LAFOLOT

Did you know there is a ‘Law of Average’ or Standards? It applies in Interior Design, when drafting and indicating counter heights, seat heights, ceiling heights, etc. It applies in school systems, noting whether we fall above or below average on a grading scale. It applies when a child is born, relating to their height, weight or mental/emotional capacity.

I write in my book, ‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’, that we may tend to unknowingly show bias or prejudice, and the best way to deal with it is talk openly. I suggest asking questions and becoming more familiar with cultures, non-average folks so that we may educate ourselves and break down barriers.

Yesterday, I had another ‘OOOPS I DID IT AGAIN!’ moment relating to making an ‘Assumption’ about another human being. Luckily, I was able to talk openly and educate myself, thank goodness!

I was sat at a booth at a local restaurant. About 6 feet across from me, in another booth, was a family consisting of the mom, dad, and two young boys. I already knew what I wanted, so I was just staring off into space. I suddenly noticed ‘more movement’ out of my left eye. The one boy was ‘playing peek-a-boo’ with me! I LOVE playing with kids when they initiate play out in public, being bored with their families. Babies do this a lot, by looking away from their parents and observiing with big, wide eyed looks as they absorb all the ‘new stuff’ they are seeing and experiencing.

So, my first thought was: ‘this boy seems too old to be playing peek-a-boo, but I’ll go along since he is having fun!’ So I put some silly grins on my face, he ducks and hides behind his daddy.
He pops his head out again, and I give him a wide open-eyed look! He ducks and hides.
He makes another appearance and I hide my face with the menu. He is giggling, hiding, popping up, and smiling.
Life gets too serious, too fast – so I love doing my part to allow kids to be kids and have fun!

All the while, I’m thinking – FOR THIS KID’S HEIGHT (here I go with my assumption and LAW OF AVERAGE), he seems to be a 7 or 8 year old playing PEEK-A-BOO like a little two year old!

Well, I’ve had many opportunities to assist parents with crying toddlers by offering them one of my SMILEY Face bookmarks. When the child sees it, their face lights up and they get curious. It usually stops them from crying.
So, in this case, even though this was a happy BOBBING, PEEK-A-BOO child, I offered him a SMILEY Face bookmark (actually my business card), and gave him an extra for his brother. The parents thanked me, and we went back to our own table space.

A little later, I asked the boy (who I ASSUMED was about 7 or 8 years old), ‘did you READ the back of the bookmark?’
[It has wonderful positive statements about having a fun, healthy outlook on life.]
The mother looked over and said:

HE’S ONLY 4, HE DOESN’T READ YET. [There's the LAW OF AVERAGE!] I ASSUMED he was older, even though I thought his behavior a bit juvenile! This child was almost 4 feet tall and was 4 years old!

I could have smacked myself. I said to the mother: ‘My he’s tall for his age!’ [COULD SOMEONE STUFF A SOCK IN MY MOUTH!]

We are all so unique and beautiful, but we have this LAW OF AVERAGE on which everything is based. I got treated differently because I was short, fat and female – when I worked in a technological environment. My age also came into play due to the field in which I worked. I talk a lot about this LAW OF AVERAGE in my book, by giving examples of scenarios experienced by friends.

I am making a judgement about myself. My book is about AWARENESS and Appreciating Life in All its Forms of Expression. I just had another dose of, ’step out of your Law of Average awareness and open your mind to other possibilities’ Helen. I’m glad the mother was comfortable enough to talk with me. I’m glad the boy was COMFORTABLE enough with himself to feel free to PLAY LIKE A FOUR YEAR OLD even though people may see him as a seven or eight year old.

Like Forest Gump said, ‘Life is like a box of chocolates’ – there’s a wide variety, full of wonderful flavors. Life is a Song in the Key of Love, full of wonderful variations on musical themes, with a wonderful mix of musical notes.

I got to HEAR THE SOUND of a TALL FOUR YEAR OLD while he MOVED FREELY in life, BOBBING up and down, around his daddy, feeling free to play PEEK A BOO with an over 50, menopausal women.

He held no bias towards me! He just saw a PLAY PAL – not a short, fat, 51 year old, menopausal woman!

Thank you beautiful four year old boy for accepting me as I am and showing me how to do the same. Angels come in ALL SHAPES AND SIZES!

Highlighted Helen of LAFOLOT
Be in AWE of it ALL!
Make Life a Song!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog may also be seen at Vibrant Nation under blogger name: Helenoflafolot]

It’s April 18, 2010 and I’m having a SILLY SUNDAY!

