALTHILY and CREATIVELY with treating ALL LIFE Expression with respect … noting my oldest sister with brain damage as a result of being hit by a drunk driver … or think of a child from a challenged household – with hygiene issues – being bullied at school for BEING DIFFERENT… or a person with dimentia – not aware of the present … it’s more than just religion, culture, skin color, gender bias …

IF YOU FEEL SO MOVED – PLEASE SHARE MY BLOG … it’s OPTIONAL …

I have seen so much in the news about racist comments, bullying, brain damage, and other bias. I feel there is a stronger need for me to promote my book – and I don’t currently have the funds.

Thank you for any support. Again, it’s OPTIONAL … whatever works for you! IN ACCEPTANCE AND PEACE …

Highlighted Helen Marie Szollosy
Living BOLD and in ITALICS!
Make LIFE a SONG!
Be in AWE of it ALL!

I wrote a book called: ‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’. It’s ultimately about ‘appreciating life in ALL its forms of EXPRESSION.’ It’s about ‘being in AWE of it ALL!

What type of art do you like? Traditional, Impressionistic …

What type of music? Classical, Jazz, Contemporary, Rap…

Just as music, sculpture, oil paintings, pencil sketches or any other creative expression can take many forms; so does LIFE!

I mention, in my book, that I was talking to a woman at Bethany Towers one day. I encountered her in the lobby. She was having a little trouble opening a jar lid. She also happened to be in a wheelchair. She also happened to be fairly young. I smiled and started a conversation with her. I was there to conduct my HEALTHY HAPPY HOUR – Laughter Club.

I told her that ‘if she wanted help opening the jar’ – I would certainly try to assist – but that I was also AWARE to ‘allow her to ask for help’ rather than my ASSUMING that she needed it, just because we were physically diffierent in our abilities.

She smiled, we talked a bit – then she gave me the jar to see if I could open the lid.

I was talking to her about a Star Trek – Next Generation episode where: One of the crew had ‘fallen for’ an alien woman who was wheelchair bound. The reason she was in a wheelchair on their spaceship, was because her planet had no gravity; hence the occupants had no muscle mass. So, when he went to her ‘cabin’ – HE BECAME PHYSICALLY CHALLENGED, because she had no gravity in her cabin quarters – to suit HER needs. HE became AWKWARD – floating around awkwardly. On the OTHER hand – she became GRACEFUL – floating FREELY in air space – moving easily about.

It was an interesting episode – causing awareness in – ‘what is normal’? ‘what is average?’ ‘what is accepted as handicap or different?

As I talked to this woman who expressed life with physical and speech limitation in ‘our world’ – I told her I considered her A PICASSO.

I told her I feel we all express life SOMEWHAT LIKE ART! Some people are Traditional paintings

i.e., 2 arms, 2 legs, 1 head, all the basic body parts that we consider THE AVERAGE or THE NORM.

Then – there are those who express life as: PICASSOS! Daring TO BE DIFFERENT! Some folks ‘fade into the background’ as IMPRESSIONIST paintings, and it takes a BIT to FOCUS in on them. Some express as WATER COLORS, living a quiet, soft existence. Some are POP ART – with BRIGHT, LOUD COLORS – saying: I’M HERE! I’M ALIVE, NOTICE ME!

So what are you? How do YOU express life? I don’t need to know. I don’t need or mean to label -

my point is: It’s ALL just LIFE EXPRESSION – and we are ALL ‘magnificently, created WORKS OF ART!’

Step back, let go of the instant judgement and take a gander at the GALLERY OF ART walking around you today.

BEAUTIFUL! isn’t it?

Helen M Szollosy – expressing herself as Singer, Writer, Speaker, Author, OUTLOOK SHIFT ENGINEER!, Laughter Wellness Facilitator

Author: ‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’ or Growing Up With The Embarrassment of Prejudice www.lafolot.com/books/

Not having found 12 Step Programs and Group Counseling sessions till age 30 -

and seeing the world filled with:

people with UNRESOLVED emotional and mental health issues

using Bombs, Guns, and other self-destructive and outwardly destructive

ways to HEAL their ISSUES in a non-sensical way – -

I feel MORE AND MORE -

we need to provide a 12 Step Program type program in kindergarten thoughout college …

It doesn’t have to be 12 Step but – GROUP DISCUSSION oriented.

