Just having bought a modular home that still needed to be inspected; I was given a master key for the ‘basic’ door handle lock so I could move some small items into the home.

Being used to dead bolt locks, I accidentally turned the inside lock on the handle, shut the door behind me and locked my car and house keys in the new home! Problem is, it was 6:30am on on a Friday. I ‘did’ have an extra set of car keys with me, thank goodness!

The BIG PROBLEM WAS – I am a menopausal woman over 50 who takes a blood pressure pill with a water pill in it – enough said? If no, let me tell you, a bathroom trip is required every 5 minutes, when it is first taken!

In my defense, I was exhausted from moving. I had slept on the floor the night before, so I could be ready for the movers with my bed disassembled. I THOUGHT I was thinking clearing and had made every effort to make sure I had everything before I left the modular home. I wanted to go over to my old condo to do some final cleaning early in the morning. I was really PISSED OFF – I guess I should use a different word – HA HA – because I was now stuck.

It was 6:30am and I didn’t want to wake anyone.
It was the day after a heavy rain, so there was a steady DRIP DRIP coming down from the roof rain gutter onto my head as I tried to work on the door.
I had heard you could use a credit card to open a basic door know lock.

I didn’t use my credit card, but I had some club cards I wasn’t using that were expendable.
Everytime I tried to insert the plastic card, I would get HIT with a wet SPLAT on my head.
After 5 minutes of no luck, I was soaked on one side of the head! HA HA

I had MANAGED to get the door to BUDGE a bit, but I realized later, I was just too timid.
I had to RUSH to my car and drive to the nearest McDONALDS to use their bathroom. It was a TRUE EMERGENCY!
I then sat in one of the booths in the back to gather my thoughts.
I tried calling a younger sister to see if she had a spare key to my old condo, so I could meet her at work and pick it up – but no, she didn’t.
While I was waiting, one man was having a breakfast meeting with another man and giving him spiritual advice on job loss, his marital relationship, etc. I figured, what the heck, I just listened.

I got the thought to MAKE ANOTHER EFFORT at the door. He was being given the advice ‘Faith without works, is dead.’ At least that’s what I heard.

I went back to THE SCENE OF THE CRIME and met a couple neighbors who gave me contact numbers for other possible people with the master key. I couldn’t get ahold of anyone.

I went back to my new home door –
I got out my OLLIE – GOOD STUFF CHEAP CLUB CARD and tried again.

I guess I was NOW CONFIDENT and DETERMINED!

When I finally got it slipped into the door and felt the door budge – I THREW THE FULL WEIGHT OF MY OVERWEIGHT, MENOPAUSAL, WATER PILL – GOTTA GOOOOOOOO Body into the door and it opened!

*PFEW! I flew to the bathroom! (first things first!) Then I was able to go about my day.

So, I am here to testify:

YES, I broke into my own home, using a plastic bonus club card.

Here’s the lesson – NEVER MESS WITH A MENOPAUSAL WOMAN ON A BLOOD PRESSURE WITH WATER PILL COMBINATION!

Also – always lock your deadbolt and don’t rely on the door handle lock.

Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Living Life! and Laughing Often!
Thank God I’m smart enough NOT to take this as a lesson to pursue a life of crime!
Amen.

Or should I say – getting through a menopausal, hormonal Helen kinda’ day? Oy Vey!
I feel like I’m on a scary Amusement Park ride with the ups and downs of the menopausal, hormonal cycle! Whew!

So, to start the day off, I got myself out of the house, to get myself ‘out of my mood’ and tried promoting myself, as far as being a singer, goes! Success, I made 4 new Helen of LAFOLOT sample singing demo CDs and dropped them off at 3 places! On the way to the one coffee house, I encountered some road construction. I like to ‘mess’ with construction folk when I drive by, to make their days a little more interesting. I’m SURE they love it! eh hem

On the way back home from the coffee house where I promoted my singing to the owner, I saw the heavy duty road equipment being maneuvered to place one of those cement segments used to redirect traffic on a highway. I saw them c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y trying to place the one concrete segment up against another. All I could think of is the old scenario where a person has a piano delivered and keeps telling the delivery guys to move it a little this way or that.

So, I rolled my window down to indicate that to the workers, but the equipment was too loud. Since no one was driving behind me, I slowly pulled up to the two workers, standing a little farther down the road, and hollered out the window; “I think they need to move that a Leeeeetle more to the left!” The workers smiled and laughed and I got out of there quickly. Ha Ha!