The first clue about this Sunday being SILLY and SPECIAL was the fact that BOTH my Alpha female cat ‘Kitty’ and my Alpha male cat, ‘Buddy’ decided it was OK for both to come and sleep on the bed with me at the same time! Is the world coming to an end? What a miracle!

I spent the morning relaxing and listening to the Sunday morning jazz stations ‘mellow music’ show. Ahhhhhhh -
While listening to the music, I opened Facebook and checked on my ‘Life is a Song‘ coupon special, book AD. I was getting ‘clicks’ and all was well. I hone my marketing and advertising skills by making general observations about Facebook activity, so I spent some time doing that.

Then it was time to get out of the house and make use of my A.C. Moore Craft store, fifty percent off coupon, that so diligently gets e-mailed to me every Sunday morning! I’m a VALUED A.C. Moore club card holder, you know! I AM SPECIAL! But first, lunch at Olive Garden! Going out to eat works well for visibility in my marketing and advertising.

I like to park farther out in the parking lot when I make the trip to these two places so I get some exercise. So I treck over to the restaurant which has a 15 minute wait; but that’s okay because I get ‘face time’ and unexpected advertising when I sit in the lobby and wait with the crowd. Marketing marketing marketing! While waiting, we heard ‘CRASH’! I announced: ‘YEAH!’ The one host looked at me. I said: ‘Well, it’s done, why get worked up? Just sweep up the glass! He revealed to me that it is such a common occurrent, when he is waiting on tables and entire trays go crashing to the floor, he doesn’t miss a beat with his order taking!

I had been given one of those beeper disks that is supposed to light up and buzz when it is your turn to be seated. One of the friendly hosts called over to me: ‘Helen, you should have ‘GONE OFF’.” I looked up and laughed! I pulled the device out of my pocket, it wasn’t flashing or buzzing. I respond: ‘Well, I’m in a good mood at the moment, I don’t have any need to GO OFF on anyone!’ (insert smile or laugh here) When I handed it to her, THEN it started it’s commotion! Too late buzzer-lightup thingy, I’m already getting seated!

I got one of the young, handsome, great smile, servers and had a nice lunch. Over the half-wall from the niche where I was seated (containing 3 other tables) was a family with toddlers. You could hear the fun, giggling, and squeels of the kids. A new couple got sat when I was almost finished. At one point, the little girl let out such a squeal of GLEE that it shreeked through the area. I just laughed out loud, because I thought it was fun. The lady across from me winced. My handsome, friendly, great smile server brought me my check along with a ‘Comment Card’. This was new. ‘OOOOOOH! A CHANCE TO WRITE SOMETHING SILLY’, I SAID! He just laughed, not being worried.

I had my daily meditation magazine with me, so I joked I was going to pull a profound quote out of the periodical and write it on the card. I was laughing and chuckling as I wrote on the back: ‘THE OBSTACLE IS THE PATH.” Tao Then I noted he was a friendly server and had a great smile! ha ha ha Enough SILLINESS there, I left and headed over to A.C. Moore Crafts to use my coupon!
woo hoo!

While getting my walking exercise in, returning my periodical to my car so I wouldn’t have to take it into the store; I heard a vibrating, rumbling noise. I looked up. I saw a truck with an appliance in the truck bed, with bubble wrap all around it. The bubble wrap was making a buzzing noise like when you put a baseball card clipped to a bycycle tire spoke as a kid.

I waited for the man to get out of his truck and hollered: ‘Sir! You ought to drive your truck all around more and have some fun with the bubble wrap making that buzzing noise!’ He smiled and laughed, agreeing with me. He said he had heard it and it reminded him of the baseball card bit on bycycle tires, too!

As I got to the A.C. Moore store entrance, a husband was DUTIFULLY leaning against the stone pillar in front of the store. His wife was shopping in the bins outside the store. I called out: ‘Sir! Just keep holding that column up for me while I shop in the store!” He smiled and said he’d do his best!

I got the chance to give a plug for my book, when I went to the checkout! I forgot I was wearing my AD button: ‘LIFE IS A SONG IN THE KEY OF LOVE’ by Helen Marie Szollosy, www.lafolot.com. The cashier was looking at it with a quizzical look on her face.

[an aside: When I was in a woman's clothing store the day before, the sales clerk said, as she prepared a changing room for me: 'Your name's Helen?' 'Yes.' I answered. Wondering how she knew? Then, last evening, I went to an art gallery showing. An artist I was talking to said: 'I know I've seen your name in an e-mail I received recently.' I laughed and said: 'Oh! You're reading my book advertising button!' I forgot my name was on it! Plus, I was thrilled someone had forwarded and e-mail or youtube video of mine to her!]