In addition to classes -

Giving a HEALTHY – circle of chairs environment for children to

COMMUNICATE

SHARE

AND HEALTHILY RESPECT one another in a SAFE ENVIRONMENT.

For them to learn to communicate with:

I FEEL …

I NEED …

statements

Many Bullies and GUN TOTING, RAMPAGING ADULTS

never learned how to TALK, EXPRESS and PROCESS feelings, frustrations …

They need a safe place to LEARN how to LET GO … TURN THINGS OVER …

MAKE LISTS of PROs and CONs of behaviors and thoughts that can be

run-on and unhealthy.

WHY WAIT UNTIL THEY USE DRUGS?

WHY WAIT UNTIL THEY COMMIT A CRIME?

WHY WAIT UNTIL THEY HARM THEMSELVES or OTHERS?

TO EXPERIENCE A HEALTHY SOCIALIZION or 12 STEP or

OPEN COMMUNICATION process?

Why not TEACH it and HAVE IT AVAILABLE from the get go -

So many children come to kindergarten, gradeshool (grammar school)

and HAVE NO IDEA how to HANDLE frustration, low self esteem,

strong character peers -

many bullies come from homes where the adults just don’t know

how to deal with life themselves.

HEAL THE WORLD WITH OPEN COMMUNICATION

GETTING FOLKS TO NOT BE AFRAID TO FEEL -

TO HEALTHILY EXPRESS -

TO SHARE-

TO WRITE and JOURNAL

in order to live HEALTHY, HAPPY LIVES!

THIS IS MY AFFIRMATION, MY PRAYER, MY WISH …

We need more trained GROUP COUNSELORS, GROUP LEADERS,

HERE AND ABROAD to help people to FEEL, HEAL, and LIVE!

IT’S TIME!

Highlighted Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT.com

Motivational-Inspirational Speaker, Singer, Writer and Author

Did you know there is a ‘Law of Average’ or Standards? It applies in Interior Design, when drafting and indicating counter heights, seat heights, ceiling heights, etc. It applies in school systems, noting whether we fall above or below average on a grading scale. It applies when a child is born, relating to their height, weight or mental/emotional capacity.

I write in my book, ‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’, that we may tend to unknowingly show bias or prejudice, and the best way to deal with it is talk openly. I suggest asking questions and becoming more familiar with cultures, non-average folks so that we may educate ourselves and break down barriers.

Yesterday, I had another ‘OOOPS I DID IT AGAIN!’ moment relating to making an ‘Assumption’ about another human being. Luckily, I was able to talk openly and educate myself, thank goodness!

I was sat at a booth at a local restaurant. About 6 feet across from me, in another booth, was a family consisting of the mom, dad, and two young boys. I already knew what I wanted, so I was just staring off into space. I suddenly noticed ‘more movement’ out of my left eye. The one boy was ‘playing peek-a-boo’ with me! I LOVE playing with kids when they initiate play out in public, being bored with their families. Babies do this a lot, by looking away from their parents and observiing with big, wide eyed looks as they absorb all the ‘new stuff’ they are seeing and experiencing.

So, my first thought was: ‘this boy seems too old to be playing peek-a-boo, but I’ll go along since he is having fun!’ So I put some silly grins on my face, he ducks and hides behind his daddy.
He pops his head out again, and I give him a wide open-eyed look! He ducks and hides.
He makes another appearance and I hide my face with the menu. He is giggling, hiding, popping up, and smiling.
Life gets too serious, too fast – so I love doing my part to allow kids to be kids and have fun!

All the while, I’m thinking – FOR THIS KID’S HEIGHT (here I go with my assumption and LAW OF AVERAGE), he seems to be a 7 or 8 year old playing PEEK-A-BOO like a little two year old!

Well, I’ve had many opportunities to assist parents with crying toddlers by offering them one of my SMILEY Face bookmarks. When the child sees it, their face lights up and they get curious. It usually stops them from crying.
So, in this case, even though this was a happy BOBBING, PEEK-A-BOO child, I offered him a SMILEY Face bookmark (actually my business card), and gave him an extra for his brother. The parents thanked me, and we went back to our own table space.