Then, as I approached the first stop light in the town/borough where I live; it was backed up a couple blocks. I rolled down my car window and put on my clown nose. I wanted to play with the guy who had his car hood open for maintenance while his girlfriend looked on. The traffic was stopped, so even though I didn’t end up getting their attention; a couple handymen working on the front porch of a house just behind my car saw what I was doing. I turned, and they were looking and laughing at me; poking my clown-nosed face out of the car window. Mission accomplished; I got a smile and laugh!

Well, being hormonal Helen, when I got home my mood instantly shifted from 0 to 60 and I got to make a fool of myself with the business dealings of all things. *sigh

Since I had a call from my accountant to pick up my tax forms, I thought it best to, once again, change my environment. I left to pick up the forms, review, sign and mail them. I headed over to my chiropractor appointment, he allowed me to ‘dump my frustrations’ about my hormonal mood swings and making a fool of myself on a daily basis. No extra charge!

Then, of course, I went to our local Red Robin restaurant to WALLOW in self-pity and order one of the mega-apple crisp with ice cream desserts!

Well, let me tell ‘ya! If you are ever ‘down in the dumps’ – go to a family/kid-oriented restaurant with birthday celebrations, a mingling mascot and balloon character artist! By the time I left that place, I was all smiles!

First, what luck! My server was a young, pregnant girl! I told her about my HORMONAL day and she said: no problem – I’m pregnant, I understand! I said, ‘thank goodness’ – so just ignore me if I snap at you. What a miracle this was!

Then, how wonderful, the Red Robin mascot was mingling with customers! Red Robin came over to my table. I had on my I LOVE TO LAFOLOT IT’S HEALTHY! Pin-back Button. I asked her if she remembered me from the summer when I met her at a park across the road. She had me stick my ‘LIVE LIFE! LAUGH OFTEN!’ Bumper sticker on her bird tail! She said YES! Giving me a Thumbs up with her mascot hands.

Then, it got really funny! She started talking to me through her mascot beak! I gave her some of my LAFOLOT Smiley Face bookmarks to hand out to folks. She thanked me, because she said there is a family that comes in often, and they have a young daughter with juvenile diabetes. She gave me a ‘thumbs up’, because she likes giving gifts out to folks.

She got her box of goodies and gave me a GUMMY WORM! Hooray! I told her how I like worms, because they loosen the soil and help crops. She gave me a Red Robin thumbs up! We were talking more – her through her beak, and I laughed. I said it reminded me of the ‘GET SMART’ television show where ‘Agent 86’ used to talk to his informant ‘Heimie’ – who would hide in building air vents, etc. I told her she was an UNDER-COVER BIRD! This RUFFLED HER FEATHERS! Ha Ha

So she continued her mingling. When a dad came in with his wife and 3 daughters, she went to their table. She gave one of my smiley bookmarks to the mom, I think. I saw the mom and dad looking at it curiously. Why had Red Robin given them a LAFOLOT bookmark? Ha Ha

I got up and went over to explain. They laughed. I gave them 4 of my ‘REFLECT A SMILE’ Popsicle sticks that have a little mirror glued on the end. I told them all the silly uses for it, and they got a kick out of the gifts.

Then, a woman came to my table and said her mom was getting jealous and curious, wanting to know what I was handing out! WOW! I FOUND A NEW PLACE TO MARKET LAFOLOT! So, I got out some bookmarks, singing business cards, my LAFOLOT pamphlet and I still had a REFLECT A SMILE Popsicle stick. This lady was great! She said she was very aware of the health effects of laughter and we exchanged all our knowledge.

I showed her how to do my friend Kelly’s ‘Clap Clap Stomp Stomp Wiggle Wiggle’ remove snow before you go in the house dance. I told her where to find it at: www.youtube.com/Helenoflafolot
She told me she still loves to catch snowflakes on her tongue. I said, ‘Don’t forget jumping in puddles!’ ‘Or, through piles of leaves!’ she shared.

She had to run to the women’s room, so I went over to her mom at their booth. I only had the I LOVE TO LAFOLOT it’s Healthy! Button I was wearing. I asked her mom if she would like it? Her face lit up and she said ‘Yes!’ I gave her the pin. When I saw them leaving the restaurant, her mom was wearing the pin!

By the time I left Red Robin restaurant, I didn’t need the mega dessert. My mood had pleasantly shifted.
There’s a book by Don Miguel Ruiz called ‘The Four Agreements’. He notes that each day we do our best. Some days, our best is better than other days, but as long as we do our best, there’s no need to beat ourselves up. So, with all the hormonal Helen moments going on today; I guess I have to say I made many efforts to TURN IT AROUND and in the end got: ROCKIN’ WITH ROCKIN’ ROBIN and the rest of the gang!

Live Life! Laugh Often!
Live Life in a-MAZE-ment!
This has been a Ha Ha Highlighted Helen of LAFOLOT series of moments…
www.lafolot.com