I said, ‘OH! That advertises my book.’ She was excited, ‘You wrote a book?’ ‘Yes!’ I was thrilled for the opportunity to toot my own horn! It ‘just so happened’ – tee hee – that I had my mini-marketing tools for my book in my purse! I whipped one out and gave it to her; explaining it was about ‘appreciating life in ALL its forms of expression.’ I mentioned it was an autobiographical/philospophical discussion on learned but not felt, bias and prejudice. Her face lit up! She was a caucasian woman and told me her husband is African-American. I let her know that book was about ALL types of bias. I gave her a couple more marketing cards and told her to feel free to pass it on.

She asked if the book was in stores, and I let her know it was self-published, it could be gotten at my website, that I had had a book signing in Carlisle, PA , recently, etc. She thanked me and I left.

When I made my next trip to the grocery store, I got to have more fun. When I got to the dairy section to pick up eggs, an employee had a HUGE cart filled with eggs, as he was stocking the area. I walked around the cart, he was sitting on the floor. I said: ‘I SEE YOU ARE UP TO YOUR ARMS AND LEGS IN EGGS!’ He started to laugh and said: ‘Hey! I like that! That’s egg-actly what I am!’

So, finished with my SILLINESS, I headed home, with a smile and a chuckle.

MAY YOU ENJOY A SILLY DAY IN THE NEAR FUTURE!

Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Live Life! Laugh Often!
and let your silly side out and keep your sunny side up!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog can also be seen at VIBRANT NATION under blog circle name: Helenoflafolot]

I had my second book signing (‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’), last evening. I strategically scheduled it at Lily Cafe’ in the heart of downtown Carlisle, PA (USA) near Dickinson College. Besides college staff and students, the area is very diverse. There is the Army War College as well as people from all cultures and backgrounds. I placed advertising in two different newpapers, information on my website, out on Facebook, distributed fliers around Dickinson Campus and elsewhere. I felt good about this location.

My first book signing was the previous Friday, Easter weekend. I looked at it like a test run for me, since I hadn’t realized the Holiday weekend when I scheduled the advertising. So I was READY FOR THE CROWDS last evening.

Once I set up ‘my space’, a slew of Emergency Response vehicles went flying by the Cafe’! I thought, Deja Vu, since an emergency vehicle had flown by last Friday when I was setting up. I immediately thought the worst. I went to the owner and said: ‘This is like the movie Ground Hog Day! Does this mean I’ll get no interest again, this week? I hope you’re not superstitious!’

Since the book signing was scheduled from 3:00-8:00pm (to allow time for students getting out of classes to stop in), I relaxed at my book signing sofa, watching passers by. I also had my daily meditation magazine with me. I re-read the line that had interested me earlier that day: ‘NEVER LIMIT YOUR VIEW OF LIFE BY ANY PAST EXPERIENCES.’ Ernest Holmes

I had to SMILE, I was EXPECTING the worst based on a previous experience! I then allowed my gaze to fall on the businesses across the street. First business: Emporium CONCEPTS; Second business: … Life Cafe’; Third business: UNIFORMLY Yours

I had to SMILE and LAUGH to myself! Never limit my view from past experiences … here’s a new CONCEPT … (switch the letters in Cafe around and get FACE) Life – FACE it! … it’s UNIFORMLY YOURS … to make of what you will!

So, once again, I was learning my lesson to: ‘See With New Eyes’, ‘Shift my Awareness’, ‘Shift my Perception’, move forward with my thinking in a new direction!

I step away from my book signing area to talk to the owner; and when I return a woman walking in the door stops to look at me. She asks: ‘Are you Helen?’ I respond affirmatively. She gives me her name and I realize she is the wife of a former coworker and friend whom I haven’t seen for about 10 years! OH, THE SYNCRONICITY! They saw my AD in the Carlisle Sentinel and clipped it for the book signing and 20% off Cafe’ dining purchase offer!

SHIFTING my awareness and perception of the event was now starting the Life Experience Dominoes falling in a different direction! I shared with my two friends, all the synchronicity that had been happening up until ‘Muriel’ had walked in the door. Her husband Rich had introduced me to the movie ‘Baghdad Cafe’ way back in the early 1990s. I referenced ‘Baghdad Cafe’ as a comparison to Lily Cafe’ in a blog I wrote a couple weeks ago! I had been thinking about Rich and Muriel and had even moved near their ‘neighborhood’ over 2 years ago!

So, here I am, waiting for folks to show at Lily Cafe’ (Baghdad Cafe’) and they arrive! I end up having a wonderful conversation about my book topic with Muriel as well as an artistic young man who had stopped in with his brother. The young man told me he grew up in a farming family, was expected to stay in the ‘family business’, when in his heart and soul, he knew he was an artist! The conversation was priceless!