A little later, I asked the boy (who I ASSUMED was about 7 or 8 years old), ‘did you READ the back of the bookmark?’
[It has wonderful positive statements about having a fun, healthy outlook on life.]
The mother looked over and said:

HE’S ONLY 4, HE DOESN’T READ YET. [There's the LAW OF AVERAGE!] I ASSUMED he was older, even though I thought his behavior a bit juvenile! This child was almost 4 feet tall and was 4 years old!

I could have smacked myself. I said to the mother: ‘My he’s tall for his age!’ [COULD SOMEONE STUFF A SOCK IN MY MOUTH!]

We are all so unique and beautiful, but we have this LAW OF AVERAGE on which everything is based. I got treated differently because I was short, fat and female – when I worked in a technological environment. My age also came into play due to the field in which I worked. I talk a lot about this LAW OF AVERAGE in my book, by giving examples of scenarios experienced by friends.

I am making a judgement about myself. My book is about AWARENESS and Appreciating Life in All its Forms of Expression. I just had another dose of, ‘step out of your Law of Average awareness and open your mind to other possibilities’ Helen. I’m glad the mother was comfortable enough to talk with me. I’m glad the boy was COMFORTABLE enough with himself to feel free to PLAY LIKE A FOUR YEAR OLD even though people may see him as a seven or eight year old.

Like Forest Gump said, ‘Life is like a box of chocolates’ – there’s a wide variety, full of wonderful flavors. Life is a Song in the Key of Love, full of wonderful variations on musical themes, with a wonderful mix of musical notes.

I got to HEAR THE SOUND of a TALL FOUR YEAR OLD while he MOVED FREELY in life, BOBBING up and down, around his daddy, feeling free to play PEEK A BOO with an over 50, menopausal women.

He held no bias towards me! He just saw a PLAY PAL – not a short, fat, 51 year old, menopausal woman!

Thank you beautiful four year old boy for accepting me as I am and showing me how to do the same. Angels come in ALL SHAPES AND SIZES!

Highlighted Helen of LAFOLOT
Be in AWE of it ALL!
Make Life a Song!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog may also be seen at Vibrant Nation under blogger name: Helenoflafolot]

I had my second book signing (‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’), last evening. I strategically scheduled it at Lily Cafe’ in the heart of downtown Carlisle, PA (USA) near Dickinson College. Besides college staff and students, the area is very diverse. There is the Army War College as well as people from all cultures and backgrounds. I placed advertising in two different newpapers, information on my website, out on Facebook, distributed fliers around Dickinson Campus and elsewhere. I felt good about this location.

My first book signing was the previous Friday, Easter weekend. I looked at it like a test run for me, since I hadn’t realized the Holiday weekend when I scheduled the advertising. So I was READY FOR THE CROWDS last evening.

Once I set up ‘my space’, a slew of Emergency Response vehicles went flying by the Cafe’! I thought, Deja Vu, since an emergency vehicle had flown by last Friday when I was setting up. I immediately thought the worst. I went to the owner and said: ‘This is like the movie Ground Hog Day! Does this mean I’ll get no interest again, this week? I hope you’re not superstitious!’

Since the book signing was scheduled from 3:00-8:00pm (to allow time for students getting out of classes to stop in), I relaxed at my book signing sofa, watching passers by. I also had my daily meditation magazine with me. I re-read the line that had interested me earlier that day: ‘NEVER LIMIT YOUR VIEW OF LIFE BY ANY PAST EXPERIENCES.’ Ernest Holmes

I had to SMILE, I was EXPECTING the worst based on a previous experience! I then allowed my gaze to fall on the businesses across the street. First business: Emporium CONCEPTS; Second business: … Life Cafe’; Third business: UNIFORMLY Yours

I had to SMILE and LAUGH to myself! Never limit my view from past experiences … here’s a new CONCEPT … (switch the letters in Cafe around and get FACE) Life – FACE it! … it’s UNIFORMLY YOURS … to make of what you will!

So, once again, I was learning my lesson to: ‘See With New Eyes’, ‘Shift my Awareness’, ‘Shift my Perception’, move forward with my thinking in a new direction!

I step away from my book signing area to talk to the owner; and when I return a woman walking in the door stops to look at me. She asks: ‘Are you Helen?’ I respond affirmatively. She gives me her name and I realize she is the wife of a former coworker and friend whom I haven’t seen for about 10 years! OH, THE SYNCRONICITY! They saw my AD in the Carlisle Sentinel and clipped it for the book signing and 20% off Cafe’ dining purchase offer!

SHIFTING my awareness and perception of the event was now starting the Life Experience Dominoes falling in a different direction! I shared with my two friends, all the synchronicity that had been happening up until ‘Muriel’ had walked in the door. Her husband Rich had introduced me to the movie ‘Baghdad Cafe’ way back in the early 1990s. I referenced ‘Baghdad Cafe’ as a comparison to Lily Cafe’ in a blog I wrote a couple weeks ago! I had been thinking about Rich and Muriel and had even moved near their ‘neighborhood’ over 2 years ago!

So, here I am, waiting for folks to show at Lily Cafe’ (Baghdad Cafe’) and they arrive! I end up having a wonderful conversation about my book topic with Muriel as well as an artistic young man who had stopped in with his brother. The young man told me he grew up in a farming family, was expected to stay in the ‘family business’, when in his heart and soul, he knew he was an artist! The conversation was priceless!

When Muriel’s husband Rich arrived, we caught up on 10 years of stuff, discussed the book and they stayed to dine at the Thai Cafe’. Antonio Anacan, the master jazz musician and featured performer, allowed me to sing for Muriel and Rich. They got to dance while I sang and Tony took a break.

I also got the chance to sell my book (way below cost) to a wonderful young couple I had met at the Cafe’ on another occassion. They are always ALL SMILES, having eachother, and a positive outlook; even though life hasn’t graced them with more than limited income. They WANTED to pay for the book, so I talked with Danielle who shyly negotiated the price they could handle. I gave them a couple ‘Life is a Song’ canvas shopping bags, a couple Pinback buttons and they promised they would help me advertise! They were ALL SMILES as they left the Cafe’!

I sold two books! YES! What a priceless evening! I left exhausted and found a UPS package on my doorstep when I arrived at home. I was so tired, I placed all my stuff in the living room and prepared for bed. After I awakened this morning, had a healthy breakfast and started to go through my items left in the living room, I RE-discovered the package. WHAT A SURPRISE!

I start to dig through all the foam peanuts. What did I find? A YELLOW SMILEY SPATULA! I was ALL SMILES! My laughter leader buddy, Barb G. had sent me a SMILE spatula! I read the card, the beautiful note as well as the check donation she sent me for helping with Marketing/Advertising bookmarks. I SMILED even broader, as I felt the WARMTH of HAVING BEEN THOUGHT OF in a kind way!

I laughed when she noted in the card that she knew I didn’t cook, but perhaps I could display it in my kitchen to bring me smiles! I immediately used the chain to hang it on my plant rack at my kitchen window. My cat Buddy, was enjoying the open window, the sun shining in, and the smile spatula! I took a photo.

 
Then, as I continued preparing for a health faire at a local Senior Center, today; I started to find Smiles ALL OVER MY HOME! If you read my blog about having to bring my birdbath into my home; it now reflects rainbows all over my ceiling! I took a photo of the RAINBOW SPOTS smile created by the sun reflecting through the glass votive candles sitting in the water. I went into my living room to find a SHADOW SMILE peaking at me from the Cathedral ceiling; as a result of the sun going through the SMILE SPATULA! I walked out of my home office, looking up to find a WINKING SMILE on my smoke alarm mounted on the wall. I entered my bathroom to find a ‘Pearl Necklace’ SMILE made by having hung the necklace on a bathroom shelf!

I was ALL SMILES! I was SURROUNDED by SMILES! My home was filled with SMILES BY THE MILES!

It’s the THOUGHT that counts – friends from years past THINKING of me and supporting me at my book signing.
New friends, Danielle and David, RICH in love and friendship but not in money, showing me support!
Master Jazz musicians allowing me to share my gift of song with friends while they dance.
A distant laughter / Virtual Buddy thinking of me and sending me a smile; and
ALL THESE SMILES being REFLECTED back at me to warm my home space, heart and soul.