When Muriel’s husband Rich arrived, we caught up on 10 years of stuff, discussed the book and they stayed to dine at the Thai Cafe’. Antonio Anacan, the master jazz musician and featured performer, allowed me to sing for Muriel and Rich. They got to dance while I sang and Tony took a break.

I also got the chance to sell my book (way below cost) to a wonderful young couple I had met at the Cafe’ on another occassion. They are always ALL SMILES, having eachother, and a positive outlook; even though life hasn’t graced them with more than limited income. They WANTED to pay for the book, so I talked with Danielle who shyly negotiated the price they could handle. I gave them a couple ‘Life is a Song’ canvas shopping bags, a couple Pinback buttons and they promised they would help me advertise! They were ALL SMILES as they left the Cafe’!

I sold two books! YES! What a priceless evening! I left exhausted and found a UPS package on my doorstep when I arrived at home. I was so tired, I placed all my stuff in the living room and prepared for bed. After I awakened this morning, had a healthy breakfast and started to go through my items left in the living room, I RE-discovered the package. WHAT A SURPRISE!

I start to dig through all the foam peanuts. What did I find? A YELLOW SMILEY SPATULA! I was ALL SMILES! My laughter leader buddy, Barb G. had sent me a SMILE spatula! I read the card, the beautiful note as well as the check donation she sent me for helping with Marketing/Advertising bookmarks. I SMILED even broader, as I felt the WARMTH of HAVING BEEN THOUGHT OF in a kind way!

I laughed when she noted in the card that she knew I didn’t cook, but perhaps I could display it in my kitchen to bring me smiles! I immediately used the chain to hang it on my plant rack at my kitchen window. My cat Buddy, was enjoying the open window, the sun shining in, and the smile spatula! I took a photo.

 
Then, as I continued preparing for a health faire at a local Senior Center, today; I started to find Smiles ALL OVER MY HOME! If you read my blog about having to bring my birdbath into my home; it now reflects rainbows all over my ceiling! I took a photo of the RAINBOW SPOTS smile created by the sun reflecting through the glass votive candles sitting in the water. I went into my living room to find a SHADOW SMILE peaking at me from the Cathedral ceiling; as a result of the sun going through the SMILE SPATULA! I walked out of my home office, looking up to find a WINKING SMILE on my smoke alarm mounted on the wall. I entered my bathroom to find a ‘Pearl Necklace’ SMILE made by having hung the necklace on a bathroom shelf!

I was ALL SMILES! I was SURROUNDED by SMILES! My home was filled with SMILES BY THE MILES!

It’s the THOUGHT that counts – friends from years past THINKING of me and supporting me at my book signing.
New friends, Danielle and David, RICH in love and friendship but not in money, showing me support!
Master Jazz musicians allowing me to share my gift of song with friends while they dance.
A distant laughter / Virtual Buddy thinking of me and sending me a smile; and
ALL THESE SMILES being REFLECTED back at me to warm my home space, heart and soul.

Highlighted Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
Live Life! Laugh Often!
Live Life in Amazement!
Share your SMILES by the MILES!
www.lafolot.com

[this blog can also be seen at Vibrant Nation under blog circle name: Helenoflafolot ]

This is not a whiny blog about pity me childhood stuff; but a discussion on personal-awareness of views placed on new lives/souls being born into this world. ‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’ – be in AWE of it all, respect life in all its forms of expression; and make life a song!

Labels I’ve heard:

Your head is BIG! – You can’t wear your hair short – Your eyes are too close set. [I felt bad about my looks.]
You’re big boned – you wear a size X. [When I see my childhood photos, I look very thin?]
You have a Wide foot, D-width. [I picked clunky, boring shoes.]
You don’t want to dress like those snobby girls. [when given the chance to pick a flower print or plain-striped dress - I chose the plain-striped dress - which I really disliked.]
Oh! You got placed in those honors classes – that’s where all the snobby kids are. [As a result, I asked to be placed in the next lower level, so I wouldn't be seen as snobby - rather than challenging my mind.]
You’re too quiet, cat got your tongue? [as a result, I talked less!]

I CRINGE when I hear new parents tell me:
My child or my grandchild is in the Such-and-Such National Percentile.
The ‘Doctor’ says he/she is TOO short, TOO tall, TOO small etc COMPARED TO other children at that age.

I hear these labels announced loudly and clearly in FRONT OF toddlers (I remember comments made about me at age 4!)

I understand the need to be aware of certain physical and mental development issues in order to provide treatment or education at an early age, where it is available; to improve the quality of life.

At WHAT point do we let the child know: YOU’RE OKAY JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!