Highlighted Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Live Life! Laugh Often!
Live Life in Amazement!
Share your SMILES by the MILES!
www.lafolot.com

[this blog can also be seen at Vibrant Nation under blog circle name: Helenoflafolot ]

This is not a whiny blog about pity me childhood stuff; but a discussion on personal-awareness of views placed on new lives/souls being born into this world. ‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’ – be in AWE of it all, respect life in all its forms of expression; and make life a song!

Labels I’ve heard:

Your head is BIG! – You can’t wear your hair short – Your eyes are too close set. [I felt bad about my looks.]
You’re big boned – you wear a size X. [When I see my childhood photos, I look very thin?]
You have a Wide foot, D-width. [I picked clunky, boring shoes.]
You don’t want to dress like those snobby girls. [when given the chance to pick a flower print or plain-striped dress - I chose the plain-striped dress - which I really disliked.]
Oh! You got placed in those honors classes – that’s where all the snobby kids are. [As a result, I asked to be placed in the next lower level, so I wouldn't be seen as snobby - rather than challenging my mind.]
You’re too quiet, cat got your tongue? [as a result, I talked less!]

I CRINGE when I hear new parents tell me:
My child or my grandchild is in the Such-and-Such National Percentile.
The ‘Doctor’ says he/she is TOO short, TOO tall, TOO small etc COMPARED TO other children at that age.

I hear these labels announced loudly and clearly in FRONT OF toddlers (I remember comments made about me at age 4!)

I understand the need to be aware of certain physical and mental development issues in order to provide treatment or education at an early age, where it is available; to improve the quality of life.

At WHAT point do we let the child know: YOU’RE OKAY JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!

When we keep hearing, as children, everything that is WRONG with us; that we don’t fit the NORM – our self-esteem goes crashing into the ground or never gets developed.

Someone sent me an e-mail of groups of people from all over the world. I think it had to do with wealth. What I noticed. The people I was taught appeared to be poorest and lacking; HAD THE BIGGEST SMILES AND BRIGHTEST LIGHT in their eyes!

I am not saying to not get your teeth straightened or eyes or hearing corrected, or anything else that may improve the quality of your life! Good hygiene makes for a happier, healthier life. Just don’t do this because you want to FIT IN with the NORM, the AVERAGE.

I went to a hairstylist about 10 years ago and said: ‘I was told I can’t wear my hair short with my ears cut out; because my head is big and my ears are too big.’ She said: ‘I don’t think that’s true at all, let’s try it.’ Well, check out my photo on my website, I think she was right! My head is just PERFECT as well as my ears!

DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY and tell a beautiful new soul that’s recently arrived in this world; YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL, YOU’RE PERFECT – JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! Children observe, hear and hold onto what they are told from a very early age – fill them with thoughtful words not of judgement, but of acceptance. Share this philosophy with their siblings. Compliment them on their uniqueness, and perhaps we’ll start growing some healthy, self-loved teens and adults.

There’s no need for a world of clones. I’m 5 feet 2 inches; when I go grocery shopping, I openly ask anyone taller than me for help with reaching items on the top shelves. After the kindness is done for me, I tell them to come and get me if they need anything from the lower grocery shelves, since I don’t have to reach down as far!

VARIETY is the SPICE of Life! Don’t LABEL and JUDGE rather APPRECIATE the DIVERSITY! This allows us to be of more HELP to one another, due to our differences in mental, physical, and emotional ability.

There’s a story of the difference between heaven and hell. Hell is a bunch of people with very long arms with spoons as hands, all sitting around a bowl of soup, starving; because they can’t put the soup in their mouths due to the long arms.

Heaven is a bunch of people with very long arms with spoons as hands, all sitting around a bowl of soup, healthy and happy; because they are feeding one another.

Let’s feed one another with appreciation, acceptance, tolerance, respect and Make Life a Song!

Highlighted Helen of LAFOLOT
Live life in a-MAZE-ment!
Make Life a Song!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog may also be read at Vibrant Nation under Blog Circle name: Helenoflafolot]