When we keep hearing, as children, everything that is WRONG with us; that we don’t fit the NORM – our self-esteem goes crashing into the ground or never gets developed.

Someone sent me an e-mail of groups of people from all over the world. I think it had to do with wealth. What I noticed. The people I was taught appeared to be poorest and lacking; HAD THE BIGGEST SMILES AND BRIGHTEST LIGHT in their eyes!

I am not saying to not get your teeth straightened or eyes or hearing corrected, or anything else that may improve the quality of your life! Good hygiene makes for a happier, healthier life. Just don’t do this because you want to FIT IN with the NORM, the AVERAGE.

I went to a hairstylist about 10 years ago and said: ‘I was told I can’t wear my hair short with my ears cut out; because my head is big and my ears are too big.’ She said: ‘I don’t think that’s true at all, let’s try it.’ Well, check out my photo on my website, I think she was right! My head is just PERFECT as well as my ears!

DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY and tell a beautiful new soul that’s recently arrived in this world; YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL, YOU’RE PERFECT – JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! Children observe, hear and hold onto what they are told from a very early age – fill them with thoughtful words not of judgement, but of acceptance. Share this philosophy with their siblings. Compliment them on their uniqueness, and perhaps we’ll start growing some healthy, self-loved teens and adults.

There’s no need for a world of clones. I’m 5 feet 2 inches; when I go grocery shopping, I openly ask anyone taller than me for help with reaching items on the top shelves. After the kindness is done for me, I tell them to come and get me if they need anything from the lower grocery shelves, since I don’t have to reach down as far!

VARIETY is the SPICE of Life! Don’t LABEL and JUDGE rather APPRECIATE the DIVERSITY! This allows us to be of more HELP to one another, due to our differences in mental, physical, and emotional ability.

There’s a story of the difference between heaven and hell. Hell is a bunch of people with very long arms with spoons as hands, all sitting around a bowl of soup, starving; because they can’t put the soup in their mouths due to the long arms.

Heaven is a bunch of people with very long arms with spoons as hands, all sitting around a bowl of soup, healthy and happy; because they are feeding one another.

Let’s feed one another with appreciation, acceptance, tolerance, respect and Make Life a Song!

Highlighted Helen of LAFOLOT
Live life in a-MAZE-ment!
Make Life a Song!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog may also be read at Vibrant Nation under Blog Circle name: Helenoflafolot]

Meet my alter ego and distant distant Hungarian cousin: Ilonka Szollosi (pronounced: Szeu-leu-shee)

I didn’t start singing until age 40. I have a lower, torch singing voice. When I would go to church or other events; the key of the music didn’t fit my voice. I thought I sounded odd when I heard the higher female voices around me. One day, my church announced they were performing GODSPELL and needed ‘players’. I got brave and showed up! Due to a fluke, I got the role of Sonia. LUCKY ME! Sonia sings a saloon-style, lower range song called: Turn Back Oh Man!

A star was born! The song range fit my voice perfectly! My vocals came out clearly, without strain! WOW! I thought, I can sing! The rest is history! I got fellow, piano playing church members to use the electronic keyboard to adjust the key to fit my voice. These folks played and recorded to tape, music I could learn in MY KEY! I eventually performed a torch singing show at our church coffee house.

Yes, I was ‘rusty’, and the audience was loving and forgiving. I went on to take voice lessons to hone my skills. I also started to collect songs that fit my voice. Thank goodness for karaoke machines with key/pitch adjustments, I was able to start singing a wider variety of music! Thanks to a friend named, Vicki, I got to practice my singing by going to nursing homes and singing! The folks loved my voice and ERA of music that fit my voice. I found the silver screen era music fit beautifully!

I evolved into singing on stage in the role of DOMINA (A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum). The music for this character fit my voice! I got to sing: Dirty Old Man (what a thrill!)

So if anyone has ever told you, YOU CAN’T SING! Step away from the PEER PRESSURE and JUDGEMENT. Step away from that label. Tell your friends to be: PEER POSITIVES and be supportive.

As my friend Ilonka Szollosi says in her youtube video: REPEAT ME! YOU, TOO, CAN SING! LET ME HEAR YOU!

Seriously! Make your soul happy! ‘Sing out loud, sing out strong – don’t worry that it’s not good enough, for anyone else to hear, just sing, sing a song!) Neil Diamond

In laughter clubs, we PURPOSELY SING BADLY because it’s more fun. So sing along – BADLY IF YOU WISH – with Ilonka Szollosi as she encourages you to make your soul happy and SING!

http://www.youtube.com/Helenoflafolot#p/a/u/0/ByEz_H3uUR0

Have a beautiful, song filled day!
Put a song in your heart, a smile on your face and a glimmer in your eye!
Live Life! Laugh Often!
Live Life in Amazement! and be a PEER POSITIVE not a PEER PRESSURE NEGATIVE
ENCOURAGE YOUR FRIENDS TO BE ALL THEY CAN BE – WITHOUT JUDGEMENT!
Highlighted Ha Ha Helen Szollosy of LAFOLOT
www.lafolot.com
[this blog can also be viewed at Vibrant Nation under blog circle name: Helenoflafolot]

Allow me to introduce a character I created called: Bea Gaude’ (pronounced Gaw-day), Fashion Consultant.
Bea was created when Ha Ha Helen was invited to a Halloween party and she didn’t have a costume. Helen threw together mismatched items from her closet, put on cat glasses, created business cards went to the party. Bea was a big hit!

Perhaps it was her floral print skirt, with her plaid jacket and woven tapestry print purse. Either way, Bea came to BE!

Bea is PURE PERFECTION!

What IS perfect, anyway? Bea is here, in my latest video blog, to set you on the path to BEing the YOU, you were meant to be.

If someone approaches and tells you, ‘You Don’t Fit In!’ respond: THANK YOU!

Be a trend setter, be yourself! P-E-R-F-E-C-T, perfect is what it means to ME, says BEA!

If needed, copy and paste this web link: http://www.youtube.com/Helenoflafolot#p/a/u/0/SRmvc6RtxoY
Otherwise, just click HERE to watch it!

BE with BEA and BE FREE…
“STAY SWEET!” Mary C. [one empowered business woman of integrity with a free spirit!]

Ha Ha Helen of LAFOLOT
Live Life! Laugh Often!
Living Life in a-MAZE-ment!
www.lafolot.com
[this blog can also be seen at Vibrant Nation under Blog Circle name: Helenoflafolot ]

There was a movie years ago called Bagdad Cafe’. It was about a Diner in the middle of nowhere; found by folks traveling coast to coast in the U.S. The variety of Bohemian characters in the movie is amazing! It is definitely worth watching!

Well, I recently discovered my own little ‘Baghdad Cafe’ known as Lily Cafe’ in Carlisle, Pennsylvania (USA). I know the Lao owner whose family has had Thai restaurants in the area for over 10 years. They GOT ME with the first Red Curry, Number 10 spicy dish, I ordered! I’ve geen going back, frequently, ever since!

I wrote a book called: ‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’ or Growing Up with the Embarrassment of Prejudice. It has to do with becoming aware of learned/inherited bias/prejudice that isn’t personally felt. It is an autobiographical/philosophical discussion, encouraging society to open communication on the topic. The book discusses appreciating life in ALL its forms of expression; comparing it to the beautiful sounds made from the complexity of sheetmusic. It was inspired by a 1930s song by Joe Ahlert called: Life is a Song. The key line of inspiration being: “Let’s take our hearts and dip them in rhyme …. make life a song!”

Well, I’ve recently gotten bold and set up my own book signing at the Lily Cafe’. I chose this location because of it sitting in the middle of the Dickinson College campus of Carlisle, PA; as well as its BAGHDAD CAFE’ nature!

For example, I arrived last evening to place my book signing poster in the window as well as some flyers around the cafe’. As is the norm, Antonia Anaban (master jazz musician) was playing his beautiful, background music to set the mood. Antonio is of Phillipine background, having grown up in Hawaii. He learned his craft from his talented father. His family made the commitment to move to the Carlisle PA area so the sons could be involved with the Central Pennsylvania Ballet.

One evening, a free-spirited college student stopped in to pick up his take-out order. Within 10 minutes, the student had given Tony three chords to play and the ‘talented bohemian soul’ was just spilling out original lyrics, in rhythm and rhyme to Tony’s chords!

Last evening, I met ‘Larry’; that’s his American name. Larry is of Spanish/Cuban background. His father from Spain and mother from Cuba. Larry was providing security guard services to the cafe’ while it was closed for a few days. Larry being another beautiful, free, bohemian spirit was sitting at one of the tables. Tony sat across from him and casual conversation started between us. We discussed the proper pronunciation of Larry’s first and last names. Don’t ask me, I struggled a bit but made the effort!

Next thing you know, Tony is playing a Spanish love song and Larry’s beautiful vocals are accompanying Tony! Since I had my camcorder, I got their permission to record the wonderful, impromptu moment! It can be seen out on my You Tube Channel: www.youtube.com/Helenoflafolot

After a bit, another ‘tall, dark and handsome’ gentleman arrived. He now sat across from Larry, as Tony had taken the small stage area to start ‘officially’ serading the customers, which hadn’t yet arrived. Talk about Baghdad Cafe’!

Being Hungarian myself, Tony revealed that the newest bohemian character in the cafe’ was also Hungarian! Tony has his own, modern rendition of a Hungarian tune that he likes to play for me. He started to play it for (who I found out later, was) Mike.

In talking to ‘Mike’ he revealed that his sister was none other than: ‘Angel’ Wallenda! (a.k.a. Elizabeth Pentya)
Angel met and married Steve Wallenda in New York, went on to join the family’s high wire acts. Angel had to have her leg amputated due to cancer. But, Angel STILL did the high wire acts with the artificial leg! What a woman! Angel only lived to be 28, with the cancer eventually taking over. But, I feel Angel lived a FULL life! What a woman! Mike mentioned that there was information about his sister on the internet. He was proud that she had had an article written about her in Reader’s Digest magazine! What a famous, admired woman for having lived only 28 years. I’d say she lived her life to the fullest! Mike got to be a part of the Wallenda family act as an announcer as well as ‘clowning!’.

My life has had much synchronicity lately. Last Sunday, I presented my talk ‘Seeing With New Eyes’ at a Women’s Conference. I talked about seeing life as a gift no matter what. I talked about my childhood experiences now being seen as the gifts that made me into the empowered woman I am, today! THE IRONY! I was reading about Angel Wallenda on the internet. One of her quotes noted that ‘if she hadn’t gone through the struggles she had as a child, she wouldn’t have been able to handle her challenge with the cancer and leg amputation.’ [to share a similar thought last Sunday and then hear it reaffirmed through an encounter with her brother BOGGLED MY MIND!]

Angel was also quoted as saying that she was thrilled that people not only admired and looked up to her with her highwire act skills, wearing an artificial leg; but that they admired her for her strength and courage in fighting her cancer! What a woman! WOW!

So, what were the odds that I would give that talk last Sunday, then meet the brother of a woman who overcame childhood abuse by her father, being taken in and out of her home and placed in and out of foster homes, only to become the dynamic woman she was! WHAT A MENTOR!

Talk about Baghdad Cafe a.k.a. Lily Cafe’. There I sat in the presence of Larry, Antonio, and Mike being humbled and feeling perfectly at home – in that Bohemian, Beautiful atmosphere filled with such amazing individuals!

LIVE LIFE! LAUGH OFTEN!
LIVE LIFE IN A-MAZE-MENT!
Highlighted Ha Ha Helen of LAFOLOT
www.lafolot.com
[this blog post can also be seen at Vibrant Nation via Blog Circle name: Helenoflafolot]

Coming from a background of social awkwardness; to learning how to socialize in a healthy way through 12 Step Programs and counseling; evolving into a strong, independent, self-assured, motivational speaker, business owner, etc. – I was thrilled, when I offered one of my ‘marketing stress reliever pinwheels’ to a woman and she chose to say ‘no’.

Not that it matters, she appeared to be from mid-Eastern background. Being a 3rd generation Hungarian-American, I can understand cultural guidelines.

So, when she responded ‘no’, I smiled – withdrew the offer. I said, ‘I’m a laughter yoga’ instructor – I use these to teach people how to take a deep breath and release it – while having fun with the pinwheel.’ I said, ‘It’s actually not a toy.’ She smiled.

I went to pay my bill, the woman’s food was ready. She saw me laughing and joking with the owner, since I know them well. She looked to me and ‘APOLOGIZED!’ I said: ‘Oh No! It’s quite alright to say ‘no’!’ It’s a very HEALTHY thing to do! [I learned that 'no' is an okay announce, and NO explanation is needed as a follow-up!]
I’m glad you felt comfortable telling me ‘no’. She smiled and thanked me. I said: ‘There is NO GUILT involved in not accepting an offer from me!’ She laughed!

So, KUDOS, to this wonderful, self-assured woman who felt comfortable in responding with a ‘healthy no’ – with no explanation, needed.

HOORAY!
Ha Ha Helen of LAFOLOT
WWW.LAFOLOT.COM

Being Ha Ha Helen, I often get the opportunity to ‘put my foot in my mouth’ on a daily basis!
This is also an example of how I don’t allow anything to stop me from talking to people I encounter when I’m out and about.

In keeping in line with my ‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’ book, I practice what I preach. I openly approach people and talk to them, if I want to educate myself.

So, I went to my favoritie Thai Palace restaurant, for lunch. The restaurant wasn’t that crowded. I had set an intention to give ‘compliments’ to people, today. I encountered a woman sitting at a table and let her know the bright pink jacket she was wearing was beautiful! She thanked me and ended up wearing a beautiful smile with the jacket!

I then got to sit in one of my favorite booths, near a window with bright sunshine pouring in! Ahhh, feel the warmth! I was content. One of my favorite servers Heli, who happens to be from Indonesia, came back to take my order. Having talked to Heli quite a bit, I learned she is from Indonesia, is Budhist and is traveling back to Indonesia this Sunday, February 21, 2010 – due to the family going back to support a sick Aunt. I learned the family is very tight and supportive, because Heli had to give up finishing her last college class to make this trip. She will take the course after a year, when they return. The trip from Harrisburg, PA to Indonesia will be 24 hours long!

So, since we have had very cold weather and 2 major snow storms over the past two week, I openly asked Heli if the weather in Indonesia is warm? She noted it is warm there all the time. I told her I knew she’d be happy about that, because the cold and snow have really gotten to her!

As a result of our open conversation, a woman sitting with her husband at a booth two seats away from me joined in. Heli went to get my drink and the woman said: ‘Wow! Indonesia!’ Being Ha Ha Helen, I took the opportunity to pick up a conversation with them. I asked if they knew Heli was from Indonesia, they said they hadn’t know that.

I noticed the woman’s head was shaved. This is where I began to learn a valuable lesson, don’t make assumptions. Being a very empathetic person, and a teacher of Laughter Yoga/Wellness, I wanted to do something for the woman. I AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMED the woman was going through chemotherapy treatments or something of that sort. I knew I had some LAFOLOT supplies in my car, so I ran out to my Subaru Outback back hatch and put together a LAFOLOT FUN KIT! I wanted this woman to have ’stess reliever pinwheels’, a ‘cheering flag’, a Live Life! Laugh Often! t-shirt, a ‘Live Life! Laugh Often!’ magnetic bumper display, etc etc. I wanted to give her all I could to help heal her through her challenge.

So – open mouth insert foot! I walk up to their table with my LAFOLOT Fun Kit and say: ‘Forgive my boldness, but are you going through chemotherapy?’ She responded: ‘No’ but that’s OK. I said: ‘Oh! Well! In that case, I teach laughter wellness and was going to give you this fun kit to help you through it all; but since you’re not – you may as well take it anyway!’ ha ha She laughed and smiled! She said: ‘SURE!’ I started to pull the stuff out and show her what she could do with all the items. She was THRILLED with her UNEXPECTED, SURPRISE GIFT!

So, being used to making a fool of myself, I just went back to my booth. I called over, “It’s like Christmas all over again!” She said: ‘Yes! It’s great!’ I said: ‘I teach the gift is in the giving, so if you want to pass any of it on, go right ahead!’ She said: ‘Can I contact you via your website?’ I said: ‘Yes!’

A few seconds later, she slightly turned back towards me in her booth seat and said: ‘I’m Budhist, by the way!’ I said, ‘Wow! Isn’t that great? This could be a great promotional slogan: Be Budhist, Get A Gift!’ She turned, and laughed, agreeing with me!
I told her it kinda reminded me of the ’smiling Budha’s I have seen. She agreed.

So, it never hurts to just be open and ASK! Never know what it will get you. As a result of allowing myself to come across a bit foolish, I made her day with a LAFOLOT Fun Kit! I learned not to jump to conclusions just because someone has a shaved head, and – as a result! Here’s the great part! As she was leaving, she came back to me and gave me her business card. She is a newly established photographer: AMIDA Photography – Celebrating the Light [www.amidaphotography.com] She offered, in exhange for the fun kit I gave her, to take a complimentary business photograph of me!

How great is that! Be the type of person that openly approaches people and hands out gifts? Get a complimentary photograph. Be Budhist and sport a shaved head; get a gift! The other wonderful thing is, I got to practice the ‘Steve Wilson Principles of Good Hearted Living’ – Compliments and Forgiveness. I got to forgive myself, and being Budhist Amida openly accepted me ‘just as I was’ and SHE RECEIVED A GIFT! Talk about the practice of ‘being mindful and living in the present!’ I think she has it down pat!

So, as I discuss in my laughter yoga/wellness program; as well as in my book ‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’ – open up and communicate. You never know what you’ll learn about someone. It may be awkward at first; but with good intentions, it all works out in the end!

Namaste’
Live Life! Laugh Often!
Ha Ha Helen of LAFOLOT …living in the moment
a.k.a. Highlighted Helen living BOLD and in Italics!

We experience,
We create,
We Teach, and
We Share
Prejudice and Intolerance.
We have the power to:
Overcome the experience,
Relook at the experience,
Educate ourselves, and
Share what we’ve learned
about overcoming
prejudice and intolerance
to
MAKE LIFE A SONG!
By: Helen Marie Szollosy